


His Heaven, My Hell

by OTPmorelike2000truepairings



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Forced Marriage, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-21 20:13:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 58,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13748421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OTPmorelike2000truepairings/pseuds/OTPmorelike2000truepairings
Summary: Right when everything is going right, Chuck Shurley shows up to tell them the world will be destroyed soon in a fate worse than the Apocalypse- unless Sam and Dean can agree to get married and make peace between Heaven, Hell, and Earth. Dean has no arguments with marrying Cas, but him and Michael didn't really get off on the right foot. Sam's only problem? Well, he doesn't want to marry Gabriel...or Lucifer.





	1. For the Sake of Peace

Sam Winchester lay back on the motel bed and huffed a big sigh of relief. For once it seemed everything was under control- Lucifer was locked tightly in his Cage, Crowley had the demons in line, and there were no crazy angels (save Cas) running around. "Hey, I was thinking," Sam begins, then trails off. 

Dean grunts at him around his sandwich, which Sam takes to mean, 'I'm listening, but my mouth is full.'

"Everything is pretty peaceful right now. So maybe I should..." 

He trails off again, and Dean grunts again, this time translating to 'Out with it, Sammy.'

"I was thinking that maybe I'd go back to Stanford."

Utter silence on Dean's end. 

"I think I'm healed enough from the whole Jess thing, now. And with everything calm right now, the timing is ideal. I had a bit of money saved, so, I don't know. It just felt like maybe I should."

Sam is interrupted by a knock to the door. He looks at Dean, who is chewing on his sandwich with a completely zoned out look on his face, rolls his eyes, and gets up to grab the door. 

"Hey, Chuck," Sam greets as he sees the awkward prophet of God on the other side of the door.

"Can I come in?" he asks, twisting his hands nervously. "I'm sorry, I know I'm interrupting at a bad time, but I saw something you need to be aware of."

Sam props the door open and lets him duck under his arm. 

"Well, there's really no way to say this, so I'm just going to say it. Sam, you can't go back to Stanford."

"Why? Is something going to happen there? A hunt, or more demons, or..."

"No, the problem's not with Stanford, it's with you."

"Oh." Sam isn't sure how to respond to that. 'Nothing offensive about that at all,' he thinks sarcastically.

"You're right about everything being peaceful right now. But pretty soon it's going to get worse, I've seen that much. There's something coming for angels and demons indiscriminately. With the way things stand right now, they will be attacked on two fronts: angels attacked by demons and by the evil coming, and demons vice versa. They will be torn apart. It will be worse than the Apocalypse- much, much worse. With the defeat of heaven and hell, Earth will also cease to exist completely."

"So what, our new mission is to kidnap Lucifer and throw him with...who's ruling heaven nowadays, now that Michael's gone? But to basically pull him out of the Cage and lock him in a room with whoever and tell them they're not coming out until they kiss and make up? Because, no offense, but I don't think that will work," Sam tells Chuck.

"You're not too far off with your reasoning, but you veered the wrong direction," Chuck tells him.

"Was it the kissing part or the kidnapping part that was wrong?" Dean finally asks sarcastically. 

"Kidnapping," Chuck answers seriously. "Listen, here's what I've foreseen: the best things, the most balanced in the universe, come in threes. God, Jesus, Holy Spirit," he says, ticking off each person with his finger.

"The Three Stooges. Destiny's Child. Team Free Will," Dean interrupts. "We get it. So what?"

"So then, it stands to reason that peace could be brought by groups of three as well. Demons, humans, and angels. Peace could be bought between heaven and hell, heaven and Earth, and in heaven with the right alliances. For example: an alliance between heaven and Earth, while also bringing peace in heaven would be Michael, Dean, and Castiel."

"Michael's locked in the Cage," Dean feels the needs to point out. "Also, no offense, but I'm not really into getting buddy-buddy with him. He tried to kill me, he tried to kill Sam, he tried to kill my parents. I don't want to be his friend." He takes a big bite of his sandwich, declaring the matter closed.

"Friend, no," Chuck answers, "husband, yes." 

Dean promptly chokes on his sandwich, coughing and spluttering. 

"For what it's worth, I believe you will come to discover that my son has changed a lot in his time in the Cage, Dean."

Sam stares at him. "Your what?"

"Oh, you two haven't figured it out yet? I'm not a prophet of God, Sam. I am God. I have told you this already, several times."

"Sure you are. Chuck, I don't mean to sound rude but-"

"I know. I'm not your idea of an all-mighty being."

"Ah, no," agrees Sam.

"Ask your friend Castiel. He knows the truth."

"Okay, okay," Dean interrupts again. Sam knows him well enough to realize he's getting agitated at the idea of marrying Michael, which is consequently making him ruder than usual. "So I'm to marry Michael. What else?"

"Michael and Castiel, Dean. There's power in threes, I thought I just explained that."

"Who. Else?" Dean bites through gritted teeth.

"Balthazar, Crowley, and Bobby," Chuck lists, and Dean snorts.

"Bobby's dead. And so is Balthazar"

"I brought Lazarus back from the dead, what makes you think I can't bring them back?"

"Fair point. Continue," Dean says, almost attempting to sound sincere.

"A marriage between Lilith, Ruby, and Azazel will bring peace to hell."

Sam feels faint at that. Sure, peace in hell sounds great, but at the cost of a marriage between three of his biggest enemies? Yeah, maybe not.

"Then the final marriage. It will be one of the strongest, involving two archangels and a human. It will be the ultimate decision in whether this entire thing succeeds or fails," Chuck says.

Sam has a very bad feeling about this.

"Sam, Gabriel, and Lucifer."

Sam strides over to the motel room door and lets himself out without a word. 'As if it's not enough to hear that three of my biggest enemies are coming back, I have to marry Lucifer?! And Gabriel. Sure, I've kinda made my peace with Gabriel with the whole Mystery Spot thing. And he did help us in the end when it mattered, even dying by Lucifer's hand...and that complicates matters too, because he probably doesn't want to marry the guy that killed him. So at least I hopefully have an ally in this stupid marriage thing that Chuck/God wants me to participate in. Unless he'll go the opposite direction and torment me too to try and teach me another lesson...' His thoughts continue in this vein for a while, and he stomps around angrily the whole time. When he eventually tires out he trudges back to the hotel room.

"Chuck left," are the first words Dean greets him with.

Sam hums noncommittally in response.

"We're to meet him tomorrow at that stupid hotel of Gabriel's."

"Ah."

"You were gone for six hours, Sam."

Sam shrugs. "Sorry."

Dean frowns. "Oh, I don't care. If not for the fact that you went out the door first, I would've been walking around too. But I couldn't let Chuck here by himself. He'd probably pick up a sword and stab himself accidentally." 

Sam snorts in agreement. "So, you ready to get all kissy-kissy with Michael?"

"Oh yeah. Pucker up baby, Dean Winchester's here!" Dean collapses back onto the bed, groaning. "No, no. Not at all. If it was an option of taking Baby and you and running away as quick as possible, we'd already be gone. But we're talking the end of the world, and sacrifices for the greater good."

"We need some other hunters to start sacrificing for the greater good," Sam muses.

Dean makes a gagging noise, and Sam looks up, startled. "Dean, you okay? Is it a witches' hex bag?"

"No, just thinking of something gross. So, I'm marrying Cas and Michael, right? But they're...brothers."

"Ew!"

"I know, right? Didn't know God shipped incest."

"Maybe he's completely reverting back to Biblical times, when siblings did marry each other," Sam suggests.

"Still gross."

"Yeah."

Sam looks at Dean and laughs. "Hey Dean, wanna get married?"

"You just want me for my body, don't you, Sammy?" Dean asks, jumping up from the bed and running a hand down his abs tantalizingly. 

"Um, no. That's disgusting."

"I am a gem and any man would be lucky to have me, and that includes you, Sammy."

"Shut up, Dean. But seriously, it's a shame we didn't think of this earlier. Then we'd already be married so we can't participate in this crazy marriage scheme of Chuck's. We'd keep the same last name. We'd never actually have to be married, so there wouldn't need to be a consummation."

"We wouldn't need to have sex with each other," Dean summarizes.

"And, we could have an open marriage and still go sleep with whoever we wanted."

"Dude! Why haven't we gotten married? If you'll let me sleep with other women...I bet Michael won't let me sleep with other women."

"Or men," Sam feels it's important to include.

"I'm not gay, Sammy."

Sam snorts. "Right. You're not gay, you don't give Cas the 'I want to kiss you face', you don't stammer and stutter when guys compliment you, you have never once turned around to check out a guy's butt-"

"Some men have nice a**es, Sammy. I'm envious."

"No, you're not envious. You're gay."

"No, I'm not."

"You watch gay porn, Dean."

"How do you know that? Why are you looking? That's personal!"

"You left it up on my laptop!"

Dean turns away, face bright red. "Dean, I'm sorry," Sam says quietly to his brother's back. "Listen, it's no big deal. I'm gay."

Dean crosses his arms, glaring back at Sam again. "You're just saying that so I feel better."

"No, I'm not. I don't enjoy sex with women, that's why I have sex so infrequently. But I'm curious about men, okay? Just never done it yet. Alright? Women don't do it for me."

"I'm bi," Dean practically whispers.

"That just means you get double the fun," Sam points out. He watches a tiny smile cross Dean's face, though he tries to scrub it away quickly with his hand.

"Besides, at least this way, you know God won't smite you if you kiss Cas. He wants you to kiss him."

"And Michael," Dean points out, sighing again.

"Wanna trade? I'll take Michael, you can have Lucifer."

Dean's nose crinkles. "No thanks. He doesn't do anything for me."

"And Michael does?" Sam asks incredulously.

"No! Just, I don't know. If you need help killing Lucifer though-"

"Do you think I can kill my husband and get away with it?" Sam asks, only somewhat joking.

"Probably not. But hey, at least he comes with a ready-built room you can put him into time-out in, if you need to. Michael does not have the same perk."

Sam laughs, and Dean laughs too. 

"We are going to take as long as possible to get to the hotel tomorrow, by the way," Dean says. "I just don't want to play nicely with Michael any sooner than I have to."

"Were you expecting an argument, cuz you're not getting one," responds Sam.

"G'night, Sammy. See you tomorrow."

"Wait. Dean, can you come sleep with me?"

"Sammy. You are a moose. There is no space in that bed-"

"Yeah, but it'll probably be the last time we can ever do this. Our last hunt ended before we even realized it-"

"No, I'm still going to be a hunter. You too. We won't give them any other choice."

"You're right. We'll force them to agree with us. But this will probably be our last time in hotel rooms like this, just you and me."

Dean huffs in exasperation. "Scoot over. And if you kick me in the middle of the night, be prepared to greet your husbands tomorrow with just one leg."

"Thanks, Dean."

"Shuddup, Sammy."

Dean crawls into bed with Sam, and Sam bundles them both beneath the covers. He flashes back instantly to the last time they did this- he was six, Dean ten. John was with them, and they were hunting...he can't remember. But having Dean with him brought him a sense of security and safety, a feeling like nothing in the world would go wrong so long as Dean had him. It's the same now. In the morning, Sam will have to face reality. He'll have to deal with a marriage he doesn't want, with his arch-enemy and...whatever Gabriel is. But for now, Sam's big brother will protect him. He drifts asleep with that comforting thought.


	2. Elysian Fields Hotel

Sam had to be rather impressed by how well Dean procrastinated when he wanted to. He had turned over and went back to sleep five times this morning. When he finally woke up at nine- which was quite late for a Winchester- they checked out of their motel room and went to breakfast. Somehow, Dean managed to make a meal that typically took thirty minutes into a two hour affair, and he wasn't even flirting with anyone. After that, he drug them into several different curio shops, talking weapons with the owners and admiring various guns and knives. Once his shopping excursion was over and he was walking away with two new silver knives, he drove Baby in the opposite direction of Gabriel's hotel for a solid two hours, until it was late enough that he felt okay to turn around and head back.

Now they were finally there, parked yet again in front of the Elysian Fields Hotel. The brothers exit the car together. Lucifer, Michael, Gabriel, and Castiel stand in a small cluster near the front entrance, clearly waiting for them.

Dean approaches, watching the angel aggregation cautiously. "Hey, Cas."

"Hello, Dean," Cas responds.

Dean seems to take that as some sort of sign, because he starts walking faster until he's up in Cas' personal space, Cas moving out to meet him. They collide, Dean knocking Cas off his feet so they're both laying in the dirt. Cas rolls, trying to gain control, and then their mouths meet. They kiss like they're trying to consume each other, a tiny distant part of Sam's brain notes. He stares at his brother and his angel friend, who are still rolling around on the ground trying to eat one another. He opens his mouth and can't think of anything appropriate to say. His mouth closes again. "Finally," he breathes out.

Dean seems to have forgotten that they are out in the open, because Sam can clearly see his tongue working its way into Castiel's mouth. Sam shudders. "I'm going inside, whenever you two are done come join me," Sam calls, and he turns his back on the kissing couple. He ignores the three archangels entirely, shouldering his bag and walking into the hotel.

Sam freezes inside the hotel, noting that not much has changed. Baldur stands at the concierge desk, and Sam heads over there. "Hello, Sam."

"Baldur. I thought you were dead."

"I was, but I was resurrected, as were many of the others. Would you like the same room as before?"

"No," Sam says decisively. No need to bring up bad memories.

"Here's the key. You, Gabriel, and Lucifer," Baldur practically spat the last name, and Sam sympathizes wholeheartedly, "will be rooming in 225."

"Together?" Sam demands.

"It was the wish of the man named Chuck."

"Of course it was. Where are Dean, Cas, and Michael staying?"

"In room 214."

"No, that's not going to work. Can you move them to either the room next to me or across from me?"

"Certainly, if that is alright with you, sir," he says. 

"That's fine." Sam stiffens to realize Michael is right next to him, reaching out a muscular arm to switch the keys. He refuses to turn and look at him. Instead, he takes his room key and goes to the elevator. In the time it takes for the stupid thing to descend, three angels have joined him. Sam gets in, wishing desperately for an angel blade. His wish remains unanswered as the door closes and the elevator begins its slow descent.

The silence is awkward and uncomfortable, but Sam is not about to be the one to break it. He distantly recalls an assignment that he did at Stanford where you had to make a short resume speech, as though it would be delivered in an elevator. He didn't like the assignment then, but this awkwardness is terrible too. He bounces on the balls of his feet, eager to be left out of the elevator.

The elevator opens like a shot and Sam flies out of it, nearly toppling Gabriel in his haste to leave. He finds their room and unlocks it, entering the room to toss his bag into it. Unlike the last room he and Dean stayed in, there is only one large bed, large enough for two- or perhaps even three. Sam shudders. He will be filching a key the second Baldur's back is turned. He pulls his new knife out of his pocket, ready to go hunting.

The angels are still standing there when Sam turns around, and he's still ignoring them, so he ducks out the door without saying anything. He brandishes his knife as he tiptoes down the stairs, then falls to the ground as Dean and Cas finally enter, distracting Baldur so Sam can sneak by. He bounces to his feet again, knife ready as he sneaks into the kitchen. 

As he enters he keeps the knife up just in case anyone is about to attack him, but the kitchen is empty. He checks the freezer first, remembering the horrified guests who were locked in there to be eaten the last time he and Dean stayed here. The freezer is empty. Sam doesn't trust it, poking around at each dish until he is satisfied that the food is just food, nothing monstrous or human about it.

He turns, ready to leave, and nearly smacks into Gabriel. "Stop that," he protests.

"Stop what?"

"Following me. It's annoying."

"Sammy!" Dean bursts into the kitchen, setting the door swinging as he slams it open, brandishing the knife. 

"Right in the kitchen, Dean, just like I told you," Cas reassures him, following along behind him.

Dean spins around, checking it out quickly. "Is it normal?"

Sam shrugs. "So far."

Dean frowns, but he pockets the knife. 

"Come, Dean, Sam, brothers, we should not be here," Cas says, and they follow him out.

"Dean," Michael says as they walk out.

"Hi, Michael." Dean greets him, though Sam can't help the fierce jolt of pleasure that runs through him when he realizes his brother isn't looking at Michael, either.

"I wanted to apologize for all I've done, to both you and Sam."

"And Cas. You hurt him too."

"To all of you," Michael amends. "I am certain only time will prove I am telling the truth, but I've changed my ways during my time in the Cage."

"We don't have time," Dean snaps back. "We're getting married in..." his voice trails off, because Chuck never actually told them when they were going to get married.

"In a month," Cas supplies. 

"30 days?" Sam and Dean demand together.

"That's not much time at all," Dean complains.

"For us, it'll be less time," Cas adds. "The month-long event will end with the marriage of Sam, Gabriel, and Lucifer. I believe we will be getting married two days earlier."

"Twenty-eight days," Dean gripes. 

"I prepared a list of activities for us to do in that time," Michael says, conjuring sheets of paper and handing them to his siblings, then Sam and Dean. Sam walks over to a nearby table, sinking into it as his attention is consumed by the list. 'Ice skating, basketball, hiking, dancing' starts the list.

"Dancing? I don't dance," Sam argues.

"Nor do I, but I was under the impression that humans dance at their weddings," Michael answers.

Gabriel asks, "Where did you find these?"

"Oh, I just researched common dating ideas."

Sam realizes Dean hasn't come to the table and finds him over at the dessert table. He's loading a fifth slice of pie onto a precariously stacked plate, smiling flirtatiously at a young woman next to him. Sam can't hear what she says in response, but it's clear that she's turning him down. Dean says something and she gestures to their table. Sam turns back around, trying to pretend he isn't looking at them, and unwittingly catches Cas' eye. Cas is glaring at the woman like he's preparing to stab her.

"Dude!" Dean says, coming to sit back down, "Was that really necessary?"

"What happened?" Sam needs to know.

"She turned me down because my boyfriend is clearly the possessive type. No amount of telling her I didn't have a boyfriend helped," he adds, glaring at Cas.

"We're getting married. You kissed me, you WILL NOT go flirt with another woman now. That's rude."

Dean's mouth drops open. "Yeah, fine, whatever," he mutters sulkily.

"I told you so," Sam mutters under his breath.

Dean snarks, "Real mature, Sammy."

Dean turns to the paper, skimming quickly as he shovels pie into his mouth. "No, I'm not giving up Baby, and that's final."

"That section of the paper was more for those of us who do not have cars, mainly me and my brothers, but Sam as well. You and Castiel can go along to offer your opinion," Michael reassures him.

Sam's eyes skim the paper until he reaches that part, 'buy a car' and right under that, "House hunting?" he asks, reading the next part of the list.

"I didn't assume we would be living in the hotel forever."

"A house?" Sam repeats, looking at Dean with rising panic. Sure, at some point he had wanted a house, but not with Lucifer and Gabriel!

"I don't want one," Dean says petulantly.

Michael sighs. "Dean, please. I am trying to make this easy for you. I want your opinion on these things, because I feel they are important matters that a spouse should get input on. I would like a house, and I would very much like for you to like it, too."

"I don't want one," repeats Dean. "I'm fine living in motel rooms all the time."

"No, you're not," argues Cas. "You do want a house, I've seen it in your mind before."

"I said no!" Dean argues. He shoves the empty plate away from him and pushes his chair away from the table, abandoning it. Sam leaves with him in a show of support.

Dean says nothing as Sam follows him out, at least not until they get to the lobby. "So I was thinking I'd sleep in Baby tonight. You can join, if you want."

"I was thinking I'd steal a different room key. You could join me, if you want."

Dean shrugs. "Sounds better." He says nothing as they walk outside and climbs inside of Baby, but then as he puts the car into gear he asks, "Have Gabriel or Lucifer said anything?"

"Not really. They seem to be trying to follow my lead on this, and my lead is to ignore them both."

Dean hums as he floors Baby. "We have one month to learn to talk to them, Sammy. One freaking month. That's not much time."

"Not much time at all."

"I almost want the Apocalypse back."

"Never thought I'd hear you say that."

"Dean," Cas says, popping into the car with angel mojo, and Dean nearly swerves off the road. Cars slam on their horns and brakes simultaneously around him, and Dean shifts the car into park.

"Cas," Dean replies evenly. "How many times have I told you not to do that?"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to reassure you that Michael and I are in no rush to select a house, since that topic of conversation seemed to upset you."

"It's too domestic, picking a house," explains Dean. "I'm not good at that."

"Oh, c'mon!" argues Sam. "You did great with Lisa and Ben!"

"And look how well that turned out. I'm just not cut out for it, that's all. Besides, I won't do like Bobby did, buy a house and become a waystation for hunters. I need to be out there, not on the phone all the time!"

"That's not what we're asking for," Cas tells him. "A house, Dean, not an end to your hunting. Michael and I talked about this, and we were in agreement that he would join us as I joined you and Sam. We will hunt together, as a family. Besides, it would be nice to have a bed that is yours."

"I don't want this, not like it is," Dean says, frustrated. He rakes his fingers through his hair. "I don't want to marry Michael. Just you, Cas, leave him out of it."

"That's not the way it works. Think of it as a...buy one, get one free special."

Sam snorts. 

"And Sam, you should attempt to speak to my brothers."

"I don't want to."

"I know. But Gabriel is insecure right now, he needs to know where he stands with you. He'd prefer to be your friend, if you'll let him."

"Gabriel's insecure? He's not the one marrying two archangels!"

"He doesn't really consider himself an archangel anymore. Talk to him, Sam. Do you forgive him for what he's done?"

"I guess," Sam responds, thinking it over.

"Then please tell him that. Let's go back, we can get to know each other without pressure. Tomorrow everyone else comes, we will be watched with much more frequency. It will be far more difficult to make peace then."

Dean turns the car around, but no one says anything until they arrive back at the hotel. Sam pulls himself out of Baby reluctantly and troops back inside. He pays no attention to his brother, who has dropped back to talk with Cas, but steels his nerves and troops up to room 225. He pushes the door open and stalks inside.

Gabriel and Lucifer are both slouched on separate couches, but like his presence has forced them to move they jump to their feet. "Sam, you came back," Gabriel states, sounding surprised.

Sam shrugs. "I did," he agrees lowly. "Although I have to be honest, I'm really only back because Cas told me to."

A tiny smile plays across Gabriel's face, and he and Lucifer both sit back down. "He's very good at that."

Sam smirks. "This is so awkward. What do the both of you want from me?" He stares down Lucifer first, making it clear the older angel will be participating in this discussion too.

"Well, you won't be my vessel, so I don't really care what you do."

"Not a good answer. Try again."

"I'd appreciate your forgiveness," Lucifer spits. "Like my holy older brother said, I've changed too. I'd like for you not to look like you're expecting me to slaughter all your friends, but that's really asking a lot. Oh, and I'd like for you to know that if you think you'll flirt with a girl like your brother did today, or flirt with anyone besides Gabriel, I'm going to make them regret it."

"Alright so see, we're getting somewhere! Lucifer doesn't approve of an open marriage. Gabriel, what do you want?"

"A friend," he answers immediately. "I don't need you to love me, but I do need- want- whatever- a friend to get through this whole thing with."

"Do you want us to have a romantic relationship?"

"Does it matter what I want? We're all going to have sex the night we get married for sure, that's how our marriage will be considered valid. For the peace of the world, we've got to."

"I'm going to kill Chuck the next time I see him," growls Sam under his breath. "He forgets to tell Dean and I all the important stuff."

Gabriel laughs. "Seriously, though, I wouldn't mind a romantic relationship. I like you a lot, Sam, and so does Lucifer."

"I do not!"

"Do too!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh!"

"Guys!" Sam interrupts.

"I don't," Lucifer says, kicking both feet on the couch and turning his head away.

Sam suddenly recalls something. "Didn't you promise you'd never lie to me?"

"Yes," Lucifer answers tersely. He clearly sees where Sam is going with this. 

"So?"

"I can't help it! You were literally created for me, OF COURSE I LIKE YOU! Only you can't stand me, so what does it matter?"

"I can stand you." 

"Then why are you talking to my ear right now? You don't do that with Gabriel!"

"Maybe because Gabriel and I don't have quite the same relationship as you and I."

"Gabriel killed your brother! And don't you dare tell me that didn't bother you, because I was inside you and I know you're lying."

"But ultimately he made the right choice! He died to protect us, and he gave us the secret to reopen your Cage."

Lucifer turns a terrifying glare on his brother. "That was you?"

"Not the point," Sam interjects quickly. "The point is, Gabriel tried to make the right decision. You didn't."

"Because you wouldn't see sense! You were created for me, to be my vessel, and you walked away!"

"You wanted to end the world and kill my brother!"

"After all this time, do you think that's the only thing I was after? Crowley is right, you're lucky you have your looks, because your brains surely leave a lot to be desired!" He stands up and stalks away. 

Sam jumps up too. "Don't you dare walk away! Tell me what you wanted!"

"Or what? What will you do?" Lucifer demands. 

"I'm not sure yet," Sam replies honestly. 

Lucifer scoffs and walks away, slamming the hotel room door behind him.

Gabriel laughs, loud in the quiet following Lucifer's outburst. "He does like you! Anyone else he would incinerate for that."

"Aren't I lucky?" Sam drawls. There is a long pause, then Sam says, "Well it's been fun. I'm going out, don't wait up."

"Will you be back?"

"Not tonight. I'm not sleeping in the same room as Lucifer voluntarily."

"Fine. Leave me alone with him, I don't care," pouts Gabriel, throwing himself dramatically back onto the oversized bed. 

Sam frowns. "Come with me."

"You don't want me to, though."

"Yes I do. C'mon, Gabriel. Come with me." Sam wiggles his hand at Gabriel, who bounces up with enthusiasm to grab it. 

They leave together, creeping downstairs to steal a key. "No," Baldur calls as he sees them enter the lobby. 

"You owe me," Gabriel reminds him. 

"I'm only alive because of your god. I will not cross him and die again. He wants you three in a room together, I'm not going against that."

Gabriel huffs and stalks away. "He doesn't sleep, and he won't leave his post now that he knows we want a key. Next idea?"

"Dean was planning to hide out in Baby and invited me to join him too. We can both join, if he'll let us." 

They troop back upstairs and check out the hallway, cautiously waiting for Lucifer to pop around the corner. He doesn't, so Sam knocks on the opposite door from theirs- Dean, Cas, and Michael's room. Michael yanks open the door. "Brother. Samuel. Please, come in." He props the door open so Sam has to duck under his arm.  
Dean and Cas are both sitting at a table in the room playing poker. A folded down hand tells that Michael has been playing with them too. 

"Sammy, did you and your boyfriend come to join us?" Dean calls. "I'll deal you in."

"No thanks. We're wondering what your plan for sleeping arrangements was," Sam answers, pulling up the chair and spinning it so he's straddling it backwards.

Dean blushes a tiny bit. "I figured I'd sleep here tonight. With Cas. And Michael."

Sam stares at him, certain he didn't hear him right. "Sorry, you'll what?"

"Stay here. In the big bed with Michael and Cas. He's ah-he's not that bad. We've made our peace, me and Michael."

Sam continues to stare at him blankly. 

"But you could have the keys to Baby if you want," Dean offers, grabbing the keys out of his pocket. 

Sam reaches for the offering but Dean jerks it back. "No hanky-panky," he warns sternly. 

"Not like you and Dad, you mean?" Sam retorts. He grabs the keys from his brother. "Thanks, Jerk."

"Bi**h," Dean replies. "Oh and Sam? I'm not covering for you with Lucifer."

Sam shrugs. "I don't think he'll care."

"Your funeral," mutters Dean. 

Sam doesn't answer. He leads Gabriel outside to where the car is parked and the two men crawl inside. Sam reclines the driver's seat and turns until he's comfortable. "Night, Gabriel."

"Good night, Sam." 

Sam drifts off into fitful sleep. Nightmares hold him tight in their grasp, recollections of quality time spent with Lucifer in the Cage. At some point the nightmares stop and he drifts off into a restful sleep. 

Sam is awakened by a loud rapping. He jumps awake, confused for a moment, but as he looks around everything comes back to him. 

"Get up, Jerk. Your future husband is looking for you two, and it's breakfast time. And people are supposed to be arriving soon. Get up!"

"I'm up!" Sam protests, getting out of the car. He hears Gabriel grumbling behind him and knows he's out of the car too, so he hands over the keys to Baby. 

He sneaks inside, keeping an eye out for his future husband. He's not in the lobby, but he is in the dining room. Crap! Sam really wanted the fruit they had, too!

Sam can feel Dean at his back, and he leans around to scope out the area too. "Dean, go distract him."

"No way! He's already pissed because I told him I didn't know where you two were."

Sam racks his brain trying to think of another solution that doesn't involve being spotted by Lucifer. 

"Who are we hiding from?"

Sam jumps and whips around. "Hey, Cas. We're hiding from Lucifer. We need a distraction."

Cas smirks. Then he's gone, launching himself into the dining room to tackle Lucifer to the ground while screaming, "I am your distraction!"

Sam and Gabriel exchange identical looks of confusion, but shrug and hurry inside the dining room. They both load plates with food quickly and then rush back out. Sam mashes the elevator button and they vanish inside as soon as it comes. Gabriel hits the second floor button, and both boys giggle as they think of Lucifer's expression as Cas tackled him. "That was the best," Sam gasps.

"He looked so confused!"

The elevator dings and Sam steps out first. He walks into someone. "Hey, sorry. I wasn't-" he looks up to see Michael. "Hi, Michael."

"Samuel. Gabriel. The other guests are arriving. I trust you two have made peace with Lucifer?"

"Oh yeah. Totally," Sam lies automatically. 

Michael looks at him skeptically. "So if I went to ask him-"

Sam's wince is all the answer Michael needs. "I see. I will remind you that with guests arriving it is imperative the three of you present a united front. Come along." He shuffles them back in the elevator, taking them back down to the lobby. Sam is trying to figure out how he can escape, but Michael has latched onto his arm and it feels like Sam won't be getting free without dislocating his shoulder. 

He steers them straight into the dining room, calling, "Brother I have something of yours!"

Lucifer looks shocked. "Where were you two? Gabriel, you have powdered sugar on your lip!" He cradles Gabriel's head in his hands, kissing him gently. Sam's jaw drops as Lucifer pulls back, a hint of an impish grin on his face. "Got it."

He turns to Sam. "Sam-"

Sam jumps away, scrubbing at his face before he can be subjected to the same treatment. 

Lucifer frowns but says nothing about it. 

"Guys, the d**ks with wings squad have arrived," Dean calls. 

Lucifer leads the way to the lobby, tugging Gabriel along with him since he is holding his hand. He meshes seamlessly in with Cas and Dean, looking for all the world like he belongs with them. 

Sam looks to Michael, who has yet to release him. "Come on, future brother-in-law. Let's go greet the rest of the family."


	3. Angels Arrive

It was amazing how easy it was to forget how annoying angels were. Zachariah had returned from the dead and was trying to get right back into his position as Michael's number one wingman. It was nauseating watching him glare at Sam, Dean, Cas, Lucifer, and Gabriel while sucking up to his boss at the same time. 

"Time will tell," Michael answers. "I don't believe Castiel and I intend to select helpers until we are certain they can tolerate Dean. I won't have my husband be murdered because he sassed the wrong person."

"Hey Sammy, know what I'm thinking?" Dean asks quietly.

"That being dead hasn't changed Zachariah at all?"

"You're right, but no. See that suitcase thing over there? That bellhops throw luggage on?"

"The luggage trolley."

"I get all tingly when you use your college education like that, Sammy."

Sam throws his brother a bi**h face. 

"But I was thinking, when we were kids we never got to stay in a hotel like this. We should jump up on that thing and recreate 'The Suite Life of Zach and Cody' theme song."

Sam wishes he had an argument against this, but at the moment he can't think of a single thing. "Let's go."

"Me first," Dean announces. He runs over to the luggage trolley and bounces up on it. "Push me, Sammy!" he orders.

Sam throws all of his weight into it, whipping his brother across the lobby and down the hall of the first floor hotel rooms. Dean shouts for joy, holding onto the bar above his head as Sam pushes the cart faster and faster. 

"Faster Sammy!" Dean demands. Sam does, taking a hairpin turn and careening them back into the lobby. The look on the angels' faces is enough to put Sam nearly in hysterics. Zachariah is staring at them with his mouth slightly parted and a judgmental look on his face, like he cannot imagine that Dean is dignified enough to be marrying Michael. Michael looks vaguely disapproving too, mouth tensed in a straight line like he's biting back angry words. Cas has his head tilted, the confused puppy dog expression on his face, as though he's trying to figure out what on Earth possessed them to do that. Lucifer is completely blank, not responding to them in any way, and Gabriel's eyes are sparkling as though he's going to jump on next.

"Cas, you've gotta try this!" Dean calls, and Cas comes over obediently.

"What, no way! I pushed you first, it's my turn next! Then Cas can go!" Sam argues. Sure, it's childish, but it also looked like fun, and he's not sacrificing his turn when Cas can wait.

Dean obediently takes his turn as the manual labor, pushing Sam around while belting out the lyrics to the theme song. Cas tags along beside him, looking bemused. "Zachariah is very upset with you," he tells Dean.

Dean shrugs, the movement weird with the speed of the luggage trolley. "Oh well. He has been before, I think I'll survive."

Dean lurches them to a halt, nearly enough to throw Sam off the trolley, and he tumbles off still laughing. "That was the best! C'mon, Cas, Dean and I will push you together."

Cas climbs up onto the trolley, looking confused. "Hold on tight," Dean orders, and Cas tightens his hold around the luggage trolley. As they whip by the angels for the third time Gabriel breaks away from the group, seamlessly breaking Sam and Dean's grip and chucking them onto the trolley with Cas and leaping on himself. With a quick snap of his fingers the trolley is big enough to hold four grown men. It seems to be working with angel power now, whipping down turns and careening through the halls faster than Sam or Dean- or both of them together- could ever have achieved. The trolley careens through the lobby, scattering the angels that are still standing there. Gabriel laughs, and the trolley shoots into the elevator. 

By the time they are spit back out into the lobby, they are going fast enough that Sam can hardly register the presence of a new angel talking with Michael. The door is left open and the four of them whiz out of the hotel. The trolley wheel catches on a small bump as it hits gravel and the four men are launched into the air.

As he lands Sam's attention is instantly claimed by grunting nearby- sounds of a fight. To his left his mother is fighting against Anna, who is clearly trying to hurt her. Sam runs toward them. Dean is faster, which means Sam arrives at the fight just in time to watch Anna take a swing at his mother. Dean shoves her back, and takes the pole to the chest that was meant for her.

"Dean!" Sam screams.

Castiel has produced an angel blade and is trying to stab Anna with it, but she lurches out of the way and falls to her knees beside Dean. "Sorry, I'm sorry, that was an accident," she apologizes, stretching out her hand and healing him. Dean's entire body jerks as he sucks in a breath. His chest wound begins to heal before their eyes, flesh stitching itself back together as though it had never been parted.

Anna's hand flies up to stop the blade as Castiel brings it down. She jumps up and the two circle each other, obviously looking for weaknesses.

"Anna!" Apparently Dean's future archangel husband has a voice like thunder when he wants people to listen. And listen they do, Sam notes. Cas and Anna both drop their blades, both of their faces affecting innocent 'I wasn't going to stab them, no sir' faces. He hears Mary's weapon clatter to the ground behind them, and realizes she must have picked up the pole that Dean had gotten stabbed with. "Would one of you like to explain what is going on here?"

Dean takes a deep breath. "She stabbed me."

"It was an accident!"

"She tried to stab my mother!"

"She tried to stab me first!"

"Wait. Really, Mom? You took on an angel?" Dean asks, sounding impressed.

"I remember her," Mary defends her actions, glaring daggers at the redhead across from them. "She tried to kill me once before. And John." Mary's voice trails off for a minute, staring at Sam and Dean, "And you two were there too, but you weren't children, you're almost like you are now. And you," she says, turning to address Michael, "what the h**l are you? You look like my husband, but you are definitely not John Winchester."

"I'm Michael. I'm an archangel of the Lord." Michael lets the shadow of his wings become visible for just a moment behind him before they fade into nothingness again. 

"He's also my future husband," Dean supplies when she looks to him for answers.

"I thought you were marrying Castiel?"

"I am. I'm marrying them both."

Mary gapes at him for a moment, then smiles approvingly at him. "Whatever makes you happy, dear."

"Castiel, is there a reason why you are fighting Anna?" Michael questions, pinching the bridge of his nose in a universal 'I am completely fed up' signal. 

"She healed Dean!"

Sam frowns. "I thought that was a good thing," he mutters to Gabriel, who has joined him, slipping his hand into Sam's and linking their fingers together.

Gabriel shakes his head. "Not in this case. It's rude, very nearly a challenge to Dean's mates. Between angels, you shouldn't heal another angel's spouse or soon to be spouse. It's like saying you don't think they can take care of them."

"Anna," Michael reprimands, "why did you heal Dean?"

"I didn't realize he was the one you're marrying!"

"Perhaps we should take this inside," Cas interrupts. "Mary, can I grab your bags?"

"Sure, honey." She turns to Dean and lowers her voice. "I like that one. I don't know about the other one, though. He's a bit... intense."

Dean shrugs. "I am, too."

Mary gives him a hug. "I'm so glad to be here with you. Celebrating this special day!" She hugs Sam then too. "I heard you're getting married too!"

"Yes. My future husband, Gabriel," he introduces them. Gabriel drops Sam's hand to take Mary's and kiss the back of it. 

"Sammy, what a charmer! How did you two meet?"

"He masqueraded as a trickster and killed Dean. About a hundred times."

"It was a hundred and three, but who's counting?" Gabriel interjects smoothly. 

Mary looks back and forth between the two of them. "You're not joking."

"Surprisingly, no. Normally I am, so I can see why you're confused," answers Gabriel. 

Mary clearly resolves to discuss that later. "Are you marrying a second man too, Sammy?"

Sam winces. "Yeah. His name is Lucifer."

Mary stops walking. "I hope he has no relation to the Lucifer that is also Satan."

"Oh, I'd say they're pretty similar," Sam mutters. 

"Sam, are you marrying the devil?" Mary asks. 

"Yes?" Sam answers, making it sound more like a question.

"Oh, Sammy," replies Mary, voice full of pity. "Why?"

"World peace. The usual. It's really no big deal, Mom."

"Michael? Don't leave me with your winged judgmental minions! Sam, what happened? Why is Dean covered in blood?" Lucifer asks as he comes out of the hotel.

"That's a normal state of being for him," Sam mutters. "Anna stabbed him," he answers louder.

Lucifer laughs. "I'm sure my brothers appreciated that! Is she dead?"

"No."

"Then I'll go kill her now." 

Sam grabs his arm as he walks away. "No. Michael and Cas are dealing with it."

Lucifer stares at Sam's arm, and Sam pulls his hand away. "Sorry," Sam mumbles.

"You're touching me. Voluntarily." 

Lucifer moves in to touch him, so Sam leaps away. "Have you met my mother?" he babbles. "Mom, this is Lucifer, Lucifer, this is my mom."

Lucifer kisses her hand too. "Dean looks a lot like you," Lucifer observes. "Sam too, but in a more subtle manner.

"You're Satan?" Mary questions incredulously.

Lucifer nods. "I see my reputation has preceded me."

Sam maneuvers so Gabriel is shoving his brother out of the way and he can walk beside his mother again. 

"Everybody's coming back from the dead, Mom. You'll get to meet all our friends!" Sam exclaims enthusiastically.

He enters the hotel again to realize Bobby is back, along with Crowley and Balthazar. Sam doesn't stop to think- he lets go of Gabriel's hand and launches himself at Bobby, knocking him to the ground. Crowley is connected via their hands, so he falls too. Crowley lets go of Bobby's hand and stands up, dusting off his suit.

"This is Armani, Moose. It should not be on the ground," Crowley fusses.

"That's not what you said last night," Balthazar remarks offhandedly, and Crowley glares at him. Sam makes a face. 

"Dean, did you see-" his voice trails off as he looks for his brother. "Michael! Where's Dean!"

"Cas and I made him go change his shirt because it was all bloody. He'll be down soon."

"So good to see you, Bobby!: Sam exclaims, crushing the man again in a hug.

Crowley backs away as Sam turns to him. "Don't even think about it, Samantha."

"It's good to see you too Crowley," Sam says earnestly. "You too Balthazar."

"Thank you," replies Balthazar. "Where is Castiel? I owe him a good punch for killing me."

"I don't-" Sam begins, but Balthazar looks beyond him to the elevator that is just opening. Dean and Cas exit together, Dean now dressed in a new, blood-free shirt. Balthazar hustles over and Sam watches as he pulls back his arm and punches Cas hard in the jaw, then promptly throws his arms around him. Dean's face is shocked, and he is clearly contemplating hitting Balthazar. Sam runs to grab him before he can.

"Dean, Bobby's back!" he says, physically pushing his brother to Bobby. Dean hugs him distractedly. "Your future husband just punched mine!"

"My fiances are both savages," Crowley states matter-of-factly. "Trying to make them both behave is a full-time job."

Balthazar walks over with an arm slung around Cas. Dean glares at him. "If you ever do that again, I will kill you."

"Glad to see you're as arrogant as ever."

"Not arrogance if it's true. Give me an angel blade and I'll prove it right now."

Balthazar hands Dean his blade. Instantly Michael is there, hand on Dean's wrist. "Do. Not," he orders tersely. "I'm having enough trouble with people wanting to kill you, don't add to it." He turns a glare on Sam next. "You too."

Sam's hands fly up defensively. "I wasn't even thinking about it!"

"But you will with the demons. So I'm warning you right now, don't you dare. In fact, that goes for all of you. No fighting!"

Gabriel sticks his tongue out at Michael's back as he walks away. 

For a while it's only the angels that show up. Dean gets bored quickly with being the trophy husband, so he hides out in the dining room. Mary, Sam, Crowley, Bobby, Gabriel, and Lucifer join him. Baldur brings them alcohol and leaves them alone. After a few minutes Cas sneaks in too, shoving in between Sam and Dean so he can lean against Dean's shoulder. "You abandoned me," he complains softly. 

"Sorry Cas. I couldn't smile at one more angel who secretly wants to kill me."

"I'm offended Dean," Balthazar comments, sitting across from them. "I don't secretly want to kill you." He pauses for emphasis then adds, "I make sure you know it."

"And when he dies, you'll be the last person we suspect because of that fact alone," Sam states. 

Cas rolls his eyes. "Hide out while you can. Michael will expect us by his side once we're in charge of heaven."

Dean stares at him with wide eyes. "Once we're what?"

"In charge of heaven. Michael is an archangel, after all, the oldest of the brothers, and the one in charge of heaven now. Once we're married that role will transfer to us as well."

Michael's arrival cuts off Dean's surprised response. "Here you are. Why did you leave me?"

"I have to rule heaven?!" Dean exclaims. 

It's Michael who answers. "Not alone, of course Castiel and I will rule by your side. Were you not informed? Balthazar, Bobby, and Crowley are to be heaven's ambassadors to Earth. Lilith, Ruby, and Azazel are ambassadors to hell, and of course Sam, Gabriel, and Lucifer will rule hell."

"WHAT?" Three shocked Winchesters exclaim together. 

"Sam and you were always opposites, Dean. You were my vessel, he was Lucifer's. Is it truly such a surprise to find that if you are to rule heaven, he is to rule hell?"

"I'm very surprised," Mary says. "Did anyone else know this?"

"I suspected," Bobby admits. 

"I knew," Crowley says, and Balthazar nods. 

"Cas?" Sam and Dean demand together. 

"I thought you knew, until moments ago."

Sam swings his body to the other side, staring down Gabriel and Lucifer. "This is news to me!" Gabriel exclaims. 

Lucifer grimaces. "I knew, and I didn't tell you because I knew you'd respond like this."

"When exactly were you planning to bring this up?" 

"Not until we were married."

Gabriel and Sam both glare at him. "What? You have deep-seated prejudices against hell!"

"I wonder why?" Sam sasses. 

"Lucifer, you have to tell your husband these things. I do sincerely apologize, Sam and Dean. I believed you were both aware of the situation," Michael says. 

Sam walks away, throwing, "I'm getting lunch!" over his shoulder. He walks up to the buffet and throws food onto his plate. He's so distracted anyone could sneak up on him and kill him right now. 'There is no way I'm going to rule hell! Especially not with Lucifer!'

"Hey, Sam." Sam perks up at hearing the familiar voice.

"Ellen? You're back!"

"Why the long face?"

"Long story. Tell you later," he answers.

"When we died, did you get rid of all the hellhounds?" Jo asks, bouncing excitedly on the balls of her feet next to her mother.

"Yeah. You guys blew them all up. The gun didn't work on Lucifer, as it turns out, but I accepted being his vessel then threw him into the Cage."

"You went to hell?" Jo demands.

Sam shrugs. "Dean did it too. I am so sorry. I wish there was more we could have done to help you guys. We didn't want-"

"Shut up, Sam. If there was another way you would've tried it, we know that. There was nothing you could've done," Ellen interrupts. "We don't blame you."

"No, we don't," Jo agrees.

Ash runs up behind them and jumps on Jo's back, nearly knocking her over. There is a bunch of screaming as the family reunites. Once they break apart they head over to the table, Sam trailing them.

"Budge over, Cas," Jo requests, "I'd like to talk to Dean."

"Jo! How are you?" Dean asks, jumping up to hug her. 

They both don't see Cas glare at them for a moment before he settles down again. Michael doesn't have the same response, he continues to glare.

"Fine, fine, but I heard you're getting married!"

"Yeah, to Cas. And Michael."

"Oh good you finally admitted you had feelings for him. How long did it take?"

"We talked about it yesterday."

"Really, Dean? I knew you were into him before I died! Why do you think I refused to sleep with you?"

"THAT was why? I wasn't gay back then!"

"Yes, you were. You checked him out all the time."

"Anyway, we're getting married. And Michael, too."

"Who's Michael?"

"The archangel looking like he's swallowed a lemon next to Cas."

"Hi, Michael! Castiel, how are you?"

"Better now. Dean has missed you."

"Cas!" Dean protests, turning red. "Come grab food with me Jo, we have a lot to catch up on."

Sam claps a hand on Michael's shoulder. "They're like brother and sister, calm down."

"Dean wanted to sleep with her," growls Michael.

"And she turned him down on the night before she died because she knew he was into Cas. What does that tell you?"

Michael's growl echoes through the dining room, and Sam looks up to see his brother's arm on Jo's, both of them laughing. Dean looks up, along with everyone else in the dining room. Sam cringes. 

Dean heads back to the table, balancing his plate carefully. As soon as he's in reaching distance Michael grabs him, and Sam wisely lets him go. Michael yanks him onto his lap and kisses Dean harshly to prove a point- mine, not yours. Next to them, Cas rolls his eyes at his brother's display of dominance and turns away. 

"Dude, was that really necessary? My mom is right there!" Dean argues when he's released, still perched on Michael's lap. 

Cas takes that as a cue to intervene, grabbing Dean and spinning him toward him. A low conversation follows. 

Meanwhile, Jo sits with her mother, next to Mary and across from Dean and Michael. "Look, I can tell this is going to be an ongoing problem with you, so lets get this out of the way- I don't like your fiance. He's like my brother, and I have no romantic attraction to him at all. You're marrying him, and I totally respect that," she addresses Michael. 

"He wanted to sleep with you!" 

"Yeah, he did. Years ago, before he realized nobody cares if he liked men instead of women. It's not like that for him now."

"Also, I'm not into Jo anymore, if anyone cares," Dean adds.

Michael scans Dean and Jo both for a minute before saying "I can see I misjudged this situation."

"Little bit, yeah," Dean intones sarcastically. Sam shakes his head at him, and he instantly changes track. "But it's done now. Jo and I forgive you, but you can't do this in the future. I can talk to people without you getting upset because at the end of the day I'm coming home to you and Cas, not anyone else." He leans forward and pecks Michael's pout before leaning across the table to talk with Mary and Ellen about something, completely missing the look Sam gives him.

"Are you jealous, Sam?" The cool breath of Lucifer brushes over Sam's ear, causing him to stiffen and grab Gabriel's wrist. "Gabriel and I could kiss you if you want."

"Let him go, Lucifer," Gabriel chides. "You're scaring him."

"You underestimate him, Gabriel. He'll be fine."

"Don't mock us."

"Mock you? No! I'm just telling you I don't think he's afraid."

"Sam?" Gabriel asks. Sam's eyes snap to Gabriel's whiskey-colored ones. "Can you let go of my wrist? You're grinding the bones together."

Sam releases him immediately. Gabriel holds his arm up so Lucifer can see the finger-shaped bruises circling his wrist in a black-and-blue bracelet. "No doubt, brother. He's not afraid of you."

Sam grabs for him. "I'm sorry! My goodness..."

"I'm an archangel, Sam. I'm fine. I'm healed already, see?" He allows Sam to turn his arm this way and that, staring at the unblemished skin. Sam reaches tentative fingers to where the marks had been, pressing lightly and watching his face carefully to see if he winces. He doesn't, so Sam releases him again. 

Gabriel smiles at him. "You're adorable."

"I'm not!" Sam declares hotly, face heating. 

"Yes you are. Your face when you checked me over- adorable. So focused."

"Can't wait until you watch him research," Lucifer mumbles behind him, and Sam grins. 

"I hope you don't look too hot. I have very low impulse control. You wouldn't get much done."

Sam rolls his eyes. 

"Lets test that sometime," Lucifer suggests. 

"My impulse control?"

"Sam's focus."

A wicked gleam enters Gabriel's eyes. "We should."

Sam leaves the conversation at this point and jumps into one with Cas. "You guys have any ideas on where you're going to live?"

"Not yet. Dean wants somewhere in the central U.S. for hunting purposes. And close to you of course. To Michael and I- we don't care. It is not of import to us. What of you and my brothers?"

"We didn't talk about it yet. Probably somewhere a bit more isolated so we don't have neighbors. People will talk and I'd rather avoid that."

"People do talk, it's how they have conversations," Cas states matter-of-factly. 

Sam blinks at him, then decides to switch topics. "Please tell me you're getting rid of your ugly car."

"I like that car. I'm keeping it."

"It looks like a pimp car, Cas."

"I don't know what that means. Michael intends to buy a Ferrari."

"That's a nice car. I'm jealous."

"Get one too."

"Nah, it's impractical for hunting. I'll probably get a pickup."

"Pickup what?"

"A truck, Cas."

Dean jumps in to the conversation then, switching back to house-hunting. "Sam, I was thinking we should move near Bobby. He's already established and Jody knows us so it seems like a good idea."

"Do you boys think your father would want that?" Mary asks. 

Sam meets Dean's gaze and realizes his brother has gone as pale as he feels. "I-I ah, couldn't really say for sure," Dean begins diplomatically. "Why, do you think he'll come back?"

"I would assume so." She looks between her sons. "What do you two know that I don't?"

"Dean, can I see you a minute?" Sam asks. 

Dean jumps up without question to follow him. "I kinda figured Dad wouldn't come back."

"Me too! Okay, well maybe we can pretend we're not dating guys."

"Did you watch the same scene I did with Michael and Jo? I don't think he'll go for 'sorry my dad is against gays, do you think you could pretend to be my friend?' And then what happens on our wedding day? We knock him out so he can't protest until it's done?"

"I don't know! But we have to do something! We can't just tell Dad! Let's ask Bobby," Sam suggests. 

Dean moves over to the table where they're sitting. "Bobby, we need your help."

"How unusual," Crowley drawls. 

"Shut up, Fergus," Dean snaps. "Bobby, can we go somewhere or-"

"Dean, anything you have to say to me you can say in front of them."

"It's Dad," Sam jumps in before Dean can argue. "We think he's coming back."

"You idjits just realized this?"

"Bobby! Dad doesn't exactly like...men like Sammy and I."

"Hunters? Angel vessels?"

"NO! A...you know..."

"I have no idea."

"You tell him, Sammy."

"Gay men," Sam whispers. "Dad doesn't like gay men."

"Well f**k him."

"Bobby!" Sam and Dean exclaim in scandalous union. 

"You two idjits listen to me. If your father can't accept the two of you, then you just leave him to his stubborn stupidity. The two of you are grown men who have accomplished things your father only dreamed of, and if the worst thing anyone can say about you is that you married a man, you're doing d**m well. And if your father can't accept that, he's dumber than I thought."

"I started the apocalypse," Sam reminds him. 

"And you threw yourself into hell to stop it."

"If it comes down to it, Bobby or I will walk you down the aisle if your father won't," volunteers Crowley. 

Dean stares at Crowley for a while, not saying anything. 

"Squirrel? You alright?"

Dean sucks in a deep breath. "Thank you." A pause, then, "I'm leaving before this becomes a chick-flick." He walks away without a backward glance. 

"Excuse him, he's a unfeeling b*****d," Sam tells Crowley. "Thank you though. From both of us."

"Let us know. We'd gladly walk you down that aisle, he's right," Bobby says. "Although I reserve the right to give John a kick in the teeth if he's being stupid."

"I won't stop you," Sam promises.


	4. Demons Descend

Sam crept out to the Impala after stealing the keys from Dean with no small amount of trepidation. He pulls the demon knife out of the trunk guiltily, Michael's reminder of 'no fighting!' flashing in his head. 'Well, sorry Michael. I don't intend to start the fight, but if they start one I intend to be able to defend myself.'

 

"Whatcha doing?"

 

Sam nearly jumps out of his skin, slamming the Impala's hood and turning to lie to Gabriel. "Nothing."

 

Gabriel reaches over, rucking up Sam's shirt and stealing Ruby's knife in one swift move. "You little rebel. I knew you were perfect for me, but this is too much."

 

"Give it back," Sam requests evenly.

 

Gabriel hands it back without argument, still laughing. "Perfect," he repeats. "Come back inside, little rebel."

 

"Where's Lucifer?" Sam asks curiously, noting that the tall brooding archangel isn't with his brother. 

 

"Why, do you miss him?"

 

"Not really, I was just curious."

 

This is absolutely the wrong thing to say to a trickster, especially one that goes by the name of Gabriel. They hardly make it within the front door of the lobby before Gabriel is screaming "Lucifer!" like he's about to be murdered. Actually, Sam has watched Gabriel be murdered several times, and he never once reached this volume. Gabriel yells again, this time complete with echoing reverberations throughout the entire hotel. Sam cringes and tries to slip out of the hotel again. Somehow Gabriel anticipates this and catches him, slinging an arm around his back and propelling him forward. 

 

Lucifer looks up from where he's standing over by the elevator, clearly deep in conversation with Michael and several other angels. "Gabriel, what is this?" he asks, heading over to them.

 

'Sam missed you!' flashing fireworks announce cheerily as Gabriel snaps his fingers.

 

Lucifer stares at them both like they have taken leave of their senses. 

 

"I just asked where you were," Sam defends himself, "and he overreacted."

 

"He typically does," Lucifer remarks dryly. He smiles at Sam, which makes him nervous. He knows several smiles of Lucifer's- 'I am evil,' 'I just killed a man whoopsie,' 'I just manipulated you,' and 'Hi, I'm marrying your son, Mary Winchester.' This smile is none of those, and it makes him nervous. "Come join us."

 

Sam shoots Gabriel a glare that promises retribution and obediently follows. "You too, Gabriel," Lucifer calls, reaching for his brother's hand. Sam smirks as Gabriel pouts dramatically, though he links his fingers through his brother's. 

 

Michael looks up as they approach, smiling politely at them. He says something to his angel companion, a young woman with bright blonde hair, so blonde it's nearly white, and she watches the group approach with interest. 

 

"Hello, Samuel," Michael says. 

 

"It's Sam, Michael. If you're going to be my brother-in-law, you should call me by the right name," he jokes.

 

The white-blonde angel laughs. "Hello, Sam. My name is Aurora. I can see already you are going to be a problem for me, aren't you?"

Sam gapes at her. It has been a very long time since he was greeted in such a manner by an angel-actually, come to think of it the last one was probably Cas with his "Sam Winchester, the boy with demon blood" comment.

"It's alright," she tells him gently, "I enjoy the challenge."

Michael smirks. "Aurora is the angel of peace, Sam."

Sam makes a sound in acknowledgement, finally understanding the angel's light teasing."What makes you think I'll be the problem?"

"I grew up with your future husbands. They are both trouble, which must mean you are, too," she informs him.

"Excuse you! I was a delight as a child!" Gabriel cuts in.

"You were as delightful as an angry honey-badger, Gabriel," retorts Aurora.

"And twice as much trouble with your pranks," Lucifer adds. 

"You've got your hands full, don't you honey?" Aurora asks Sam.

He shrugs helplessly. "Any advice?"

"Don't let them push you around."

Sam laughs outright at that. "There are only two people on Earth I have ever left push me around: my father, and even then I fought him frequently on it, and my brother. I don't take people's bullying well."

"He tried to stake me several times when I was a trickster," Gabriel adds, "one time stalking me for six months to accomplish it. Oh, and he sasses Lucifer."

"Brave," Aurora comments.

"Or incredibly stupid," Sam corrects. "Jury's out."

Aurora says something else but Sam isn't listening any more. His keen ears have heard a howl, and he turns slowly toward the sound, legs tensed to launch him toward it if he hears it again. A second howl, accompanied by a person's scream, is all it takes to have Sam hurtling out the door.

"Help!" the man screams, and Sam charges toward him.

"Andy!" he calls out, "Get inside! Get Dean to help you, I'll take care of this."

Adrenaline pumping cheerily through his body as though he's not about to die, Sam stares down the hellhound. Distantly, he notes that he can see the hellhound without the use of any kind of device to see it- a fact which would probably be way more important if not for the fact that he's about to die. The hellhound is snarling, glaring at Sam as Andy disappears inside the Elysian Fields hotel, but it doesn't move toward him.

Several other hellhounds join the first one, the group of them snarling as they stare Sam down. He puts his hand on the demon knife in his belt and pulls it out, knowing it's slim protection against the creatures. Still they wait, snarling and pacing, but not attacking.

A lone hellhound launches itself at Sam and he falls to the ground with the force of the onslaught. He scrambles for the demon knife and drives it into the thing's neck. It catches on an artery, or perhaps a ligament, it doesn't really matter because the knife is torn from Sam's hand and falls to the ground too far away for him to reach. 

'This is it, this is how I'll die,' Sam thinks. 'It's fairly ironic, for the past two days I've thought that it would probably be Lucifer who would eventually kill me, and instead it's going to be a hellhound. I hope Gabriel is prepared to deal with Lucifer on his own.' The thought inexplicably enrages him. 'Gabriel is most likely not prepared to deal with him. He died once before at his brother's hand, I need to be there so it doesn't happen a second time.'

He stares down the hellhound's skeletal body and has an insane idea. 'If I break off a piece of its rib, I wonder if that's sharp enough to pierce his heart?' The hellhound lashes out with sharp claws, ripping the tender skin of Sam's abdomen into bloody ribbons, but he doesn't feel it. He reaches out, dragging the hellhound closer to him through sheer force of will, and wraps his hand around the ribs. He forces the ribs to stretch, pushes all of his strength into separating the ribcage farther. There is a loud crack, and Sam laughs as the rib cracks off into his hand. Without a moment to spare, he thrusts the piece of broken rib into the hellhound's heart.

Blood begins pulsing everywhere, black sulfur-smelling foul blood that stings and burns where it lands on Sam. He pushes the hellhound off of him and it collapses to the ground with lifeless eyes. Sam snarls at the other hellhounds, lips pulled back to bare his teeth. To his surprise, they slink down to the ground, baring their necks for him.

Sam doesn't acknowledge their submission. He finds his demon knife and picks it up, sliding it back into his pants. Then he registers the mocking clapping, and he turns cautiously toward the sound, hand still on Ruby's knife.

"Well would you look at that? Little Sammy is all grown up now, and killing hellhounds with his bare hands!"

"Hello, Lilith," Sam returns evenly. "You should keep your mutts under control, or I'll be forced to take them off your hands."

"They recognize his soul, escaped from hell."

"Andy Gallagher went to hell? Why?"

"Thanks to Azazel, he had demon blood flowing through his veins just like you did. Between that and his mind-control ability, it wasn't difficult to make an argument for his soul to end up in our clutches."

"My goodness, you're so much better than I ever imagined!" Azazel exclaims. "Taking on a hellhound with your bare hands and winning," he shakes his head, "you must be awfully pleased, My Lord."

Sam turns, tracking Azazel's gaze and surprised to see both Gabriel and Lucifer followed him outside. Blood boiling, he snarks, "Thanks for all your help, guys."

"You had it under control," Lucifer says. 

Gabriel huffs. "Told you we should have helped." He walks forward until he's with Sam, then extends two fingers toward his arm. Heat travels up Sam's arm and down his abdomen, entire body thrumming as it knits itself back together under Gabriel's magic. He didn't realize how much pain he was in until it's gone, banished by Gabriel's healing. 

"Thanks," Sam mutters. 

Gabriel's hand comes up to trace Sam's jawline, fingers dancing tenderly across it for a brief moment before his lips meet Sam's. Sam gasps, somehow he hadn't expected this. Gabriel kisses a bit harder, stubble scratching on Sam's cheek, and Sam's hands fly up to tangle themselves in Gabriel's hair. The outside world falls away, nothing exists but Gabriel. He kisses back harder, hands forcing Gabriel to stay in place, but he doesn't seem to mind. His hands wrap around Sam's waist, tugging him closer so there's no space between their bodies. It's strange, kissing Gabriel like this. His lips are sugary sweet, obviously the result of a snack he had just eaten. For Sam's first kiss with a male, it's not bad; and it's nice that Gabriel is keeping it chaste.

The moment is broken as Dean screams, "Ew!" Sam's brain loses control of his hands, and they fly of their own accord to Gabriel's shoulders to push him away. "Could you be any more gay?" Dean gripes. 

"At least I kept my tongue in my own mouth, unlike you and Cas yesterday."

"Shut it, B***h. Andy told us there was a hellhound, you need help?"

"No, I killed it," Sam tells his brother. "I took its rib and drove it into its heart."

Dean scrunches his nose. "And you know that because?"

Sam takes a deep breath. "Because I could see it."

Dean stares at him, then turns and walks to the Impala. He roots in the trunk without a word, reemerging with a bottle full of holy water. He uncaps it and casually dumps it over his brother's head. "Well, you're not possessed by a demon," he announces, throwing the bottle back into the trunk and throwing his arms up in the air in celebration as it actually lands in the trunk. "So what are you, then?"

"He's transitioning," Ruby replies.

Dean stares at Sam speculatively for a moment. "Dude, are you turning into a chick?"

"No Dean, not that kind of transition. He's not changing from male to female, he's changing from human to, well, I'm not sure what, exactly. Something more."

"And why is he changing into the mystical 'something more?'"

"That's probably my fault," volunteers Lucifer.

"Not even surprised," Sam mumbles, and Gabriel snickers quietly.

"As a potential ruler of hell, Sam needs to be a bit different than what he is now. He needs to be able to see the hellhounds, so he can. His body will keep changing as it tries to keep up with the demands, so you'll change into something a bit different. It's the same reason why Dean will soon be growing wings."

"I'm sorry, Dean will be doing what now?" Dean demands.

"What did my father tell you two about this whole marriage scheme of his?"

"Just that we'd be getting married," Sam answers.

"Back to me growing wings," Dean cuts in impatiently.

"As a ruler of heaven, it would be prudent for you to have a way to get to heaven. So, you're going to grow wings. I'm surprised you haven't felt them already. They'll grow under your skin first, then Michael and Castiel will cut them out. It'll hurt, but I imagine you'll be fine, you're a Winchester after all. Then we'll teach you to fly."

"I DON'T LIKE HEIGHTS!"

"You just found out you will literally be sprouting wings and that's your first concern?" Sam questions his brother.

Then he turns to Lucifer, "Wait. I'm not going to sprout horns, am I?"

"No."

"Wonderful."

Gabriel cocks his head to the side, listening intently. "We have to go back inside, they're looking for us."

Sam gestures to the demons. "After you three."

"What a gentleman," Lilith purrs.

Sam smirks. "No, I'd just rather not take a knife to the back courtesy of one of you three. I've done that before thanks to Azazel and Jake, and I'd rather not do it again."

"Even we have enough sense not to attack you. Our Lord would be displeased," Azazel remarks, but he loops his arms through Ruby's and Lilith's and sets off for the door. 

"Azazel, one other thing," calls Sam, and he waits until the demon is facing him before he says, "stay away from my mother."

His response is a mocking laugh.

Castiel is waiting for them in the doorway of the hotel, blocking the demons' entrance. Sam can hear loud yelling spilling out into the parking lot. "Sam, stay out here for a minute. You too, Dean."

"What's going on, Cas?"

"A man arrived who is being vocal in his desire to kill you, Sam. He rants loudly about demon blood. Your mother and Bobby are trying to calm him."

Sam growls and stalks past Cas, shoving the three demons out of the way. In the lobby, Gordon Walker is screaming for Sam's death. "He's a monster!" Gordon argues. "He drinks demon blood, just let me put him down."

"Hey!" Sam shouts, cutting off whatever angry retort his mother was going to give. He stalks forward until he's toe to toe with the other hunter. "You want to kill me?" He spreads his arms wide. "Go ahead."

"If you kill my son, Gordon Walker, you can expect not to live very long."

Sam winces slightly and turns toward his father, who had obviously entered the hotel behind him and Dean. "Winchester family reunion. Yay," he hears Gabriel intone sarcastically.

"Your boy's a monster, John, and killing monsters is what I do for a living."

"My son is no monster."

"There's demon blood flowing through his veins, pumping through his monstrous heart right this second."

Lucifer shakes his head in denial. "Sam was cured of the demon blood and its subsequent addiction years ago. His blood is normal human blood."

"Who are you?" Gordon demands furiously.

Lucifer leers. "Lucifer."

Gordon's response is instantaneous- he reaches into his pocket and hurls holy water at him. Lucifer growls, advancing toward Gordon until Sam grabs the back of his shirt as he passes and physically yanks him up short. 

"Release me, Sam. No one may express a desire to kill my husband and live."

"No way. You're not killing Gordon, I won't let you."

Lucifer lunges forward in an attempt to break Sam's grip and attack. Miraculously Sam restrains him. He's so distracted with Lucifer he misses Gabriel stalking by then both with fire in his eyes. Fortunately Cas is more alert and grabs Gabriel, twisting both arms behind his back to hold him. 

"Stop it, both of you stop!" Sam orders. "It's no big deal."

"He wants to kill you! That's kinda a big deal!" Gabriel argues furiously, eyes glowing white. 

"So did both of you. And my dad. And my brother. He can just join the club."

Lucifer turns a terrifying glare on Gordon. "So be it. You are only living because my husband, the same man you would name a monster, wishes it. If you cross us again, you will not be allowed to live if you express a desire to kill him again, whether he begs for your life or not. I will not be this merciful a second time."

Gordon stares down Lucifer but clearly recognizes the man's power because he pushes past John and exits the hotel. 

"Thank you," Sam whispers quietly, and Lucifer nods. 

"So," John begins, "you're Lucifer."

"Dad," Dean attempts to interrupt.

At the same time, Mary reprimands, "John."

"Yes sir," Lucifer answers, actually respectful for once.

"You mistreat my son and I'll kill you myself, you understand me? I don't care if you're the devil or not."

"Yes sir."

"You too," he tells Gabriel. 

"Right back atcha."

John does a double take. "What did you just say to me?"

"That I hope we understand each other. You will kill me if I hurt your son, and I will kill you if you hurt him."

"You're gutsy, boy. I like you."

Gabriel smiles. "Thank you."

John walks by, smacking Cas on the back. "Good to see you again, Castiel. Sam, when you get a moment I'd like to speak to you and your brother in private. Tomorrow, though, not today. I have something important to do now." He approaches Mary, holding one hand out to her. "Will you come with me? I would like to tell you several things."

Mary smiles and takes his hand. The two go into the elevator, heads bent together. The door closes and Sam spends several seconds watching the closed door, mentally replaying the scene of his parents together for the first time in years.

Dean frowns. "When did you meet my dad, Cas?"

"In heaven, before I pulled you from hell. He knew we were going and begged me to get you out."

"Strange," Dean mutters, and Sam wholeheartedly agrees.


	5. Adam

Sam spent a restless night jogging the blocks around the hotel then collapsing beneath the stairwell. It wasn't comfortable, which is probably why he's awake entirely too early. 

He gets up and goes outside to walk. There's nothing nearby, no stores to mark his path, so he sticks close to the hotel for now, walking circles around it three times before getting bored and texting Dean to borrow the keys to Baby. 

Dean hands off the keys with no questions, still rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He's shirtless, and Sam decides to pretend he doesn't see the hickey on Dean's neck. It's not his business. 

Once he has Baby he takes her to the nearest convenience store. He fills her with gas because he's feeling nice and buys himself a paper. Might as well, see if there's a new job for him and Dean, since he's not going into his hotel room for his laptop. That is currently a lost cause. 

He dreads heading back to the hotel, but begrudgingly does it anyway. It's a simple matter to hide beneath the stairwell with his paper, spreading it out curiously. 

Three hours later he is cursing his luck. There is nothing signifying a case anywhere in the nearby town. No disappearances, strange murders, electrical outings, weather disturbances. Zero, zip, zilch. 

He realizes it's breakfast time, so he curiously checks the dining room. If his room is empty...

His room clearly is, because Gabriel is sitting next to Lucifer in the dining room, cuddled into his side. Perfect. 

Sam's room is still as fancy as it was. With Gabriel staying there he had supposed it would be changed into something garish, like that eyesore from the TV show 'Supernatural' he created. But it's still the same. 

His laptop is sitting on the bedside table, right where he left it. He grabs it, overjoyed. Then he decides to be smart and find some extra blankets and pillows. A quick search tells him they're in the closet, so he grabs a thick blanket and two pillows. 

It's hard to carry everything, so he decides to encase his laptop in pillows and wrap the blanket around it. 

He hears a key fumbling in the lock and stops. 'No no no' he thinks frantically. 'Hide!'

With no time to spare, he drops to the plush carpet and rolls beneath the bed, clutching the laptop and blanket combo to him. 

"That's not it, I'm just saying I think you should be the one to look for him. He's hiding from me, not you," Lucifer is saying. 

"I don't think he's hiding," answers Gabriel as he heads into the bathroom. 

"Then where was he last night? He wasn't working a case, I asked around to make sure. So where was he and what was he doing?"

"Maybe he forgot," he garbles around a mouth full of toothpaste. 

"How do you forget to sleep?"

Gabriel spits before answering. "It doesn't seem Dean sleeps much either. Didn't you hear him and Michael last night?"

"Yes I did, and please don't remind me of it. But that's not the point, the point is that Sam keeps rejecting me."

"Just look at the proof, Luci. No matter what it seems like, he is accepting you. He can see hellhounds, and we both know he wouldn't be able to do that if he wasn't accepting you."

Sam stares at the blanket as his heart beats faster in shock. He hopes desperately that they will keep talking about this, but Lucifer doesn't say anything else about it. Instead he suggests, "You should go find him, Gabriel. We need to try to spend time with him, though it would certainly be easier if he wasn't as stubborn."

Gabriel chuckles, leaving the bathroom. "You love his stubbornness." He approaches the bed and Sam hears their lips touch. He pantomimes gagging. 

"Go!' Lucifer chides, with a sound like a light slap falling on fabric. 

"Ah ah, nothing like that without Sam. No sex, we agreed."

"Gabriel. A slap to the butt is nowhere near the same plane as sex."

"It will be if you leave me in charge."

"As nice as that sounds, Sam needs to be our priority."

"I'll go find him." 

The door shuts and Sam can hardly bite back a yelp as Lucifer collapses back onto the bed, causing metal springs to dig into his back. Great, now he's stuck here. 

First he develops a crick in his neck, then his right arm goes numb. His nose begins to itch. Right as he's about to sneeze the door opens to readmit Gabriel. 

"I didn't find him," Gabriel reports. "He's not with his parents or his brother. Dean said he gave him the keys this morning when he asked, but he got the keys back. That was at three this morning. No one has seen him since. I found a copy of this morning's paper under the stairwell. Problem is, there's nothing supernatural going on, and I had Bobby Singer check too."

"So he's been kidnapped?"

"Not necessarily. Dean said he goes on long walks sometimes."

"Must be an awfully long walk, if it takes twelve hours!"

"Lilith wants to know if she should send out the hellhounds."

"No! He has to choose us, Gabriel! Forcing him is useless."

"I know, Lucifer, I know. I'm just telling you it's an option. Not a good one, not one we should even consider, but she offered. The demons are concerned too."

"Where is he? This concerns me. If not for the fact that I know he's hiding from me I'd go find him myself."

"I don't know."

"We need him to make this marriage work, Gabriel. Already I've seen changes in Michael, and we both know they are because of Dean. In order for this to work we have to undergo the same changes, but he has to be willing to work with us, and he's not."

"Maybe you should apologize again."

"I already did, he didn't listen."

"Try again. Did you find anything new last night?"

"No, not really. Some ideas I've already had, but...you can't marry someone if they don't want to be with you."

"But in his heart of hearts he does want to be with you," argues Gabriel, tone uncharacteristically serious.

"What does that matter? He's so repressed he won't admit it even to himself! He flees from me any time I get near him!" Lucifer yells. His tone gentles then, making Sam wonder if Gabriel flinched. "I will not force him into a marriage, Gabriel. You should be made aware of that now. I've forced him into enough other things, I will not make him do this too. I will call off our wedding before I allow him to destroy his life by marrying me."

'No!' Sam thinks. 'You can't, you idiot, we're doing this for world peace!'

"I will not argue with you on this, brother."

'Idiot!' Sam fumes mentally. 

"Come with me to look for him. I'll bet we can find him together," Gabriel offers. 

The brothers leave together, shutting the door firmly behind them. Sam rolls out from beneath the bed, brushing dust off his front. He grabs his blanket combo and dusts that off too. He hides that in the stairwell before setting off to find a new place to sleep tonight. 

"Sam!" someone shouts, and he turns to see Ruby barreling down on him. "Where have you been? Your husbands have been looking all over for you!" Without waiting for a response she grabs his arm and begins tugging him toward the lobby doors. "I'll announce you."

Sam wrenches himself free. "I'll take myself, thank you," he tells her curtly. He strides out the door, flinging it open with both hands. "Announcing Sam Winchester," he yells. 

"Sam!" Gabriel hustles toward him, launching himself into his arms. Sam feels guilty as Gabriel hugs him tightly, both arms wrapped around his back. "Where were you?"

"Out for a walk. Couldn't sleep, so I just walked around for a while. Went to get a newspaper and look for jobs, the usual." He conveniently forgets to mention that he's been under the bed for probably the past four hours. 

"We were worried!"

"Sorry."

Lucifer walks by, on a phone. "We found him. I don't know. He says he was out for a walk. Ok." He clicks the phone off with an aggravated tap. "Your brother is coming," he reports. "He's upset."

Sure enough, Dean pulls up in Baby a few minutes later and goes off on Sam. For the most part Sam tunes him out, but he nods along and looks remorseful. Dean's more upset than this warrants, and Sam can't figure out why. He looks back and forth between his brother and Cas and Michael but finds no clues there. Dean leaves in a huff and Sam still hasn't figured out what the problem is. 

They enter the lobby behind Dean, Sam practically carrying Gabriel. There is a loud grunt behind them and Sam sees Lucifer crumple to the ground. 

Everything slows. Lucifer drops like a rock, Michael turns with blazing fire in his eyes, and Sam hears Adam- brave, stupid Adam, newly resurrected from hell just to die again because he beaned Lucifer across the back of the head with a baseball bat- yelp, "Sam, run!"

Sam follows directions. He sprints into the line of fire, planting himself in front of Adam, grabbing Michael's wrist as his eyes flame out. Just when Sam is certain he's going to be blind the rest of his life, Michael dials back his angel power. It's obviously taking great restraint on his part, but he does it just the same. 

A deep gasp of breath disrupts them. Lucifer's body jerks violently once, then he lurches to his feet. "Aye caramba, mi cabeza," he mutters. "What happened?"

"My vessel attacked you," spits Michael. 

"Rude, Dean."

"Not Dean, Adam."

"Adam?" Lucifer echoes, sneering. "Half-Winchester, half-monkey Adam?" He advances slowly. "I'm going to kill you, little boy."

Sam plants his feet, balls his fists, and raises his head so he's meeting Lucifer's gaze. "No, you won't."

"Who's going to stop me? You?"

"Yes. Because I'll give you whatever you want if you walk away from this." His jaw clenches and unclenches minutely. "Name your price."

"Anything?"

"Anything," Sam promises. His heart is racing, but for his brother he'll do it. After all, he owes him big time for abandoning him in hell.

"Anything at all? If I told you I wanted you upstairs in my bed naked-"

"I'd do it."

Lucifer's mouth twists into an angry sneer. "You're so stupid sometimes. You have no idea what I want, do you? Fine. Anyone who touches Adam Milligan faces the wrath of me and Michael both. Everyone understand me?" he snarls, glaring around the room for a moment. "And you," he growls, advancing on Sam, "be careful what you promise." He spins on his heel and stalks away without a backward glance.

"I told you to run," Adam says. 

"You're welcome," Sam snaps, watching Lucifer. "Gabriel? What's with your brother?"

Gabriel snorts. "If you want to know, you go talk to him."

Sam deliberates, but decides ultimately to let him go.

"Adam?" Sam hears his father ask. Both boys turn together, watching John cautiously now. "I didn't expect to see you here, I did everything possible to keep you away from this life." 

Adam shrugs. "Sorry I turned up to ruin your life, Dad. Maybe you should've considered the fact that, if you left, something would come after us. Mom and I got killed by a ghoul. Then I was resurrected by an angel because your oldest didn't want to be an angel vessel for the Apocalypse, so I got that job instead. And when your other son decided he needed to go to hell, I got to go with. But by all means, wonderful job keeping me out of this life."

"John, who's this?" Mary asks quietly.

"His dirty little secret," Adam answers for him. "I'm Adam Milligan, son of Kate Milligan and John Winchester. Sam and Dean are my half-brothers. Who are you?"

"Mary Winchester. John's wife."

Adam's mouth drops open. "I thought you were dead!"

"I was. Same as you were, apparently. We've all been resurrected to watch my sons get married."

Adam nods, turning back to Sam. "Speaking of which, I heard you agreed to marry Lucifer. What on Earth is wrong with you? Did you not get tortured enough in the Cage, you need to sign up for it for the rest of your natural born life? And why are you marrying Gabriel? Isn't that the jerk that you told me killed Dean 103 times?"

"Gabriel's not so bad. And for world peace."

"Dude, let the world burn. They don't appreciate the sacrifices you make, so why do you keep making them?"

"Because somebody has to. This world is broken but someone needs to care enough to save it. And if the only people that care enough are Dean and I...then we need to make the sacrifices other people won't."

"Who's Dean marrying?"

"Cas-"

"Oh good I like him," Adam interrupts. "See, why couldn't you marry someone like him? He was decent, fought Dean when he needed to, when Dean was being stupid, and otherwise he stood by and supported him. Why don't you marry someone decent like him?"

"He's also marrying Michael," Sam finishes, electing to ignore Adam's statement.

"Michael? The angel I had inside of me, Michael? Brother to Lucifer, that helped torture us both, that Michael?"

"The one and only."

"You did warn him about this, right? Marrying Michael would probably be worse than marrying Lucifer!"

"I'm standing right here," Dean says, "and yes I considered that. But Michael is different now. He's...kinder."

"He certainly looked it, a few minutes ago when he nearly killed me!"

Dean's jaw clenches. "Don't talk about things you don't understand. You have no idea what this world is like." He sighs. "For the record, I am very happy to be marrying both Castiel and Michael. Michael didn't attack you unprovoked, you attacked his little brother first. If you did that to Sammy I would kill you, for Michael it's the same thing. He stopped when Sam forced him to, thought it over and walked away. We all know he didn't have to walk away. He is different now, I believe that."

"For how long?" Adam asks glumly.

"Forever. That's all Sam and I have left, an eternity with our angels. And that's how long Michael will continue to be different. He promised."

"He lies the same way his younger brother does," Adam answers. "I don't want to see you hurt."

"You won't."

Adam sighs. "Fine. I won't say anything else."

"Thank you. Come on, we're going to eat now that Sam is finally here. Sam, you and Adam in the backseat, you too Dad. Mom's sitting up front."

"Oh, we're going out?" Sam questions, grunting as Adam crawls over him and accidentally elbows him in the gut. 

"Mom wanted pizza," Dean explains as he backs out of the parking spot. Sam nods and turn toward the window, slouching against it as he drift to sleep. In what is entirely too short a time, they've arrived at the pizza joint and Dean is waking him. 

"Dude, when was the last time you slept?" Adam asks curiously. 

Sam shrugs. "Since the day before we left for this crazy wedding venture." He thinks it over. "No, wait. I slept decently that first night with Gabriel, too."

"I thought I told you no sex in my Baby!" Dean exclaims. 

Sam rolls his eyes. "We didn't. I've still been avoiding him because suddenly he's best buds with Lucifer, so we haven't had a chance to do that. Not like you and Michael and Cas."

"We have not!"

Cue a b****face. "Sure you haven't."

"If you must know, Sam, Cas hasn't slept with anybody, ever. So we figured-we being Michael and I- what the h**l, we can wait until our wedding night."

There's no good response for that. "Oh. But you had a mark on your neck last night."

A blush. "Michael is possessive."

"If you two are done fighting, we'd like to eat," Mary calls from over by the door. Dean and Sam obediently go to the entrance. 

"What kind of pizza does everyone want?"

"Meat lovers," John and Adam both agree. 

"Veggie," Sam throws in. 

"Mm, cheese please."

Dean leads the way to the front counter. "Hi. Can I get one cheese pizza, a meat lovers, and a veggie for my gay a*s little brother?" Sam, standing beside him, clomps on his toes hard enough to hurt and glares daggers at Dean until he looks at him, then shoots a quick glance at John, who hasn't responded to the reminder of his sons' sexuality. "Right," Dean says, following his gaze. "Sorry, Sammy."

Dean pays the woman at the counter and leads the way to a booth. He allows John and Mary to sit next to each other on one side, with Adam, then Sam, then himself. "We've got to get it when it's ready," he reports. 

The family lapses into awkward silence. Sam fiddles with the straw wrapper, trying to see if he can origami a demon trap. He's failed three times when Mary clears her throat. "So Adam, tell me about yourself."

"Why should you care? I'm not your son."

Dean pulls out a fork and levels it at Adam. "Don't you talk to my mother like that."

"I'm not trying to be rude, it's a serious question. I shouldn't be here!"

"No, you shouldn't. But here you are, so quit whining and buck up. Be a man."

"Sorry, Mary," Adam mutters. The woman at the counter interrupts by calling out their order. Sam leaps up to grab it.

"You guys all right over there?" The girl asks quietly. 

"As alright as we can be," he answers honestly. "Haven't seen everyone for a while, it's a little awkward. Only reunited for a wedding."

"I know how that goes. Listen, if you need someone to talk to, I wrote down my number. Give me a call." She hands him a napkin with ten digits written in bright pink pen.

Sam slides it back, folding it so the numbers are hidden. "Sorry, my boyfriend will kill me if I take your number."

"Oh. So which one is yours- sarcastic a**hole or quiet and mysterious?" she asks, looking over at the table. 

"My brothers," answers Sam. "Mr. Sarcastic is getting married soon, but I think Quiet and Mysterious is single, if that's your thing."

"Thanks for the tip," she replies, looking speculatively at Adam. 

Sam grabs the pizza and heads back to the booth. "Sammy, I hope you're done flirting with that chick," Dean says as soon as he gets close. 

"She's not into me, she's into Adam. Here, give me your plate Mom, I'll get your pizza." He throws a slice on it and passes it back. Dean gets three slices of meat lovers, Adam and John two apiece. Sam pulls the entire veggie lovers close and begins eating straight from the pan. 

"Sam Winchester, I know I raised you better than that."

"Yes sir," agrees Sam, grabbing a plate to throw pizza on it for himself. He doesn't miss Dean's snort, but he prays his Dad does. 

He doesn't. John narrows his eyes at Dean. "You got a problem?"

"Come on, Dad. I did most of the raising Sammy job, and we both know it."

"I was hunting!"

"And you left it consume you."

John defends himself with, "I needed revenge."

"Sammy and I needed a father, ever think of that? And you didn't even get revenge yourself, Sammy and I had to do that too! I mean, at least Adam got taken to a ball game every year for his birthday. Is that why you did it- Sammy and I were hunters so we never got to see you as anything other than a hunter? You could have warned us, by the way. 'Hey kids, I have another son.' Instead we get a phone call from some kid we never knew existed who surprise! Just so happened to be our half-brother! Just in case it wasn't enough that I had to constantly pray Sammy didn't go berserk and I'd have to kill him, let's just add that too!"

"Why would you have to kill Sammy?" Mary interrupts his tirade to ask. 

"Because Dad found out he had demon blood. That's what you walked in on, that's why you died."

"Well Sam was a baby! It's not like he asked to have the demon blood! John, tell me you didn't tell your son to kill his brother."

John says nothing for what feels like an eternity. "Yes, I did. I was so wrong for that, Sam, and I hope you know that I know that. I was afraid of what you could be, so afraid I missed who you were. And Dean, I'm sorry. You didn't deserve that either. I was a s**t father."

Dean nods vigorously. "You're dead to me. I don't give a f**k about you anymore."

John looks defeated. "I understand. But I am here to stay. I'll show you in time how sorry I am, even if it takes the rest of my life."

"I can almost guarantee it will," Dean states. He looks around brightly with false cheer. "Well this was fun! I'm going to leave, I'm not very hungry any more." He shoved the pizza that he took one bite out of to the side, hands Sam the keys to the Impala, and walks out of the pizzeria without another word. 

Sam watches him go around the side of the alley. He pulls out his cellphone. "Honestly, Cas, if you don't pick up this phone-" he grumps. 

"Hello, Sam." Sam jumps, turning to see his angel 'brother' sitting where Dean had just sat. 

"Dean's outside. He's upset," Sam reports. 

Cas nods. "I will take care of him. Thank you, Sam." He pop's outside with Dean, and wraps his arm around him. Dean restaurant his head on Cas' shoulder, and Cas reaches up to touch his forehead. Cas and Dean vanish instantly.

Sam turns to watch the employee come out from the kitchen. "You all need anything?" 

Sam shakes his head no. He pushes his own pizza to the side and goes out to start the car. "I'm done. You all come out when you're ready."

He climbs into the driver's seat and leans back, spacing out until his family climbs into the Impala with him. Mary climbs into the front again, and John and Adam in the back seat. It is silent the entire way back to the stupid motel. Once Sam parks, Mary and Adam scramble out like they've been lit on fire. John doesn't move.

Sam twists to look at him. "Get out."

"I'd like to talk to you."

"You are. Now get out."

"Five minutes, Sam. That's all I need."

"We don't always get what we need," Sam retorts bitterly.

"You think I don't know that? You think I missed how terrible of a father I was to the both of you boys?"

"You didn't care! You abandoned us! You wanted me dead!"

"I know." John knots his fingers through his hair. "God, boy. I know how terrible I was. You know when it hit me?"

Sam shrugs. "Fifteen minutes ago when the son who blindly worshiped you walked out of your life?" he snarls.

"No, I knew long before that. When that d**n demon possessed me, that's when I realized it. They told me you've been possessed by Lucifer, so I know you got an idea of what I'm talking about. You talk, in your own head, even if you don't want to. And all he wanted to talk about was you. Sam, Sam, Sam. He had plans for you; you were to be Lucifer's vessel. And he was in awe of you. You were everything he wanted, even back then. He was pinning all of his hopes on you.

When I went to hell for your brother, to bring him back to life, I did it for a reason. I knew then and there what your future was gonna be, and I didn't want you to have to deal with it. I figured if I warned Dean he could kill you, and it would work better than having you be a devil, the literal devil, walking around wearing the face of my son with you trapped behind him. So I went to hell. And even then, Azazel would come to talk about you. You were strong and growing stronger. He was impressed. And I realized, this d**n demon, the same one that killed your mother, was prouder of my son than I had ever been. It broke something in me, Sammy. 

When you two stopped those demons and killed Azazel, I knew that you were going to be a different man than the monster I had begun to believe you would be. I went to heaven then and watched over you from there.

And of course, what do the angels want to talk about? My sons- the ones I ignored for years and years. The ones that in my head never moved past that young kid stage; that were now men. Strong men. Dean was to be Michael's vessel-"

"You must have been so proud," Sam cuts in, "knowing that there was one kid of yours that could host an archangel."

"I don't care about that," John tells him passionately. Sam snorts skeptically. "Once upon a time, I would've cared. But not now. They got so pissed at the two of you, Sammy, and you both just kept saying no. You were told there was only one way to fix the world- let the Apocalypse happen and the world gets destroyed- yet you and Dean found a different way. I am so proud of you for that."

"I drank demon blood. I unlocked the Cage and released Lucifer. The Apocalypse was solely my fault. And I f**ked a demon."

"I know. I watched you from heaven. Well, I didn't watch the last part, but you know what I mean. I'm still proud of you. I don't expect anything from you, not forgiveness, not a spot in the family, I just wanted to tell you I am proud of you."

John gets out of the car, closing the door softly behind him. Sam slouches in the seat, tired and overwhelmed. His father had never talked like that before and Sam doesn't know how to respond to it now. 

When he finally does get out of the car, he hardly notices Rowena has arrived. He just calls Gabriel over to let him know he's heading up to their room, and blankly accepts the kiss he gets on the cheek. Everything is shutting down, and he barely makes it to the bed before he collapses.


	6. I Love You

When Sam wakes up it takes him a moment to remember where he is. He vaguely remembers kissing Gabriel then going upstairs to the shared hotel room. He knows he didn't want to be in this room but with the light of day he can't remember why. There's nothing strange about being here. 

"Good morning," a soft voice whispers. Gabriel is lying facing him, an arm wrapped around Sam's back. He slowly retracts it with a quick grimace. "Sorry. I get grabby when I sleep with people."

Sam smiles. "I don't mind." He reaches out tenderly, tracing Gabriel's features with his fingers. Gabriel's honey eyelashes flutter shut as Sam drifts his fingers across them. "I never thought I would have this," Sam whispers to himself. 

"Have what?" Gabriel inquires.

Sam shrugs. "You. Love. All of it. I thought that died in a fire a long time ago."

Gabriel grins at him. "Life has a strange way of surprising us, sometimes. Or perhaps I should say my father has a strange way of surprising us."

"He does," Sam acknowledges. His fingers leave Gabriel's face to thread through his hair, tugging lightly as he drags his fingers through it.

"Careful," Gabriel teases, "anything you do to my hair I will do to yours."

"Promise?" Before Gabriel can answer Sam is dragging him a bit closer until their bodies are slotted together. His fingers wind in his hair again, tipping his chin up so he has complete access to his face. He's not sure which of them surges forward, but suddenly Gabriel's lips are on his. Gabriel kisses him sweetly, clearly intending to pull away after a moment, but Sam yanks him back and takes advantage of Gabriel's gasp to slide his tongue into his mouth. He chases the sugary-sweetness of syrup, groaning as Gabriel's fingers now twist in his own hair and yank gently.

The bed dips as more weight gets added to it, and Sam flips Gabriel over him, tossing him onto the bed behind him as wild eyes assess this new threat. Lucifer freezes, hands extended as he reaches for the shirt thrown on the pillow under Sam's head. "Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt."

Sam takes this moment to assess him. Strange as it may seem to him, he hasn't seen the devil shirtless. Curious hands dart out to trace abdominal muscles, which quiver under his questing fingers. Lucifer sucks in a breath but doesn't move to stop him, which Sam takes as license to continue. He maps Lucifer's hip bones- sharp under his skin, pressing into Sam's hand like they want to cut him- and ghosts his fingers up his sides. This requires him to get up from the bed, and he jumps up, entirely too close. Lucifer's muscles shudder a moment as he goes to step back but aborts the process. "It's alright," Sam whispers soothingly, "you don't have to be afraid of me. I won't hurt you." 

Lucifer says nothing to acknowledge this, so Sam makes eye contact. "Your eyes are beautiful. I never noticed before." He tips his head, staring at him as he says, "I love you."

Sam knows for sure he hasn't said this yet, but considering he is marrying this man it's a good idea to let him know. The response is what throws him. Lucifer's mouth drops, and he hears a sharp intake of breath from Gabriel behind him. "What?" Lucifer stutters.

"I love you," Sam repeats. He moves in to kiss Lucifer, but the devil shoves him back.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Nothing! Why can't I tell you I love you?"

"Because you don't!"

"Don't tell me how I feel! I do love you!"

"Sam," Gabriel interjects, "how do you feel?"

"I just told my soon-to-be husband that I love him and he won't say it back, how do you think I feel?"

"Not that. Before you saw me, did you feel strange?"

Sam shrugs. "I didn't want to be here, but I don't know why. I think it had something to do with Lucifer, but that doesn't make sense because I love him."

"Stop saying that!" Lucifer yells. 

Sam stamps his foot childishly. "No! It's true, and I'm not going to stop repeating it until you believe me!"

Gabriel and Lucifer exchange a glance. "I think he's cursed. Didn't that one demon witch show up last night? We can have her check him over."

Lucifer nods. He opens the door and lets Gabriel out first, then raises an eyebrow challengingly at Sam. "Go, and don't you dare say anything. And don't touch me, either."

Sam pouts but does as he's told. He walks out into the hall and nearly walks into his brother, who is just coming out of his own room with Michael and Cas in tow. 

"Morning, Dean!" Sam yells, hugging his brother. "Morning, Cas! Morning, Michael!" He hugs the other two, who blink at him confusedly. 

"What is wrong with your husband, brother?" Michael asks. 

"Nothing is wrong! It's a bright sunshiney day and I am very happy!" Sam says before Lucifer or Gabriel can answer. 

"He woke up like this," Lucifer informs everyone. 

"What happened exactly?" Dean demands to know. 

Lucifer and Gabriel both wince. "He woke up and said something about how he didn't expect to experience love with me. Then we kissed. A lot. I didn't really think anything of it because I thought maybe he had time to think it over and decided he would try this whole relationship thing with me-us," Gabriel corrects automatically. "With us. Lucifer had been in the shower and he came out for his shirt, which Sam and I were laying on top of. He reached over to tug it free and Sam freaked for a second. He flipped me over him so he could protect me. And then he told Lucifer he loved him."

"And tried to kiss me," Lucifer adds.

Dean makes a face. "Gabriel, this isn't your idea of-"

"No, it's not, before you even finish that sentence. I'm honestly offended, Dean."

Dean holds up both hands in a placating manner. "Sorry, just had to check." He looks his brother over again. "Let's go downstairs and see if we can get Rowena or Ruby to look him over."

"Rowena," Lucifer votes automatically, "she doesn't have the same history with Sam that Ruby does." His lip curls into a sneer as he says that, leaving no doubt as to how he feels about their 'shared history.'

"Come on, Sam," Dean tells his brother. 

"No, I want a piggy back ride."

"Sammy, you're a moose, I can't carry you," Dean argues. 

"Not you. Lucifer." He holds his arms out like a child.

Lucifer smirks, reaching out to grab Sam and swinging him into his arms bridal style. Then he runs down the stairwell while Sam shrieks with laughter. "I said piggy back!"

Lucifer runs the entire length of the first floor while Sam throws his head back and screams with laughter. They run into the dining room together, and Gabriel magics the chair out for Lucifer to throw Sam into. "Still not a piggy back ride," Sam gasps, breathless, "but equally fun."

"Be gentle with the moose, Lucifer, you could break him," teases Crowley. 

Sam scoffs and says, "I think it will take a little bit more than that to break me."

"Rowena, I need to talk to you," Lucifer calls. "Sam's acting weird, can you see if he's been cursed?"

Rowena winces nearly imperceptibly, but Gabriel and Lucifer notice it. "What did you do?" Lucifer demands as his eyes begin to glow red.

"It's not going to harm him, I swear. You were the one who was complaining last night that he didn't want to be around you because he was too scared of you, so I gave you twenty-four hours with him being in love with you."

"You did what?" Lucifer questions in a clipped tone, advancing on Rowena who shrinks back in fear. 

Both of them have forgotten Sam, who jumps up and throws himself into Lucifer's arms. Only quick reflexes keep him off the ground. Sam doesn't seem to notice, putting a single finger against his fiance's lips. "Shhhh, you're scaring her. That's not nice."

Lucifer splutters but relinquishes the idea of torturing Rowena for the much better idea of being with Sam. "Here, come sit with me and Gabriel." Gabriel snaps his fingers and the tiny chair jumps apart so there's space for three men now- even one that's Sam-sized. 

"Breakfast time, yay!" Sam announces. "Do you know what would be good today? A smoothie. With kale and spinach and strawberries. Oh! And bananas!" Gabriel leans back so the arm that was around Sam is hanging back over the chair and snaps his fingers so Sam doesn't see. Lucifer winks at him, making Gabriel grin. 

"I heard they were going to have smoothies today, go look," Gabriel says, boosting Sam off his lap and toward the food. He gives him a slap to his butt, causing Sam to make an indignant face. His mouth opens and closes wordlessly, then scurries away up to the food. 

"Smoothies!" Sam exults. 

He's back in a few minutes, carrying a green smoothie. Gabriel leaves next, with a gesture to Lucifer to say 'talk to him!'

"So Sam, how do you like the smoothie?"

Sam takes a long drag. "Yummy! Do you want some?"

"Oh! Um...no thanks." Silence, broken only by Sam's slurping. Gabriel's back too soon but not soon enough, with a 'smoothie' that any sane person would refer to as a milkshake. At a quick glance it seems to have ice cream, chocolate sauce, whipped cream, caramel, peanut butter, butterscotch, and 10-15 maraschino cherries. 

Lucifer steals a sip out of principle, then wrinkles his nose at the sugary sweetness. It's entirely overwhelming. Sam reaches for it himself and quickly hands it back with a quiet "Yuck."

"You didn't even try it, Samshine," Gabriel says as he grabs a spoon and offers Sam a bite. Sam tries it, then repeats, "Yuck."

Gabriel makes a strange face at him and takes a long sip, savoring the sugar rush. "Yum," he declares with obnoxious lip smacks.

"Yuck!" Sam declares emphatically. He thrusts forward so his finger is dipping into the concoction, then drags it across Gabriel's face. "Better as fingerpaint," he announces. 

"Oh, really?" Gabriel demands, a light coming into his eyes that means Sam is in for it now. He takes Sam's smoothie and upends the entire thing over Sam's head. 

"Awww," Sam pouts. He's dripping green down his hair, making fancy patterns on Lucifer's khaki pants. There's no saving them now. Sam turns to Lucifer, reaching out to take the devil's hand and smearing him with more green. "Help me get him back?"

"What?" Gabriel squawks. "No fair playing husbands against each other, Sammykins!" He leaps from the table and sprints away, cackling with glee. 

"Get him!" Sam cheers, bouncing on his toes so Lucifer has better aim, unimpeded by him.

"Go around and get him from behind," Lucifer whispers. 

Sam nods and sneaks off, pleased to note his hunter instincts are still intact. He stops at the table to pick up the entire carton of ice cream Gabriel left, and begins working it with a scoop so it will fall out over Gabriel's head. Lucifer catches his eye and begins taunting his brother, buying Sam precious seconds. Right as Lucifer picks up the jar of caramel Sam strikes. 

Gabriel lets out an unmanly shriek as he's coated in ice cream. He leaps forward instinctively, putting himself in the perfect place for Lucifer to attack. Lucifer springs, looping an arm around his brother's waist and holding him in place as he dumps the jar on his head. He massages it in like shampoo for a moment before releasing Gabriel. 

Gabriel laughs and turns around, grabbing Sam and smothering him in goop. Then he lurches toward Balthazar unsteadily, smearing him with the concoction. Balthazar leaps away, swearing in his posh European accent. He grabs the oatmeal he's eating and tries to dump it on Gabriel, but misses and dumps it on Michael instead. 

Chaos and pandemonium breaks loose. Dean considers an attack to Michael to be an attack to him, so he leaps ecstatically into the fray. Then in the middle of the toss he realizes Cas has never been in a food fight, so he starts yelling instructions to him. Cas follows directions obediently, picking up a pancake and tossing it loosely near the demon table. 

Sam has never seen a group of demons scatter as quickly as they do when that pancake lands in their midst. Azazel rallies them quickly and they advance as a group, tossing food at everything that moves. There's a bunch of shrieking and food flying- and all of this because Sam decided to fingerpaint Gabriel. 

"Let's take down the demons," Lucifer whispers to Sam quietly. Sam nods, pulling a bowl of strawberries toward him. A wicked smirk, and Lucifer is snapping his fingers to create huge green smoothie cups like Sam had. Sam abandons his strawberries in favor of the smoothies. 

Although the demons are organized, it takes a couple well-aimed hits to break them apart. Sam is quick, darting through them and upending cups then darting out of the way. Lucifer rushes in behind them, thrusting more green drinks over them. They're a good team, and between them the entire demon group is smothered in green goop in seconds. 

The fun comes to an abrupt end as Sam and Lucifer take on Michael. The second Michael gets hit with chocolate sauce he yells "Enough!" and uses his power to drench everyone in ice cold water, then waves a hand to clear away the mess. "Everyone upstairs to your rooms now!"

"Oops, we've been grounded," Gabriel says softly. 

Sam and Lucifer snicker in response. They fall in line with the demons, trooping up the stairs. "Dibs on the first shower!" Sam hollers, and he takes off running. 

"No way!" Gabriel disagrees, and he thunders up the stairs, shoving demons out of the way. He body slams Sam as he enters their room, and soon they're rolling around laughing together as they try tickling one another. 

Lucifer shrugs at the demons as though to say, 'What can I do?' and steps over his vessel and his brother. Then he reaches down, grabs both men's shoulders, and physically yanks them into the room with him, jumping around them again to shut the door. 

"Tickle fight!" Sam declares, standing to come near Lucifer. 

"No, go shower. Didn't you call dibs?"

"Yes!" Sam runs into the bathroom, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Gabriel winks at Lucifer and opens the door. Sam throws a shoe with the declaration, "I'm naked! Get out!" The door slams and Gabriel walks away chuckling. 

"What's with you?" Lucifer asks curiously. 

"Oh, just thinking about Sam's face when he remembers he didn't take clothes in with him."

"Grow up, Gabriel."

"No thanks."

An indeterminate amount of time later, Sam trudges out of the bathroom with a white towel wrapped around his waist. It's a small thing, and Gabriel is clearly perving at him. Sam pulls on his boxers, dropping the towel the second the elastic snaps. "Take a picture, it'll last longer," he tells Gabriel. 

"Some day. Even if it takes centuries, I fully intend to get pictures of you naked and unashamed of it."

"Sounds like a TV show."

"That's 'Naked and Afraid' you're thinking of."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Go shower."

Gabriel saunters over to the bathroom, stripping his clothes off on the way. He's sashaying his hips, but the effort is completely wasted because Sam is facing the other way pulling on jeans. 

"So I was thinking, you angel people are doing lots of things you shouldn't be. Showering, eating, sleeping. Why?"

"It's optional. We still don't have to do those things, but Father suggested we do it in order to better understand the humans. I enjoy showering. Gabriel has always enjoyed the food. Michael enjoys holding Dean while he sleeps. It's a strange perk, but one just the same."

Sam ponders that. "It's a little weird."

"Yes, it is."

Sam shudders a bit. "Is it hot in here?"

"No. But I always run cold. Do you want me to turn on the air conditioning?"

Sam reaches for him and shivers as they make contact. "You feel gloriously cold. Can you cuddle me?"

Lucifer obliges him, curling into bed with him. He wraps both arms around Sam's in a parody of a restraint, increasing their skin contact. "Aren't you tough men not supposed to admit that you enjoy cuddling?" Lucifer teases.

"That's more Dean's problem. I don't care if people know I have feelings."

A deep chuckle sounds from behind him, but Lucifer doesn't say anything else to tease him. He tightens his arms against Sam, enjoying the warmth and strength of the hunter in front of him. Neither man says anything, feeling that words will break the surreal spell that seems to surround them both. Sam's fingers play across the back of Lucifer's hands, drawing burning patterns with his body heat. 

The moment is broken by Gabriel, of course. The water shuts off and a moment later he struts from the bathroom like a runway model, still completely naked. He snaps his fingers and the song 'Sexy and I Know It' blasts through the air. "Sammy, darling, why are you shutting your eyes like I am not the most glorious creature you've ever laid eyes on?"

"And the most humble," quips Sam. "You don't stare at guys when they get out of the shower, it's just weird."

"What about if you're marrying them? Or, you know, the guy wants you to look?" Gabriel asks, looking curious. 

"Nah. I think it's too early to do that stuff."

"Maybe. I'm going to do it anyway, though."

"I'll appreciate it for both of us," Lucifer says into his vessel's ear, enjoying the shiver that runs through the man at the sound of his voice, "for now."

Gabriel approaches the bed, grinning predatory as he crawls down to Lucifer's level. They lock lips and Lucifer growls as he pulls his brother into a deep soul-searching kiss. Sam is sandwiched between them, and based on the way Gabriel pulls away with a laugh and a quick kiss to Sam's nose, still has his eyes screwed shut. "You're adorable when you're embarrassed, Sammy."

"I'm not!" Sam pouts, crossing his arms.

"Precious, really."

"Just because I don't feel the need to perv at your naked body-"

"Yes, yes, aren't you a real gentleman? No wonder the ladies love you."

"I'm just saying- if you'd let me talk," Sam starts hotly, "that I'm not comfortable with you in that manner."

"What manner? The naked kind?"

"Any of it!"

"Not comfortable? Mm. Perhaps we'll all have to start walking around naked in this room, what do you think Lucifer?"

"Oh, absolutely! I'll get my clothes off now!" Teasingly, he pulls Sam's hand back with his, yanking his shirt up and over his head. When their combined hands drop to his jeans Sam lets out a screech and tries to yank away. Lucifer immediately stops, dropping his vessel's hand to run his hands soothingly over Sam's back and arms. "Sorry. I'm teasing. I'm sorry."

Sam is shaking, eyes still screwed tightly shut. "Are you dressed yet?" he begs.

"No," Gabriel answers honestly. He crosses over to the dresser and yanks clothes out of it, throwing on the first outfit that comes out. He tugs on the clothes without another word, then says, "Okay, I'm dressed. I promise."

Sam yanks away from Lucifer, retreating to the head of the bed. "Go shower."

"Sam-" Lucifer begins, but is immediately interrupted.

"I mean it! Go!"

The tall hunter is curled impressively into a tiny ball. Lucifer finds his own clothes and retreats into the bathroom. He takes a quick shower and comes back out, fully dressed. A check on his brother and Gabriel show neither have moved during the time he was gone.

"Are we going to talk about this?" Lucifer inquires. "Sam?"

"No. Go away."

"No way, Sammykins. I crossed a line, and I'm sorry, but we need to talk about this to know what went wrong," Gabriel tells him. 

"No we don't. We can just drink and pretend it never happened, that's what Dean and I always do."

"Sweetheart, I hope you know you and Dean are the poster children for psychological issues. That's not healthy."

Sam leaps from the bed like his butt is on fire. "I'm getting alcohol, does anyone else want anything?"

"Sit. Now," Lucifer thunders in his archangel voice. Sam drops like a puppet with the strings cut. "Talk," Lucifer orders sternly.

Sam's lips clench together tightly, and he shakes his head. Lucifer sighs in exasperation, pulling out a chair and settling into it. "I can wait. However long you think you can wait, I can outlast you."

Hours pass before Sam moves. He's been curled into the tight little ball for too many hours, and he uncurls to stretch his arms behind his head, spine readjusting with obnoxious cracks. He tosses his neck, loud popping sounds accompanying the movement. 

A loud yelp from the room across the hall has him sprinting out the door, Lucifer and Gabriel on his heels. Sam pounds on the door, and it's yanked open by Dean who stumbles out with an embarrassed grin playing across his lips. "Oh, thank goodness it's you. C'mere, Sammy," Dean says, and he grabs his brother's wrist and hauls him down the hall.

"Are you alright? Did Michael hurt you?" Sam asks, worried hazel eyes scanning his brother's wrists for non-existent bruises. 

"I'm okay. I'm fine, Sammy," Dean says more sternly as Sam continues looking for injuries. "I just accidentally walked in on Michael in the shower. Wasn't expecting him to be in there. Left out some startled manly sound and vamoosed out of there."

"You sounded like a plucked chicken," Gabriel says.

"I did not, I was very masculine in my surprise!"

"Guys!" Sam interrupts. "Does it matter?"

"Yes!" Gabriel and Dean insist together.

Dean leans against the wall and groans, low in his throat. "Everything hurts," he mutters. 

Sam's hands flutter uselessly. "How can I help?"

Dean shakes his head. "I'm okay." He pushes his back against the wall harder, groaning again.

"Dean!"

"Fine, Sammy, I'm fine," Dean pants. "It's the d**n wings. The pressure helps."

"Wings?" Sam echoes. "Can I see?"

Obligingly Dean yanks his flannel over-shirt off, followed by his t-shirt. He spins around so Sam can see two huge bumps near his shoulder blades. The hunter and cursed parts of Sam war, conflicted between ignoring his brother's pain and helping. 

Dean takes the decision out of his hands, as he often does. He wrenches away from the wall and viciously tugs his shirt over his head once more. The flannel over top has Dean looking back to normal. Only a tiny furrow of his brow betrays his pain.

"Well, big brother must be so very pleased. No matter what you say, now we all know you've said yes to a much bigger thing," Lucifer breaks the silence to say. 

"I'm sure he would be pleased, if he knew," Dean counters. 

"You didn't tell him? What about Cassie?" Gabriel jumps in to ask. 

"No way. And neither of you are going to tell them, either. I don't want to make a big deal out of it."

"It's kinda a big deal," Sam argues. "You're literally sprouting wings."

"I said no. It's my body, I should be able to tell them when I want to. And I'm not going to yet."

Sam sighs. "You're such a girl!"

"Shut it, b***h."

"Jerk."

Just like that, the conversation is over. Sam bumps his brother's hip with his own as they set off down the hall together, abandoning the two archangels. "So. Michael must be packing," Sam says offhandedly.

Dean squawks again. "The f**k, dude? Don't be thinking about my man naked!"

"Yeah, I figured he was with the sound you made." Sam laughs. "You taking charge, or is he?" 

"Shut it, Sammy."

"What about Cas?"

"What about him?" Cas asks in his gravelly voice from directly in front of them. 

'Backtrack. Now. Don't let Cas know you're teasing Dean about him naked,' Sam thinks. "Oh, we were just talking about how unexcited Dean is to rule heaven. I was asking what you thought. So now that you're here, what do you think?"

"My opinion is not of import."

"Oh, well. Alright then. That's fine."

Cas squints at him. Then he turns to Dean. "I wanted to come find you to see if you would teach me to kiss as you and Michael did last night."

"No!" Dean yells. At Sam's look, he says, "Sorry, didn't mean to yell. Sam and I have to talk with Bobby about possible jobs. C'mon, Sam," Dean says, and hauls Sam down the hall. 

Sam chances a glance back at Cas and feels his heart break. The angel looks dejected and abandoned, head down as he turns away slowly. "For the sake of your relationship, you better hope there is a job and invite him on it, because he looks like you just shot his puppy for fun."

Dean frowns but nods in agreement. "Sure, Sammy."

They head down together, Sam grabbing his laptop from the stairwell. "Sammy, why is your laptop here and not in your bedroom?"

Sam shrugs. "I was afraid, I think. But I don't understand why."

"That's right, you're still cursed! So what, you're all lovey with Lucifer now thanks to a spell? Do you think it will last tomorrow- the romantic part, not the curse?"

"I couldn't tell you."

"I don't like it, Sam. What happens if you get hurt?"

"It's nothing I haven't experienced at his hands before, if my memory serves correctly."

"I know, I know, but- I still wish we could run."

"No you don't," Sam counters. "You love Cas, dude. And from watching you these past few days, I would also say you're in love with Michael. What happened with that, by the way? You played poker once and suddenly you've forgiven him for everything?"

" No! No, no, it wasn't like that at all. We played poker and got in a fight. A huge fight, actually. I was throwing s**t and screaming at him, called him a narcissistic ba****d, and then I went to the kitchen and grabbed a f**king frying pan and whipped that at his head too. Poor Cas was doing everything possible to calm me down, but I was in a rage. He just let me scream myself out, and then he told me he was sorry for what he had done. He claims he had no idea what his minions we're doing to us, he just told them to 'get us to say yes.' They figured it was a great honor, but when we told 'em to stick it where the sun don't shine they realized they had seriously underestimated us so they started panicking. I guess that's why they did what they did. But he did apologize, and the fact of the matter is that I can understand why he did what he did, because we're so similar. And talking to Michael, I can understand why he wanted us to say yes. It really was meant to be an honor; humans having archangels inside of us. But we said no, we stopped the apocalypse, and now here we are."

Sam makes a face. "Do you believe him?"

"I have to," Dean practically whispers. In a more normal voice he says, "I'm marrying this man soon. I have to believe he's changed or I'll go nuts."

"You're already nuts."

"You're one to talk, Sammy boy. I did mean what I said, though. If you want to take me up on it..."

"We can't, Dean. I can marry them, don't you worry."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," Sam says with false confidence. 

"What do you want to do?" Dean asks, switching topics. 

"Watch a movie," Sam replies. 

"Okay, what movie?"

"Disney!"

Dean huffs. "Sammy-" he whines, but he boots up the computer and navigates easily to find a Disney movie. "Pick one," he orders, thrusting the laptop at Sam, "I'm going to find Cas and drag his feathery a** down here."

By the time Dean has returned, dragging Cas as promised, Sam has pulled up 'The Lion King' and skipped through the commercials.

"Lion King, really Sammy?"

"It's a classic and you know it." Sam pulls his blanket tight around himself, making a cocoon. Dean snuggles into Cas, twisting his body a bit so he can kiss him. Cas reciprocates, but before they can get too far in a nice make-out session Sam interrupts. "If you guys make out during 'The Lion King' I will never forgive you."

"Spoilsport," Dean whines.

"Cas hasn't seen this one yet, and it's important for his pop culture understanding."

Dean sighs in frustration, but he can't argue. He sits so he's nearly on Cas' lap- but not close enough to be distracting- and wraps Cas' arms around his body. Cas runs his hands up and down Dean's arms affectionately, attention focused on the man in front of him and the screen in front of them all. 

By the time they are halfway through the movie, Dean is snoring. "He's asleep?" Sam asks Cas, punctuated by a light snore from Dean.

"He didn't sleep well last night. He and Michael were kissing intensely for the majority of the night."

"Intensely?" Sam echoes dubiously.

"They looked like they were trying to eat each other."

"You and Dean look the same way, buddy," Sam informs him. 

"And after that, he didn't sleep well because he's in pain from his wings growing in."

Sam waits for a beat too long, he's sure. "Oh, he's growing wings? Did that start already?"

He can just barely see the gleam of teeth as Cas answers. "I know you know, Sam. Michael and I both noticed that Dean was beginning to exhibit signs of growing wings. That's part of the reason he was so upset when you went missing yesterday; he's more irritable and moody right now. Last night the bumps on his shoulders were hardly there, but I am certain Dean has noticed them today and, most likely, that is the reason he turned me down when I requested he teach me to kiss as he and Michael did, and not because of any dislike of me personally."

"He does like you, you know," Sam reassures him. "I've known that for much longer than he has."

"As have I. But Dean does not discuss his feelings, and I've never needed to be told of how he feels, and it went unsaid between us for what many would claim is too long."

"I'm just glad I don't have to deal with all your staring any more."

Before Cas can answer, a loud finger snap interrupts. The ground beneath them explodes into a couch, large enough for several more people than the three currently on it. Sam's computer twists and morphs with it, changing into a large flat-screen TV. A second later a coffee table springs into existence, with huge amounts of popcorn.

Gabriel vaults the back of the couch easily, especially considering his tiny stature. After he lands he turns to Sam with a preen, "Thank you, Sam."

"Stay out of my head, Gabriel," Sam huffs, affronted.

"Then don't think so loud about me."

Lucifer settles in on the other side of Cas, sliding an arm around Dean and lifting him effortlessly so Dean is sprawled across him too. He curls into Cas, resting his head on his younger brother's shoulder. Cas startles but relaxes after a moment, sagging into Lucifer's side.

Gabriel seems to take his cue from Lucifer, picking up Sam's arm and curling it around him. He jostles the entire couch as he gets comfortable, waking Dean with a gasp.

"Cas?" Dean gasps, arms flailing uncertainly for a moment.

"I'm here, Dean. Shhh, it's alright, you just fell asleep," he soothes. "The movie is still going."

Dean grunts as he assesses the situation. "Why is Lucifer holding me?"

"Cas and I are cuddling," Lucifer explains. "You were in the way."

Dean growls low in his throat. "Knock it off," Cas says, running his fingers through Dean's hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. "He's not hurting you."

Dean is silent for a while, and then his eyes roll back into his head and his mouth falls open with a snore. "Sleep well. Angels are watching over you," Cas whispers, words that haven't been said over Dean since he was four years old.

Gabriel is crunching popcorn lowly in Sam's ear but he can't find it within himself to care. He is warm and sleepy, and safe. His mind reassures him that there is no one here who will hurt him. He leans into Cas, pulls Gabriel closer to himself, and follows his brother off in the Sandman's grip.


	7. Stanford

Sam wakes up with a huge crink in his neck and an archangel blowing breath that smells like caramel popcorn into his nose. He makes a face and sets about removing himself from the octopus that is also known as the archangel Gabriel without waking him. Miraculously a few minutes later he manages to make his escape. Gabriel seems to realize that he's left, because he reaches out for the warmth of Sam and instead tucks himself into Castiel in Sam's absence. Cas doesn't seem to mind if his deep breathing is any indication. Dean is still draped across Cas and Lucifer both, and Lucifer is leaning so far into Cas' shoulder he's nearly knocking him into Gabriel. Sam pulls out his phone and clicks a picture.

After slipping his phone in his pocket, he makes his way down the hall. In the lounge he spots Balthazar, Crowley, and Bobby sitting on a couch together. Their legs are all intertwined as they speak lowly amongst themselves. Sam approaches slowly, unsure from their facial expressions whether or not he'd be interrupting anything.

"Hey," Sam greets awkwardly as he gets close enough.

Balthazar stops talking, though he offers a tight-lipped smile at Sam. Crowley's hands travel to the collar of Bobby's shirt, playing across his neck as he says, "The answer is no, Moose. You will not be taking Bobby from us to go hunting."

"I don't need to go hunting," Sam replies, "I need answers."

All three of them perk up at that. "What kind of answers?" Balthazar asks.

"About this wedding thing." He settles in on the ground, crossing his long legs and resting his hands on his chin.

"What do you want to know? I think I speak for all of us when I say we'll answer just about any question you've got," Bobby begins.

"Possibly in far more explicit detail than you want," Balthazar snickers.

Sam recoils. "No, no, nothing like that!" he hastily reassures the men. "Why can I see the hellhounds?" he blurts.

The three men exchange a frustrated glance. "You mean to tell me not a single one of your idjit husbands mentioned that?" Bobby asks.

"Lucifer mentioned that it was his fault because 'I needed to be able to see them,' whatever that means. But Gabriel mentioned something about accepting them, and that being the reason why I could see them. Lucifer alluded to that too as he was talking to Dean yesterday, only in regards to Dean's relationship with Michael. So, which is the truth?"

Bobby sighs. "The way I understand it- and either of you jump in if I'm tellin' him wrong- both are somewhat true. You can see the hellhounds because you need to be able to see them. However, if you weren't accepting your role in this marriage scheme of God's, you wouldn't be able to." Sam's brow crinkles in confusion, so Bobby keeps explaining. "Think of it as a fail-safe. No one had any way of knowing how you would react to this whole marriage news. Just because it's something that should be done doesn't mean it's something that you will do, as anybody who knows you can testify to. So there would be no point in making you over to be a ruler of Hell if you refused to be a ruler of Hell. But since you're accepting Lucifer and Gabriel, your body is preparing you to take on that role."

He falls silent, allowing Sam to absorb that. "So what else is going to happen to me?"

Bobby looks to Crowley expectantly, so that's where Sam looks too. Crowley sighs. "That's a bit more difficult to guess at. Dean's was slightly more obvious, because as a ruler of Heaven we all knew he was going to be growing wings, and we figure he'll probably have a low dose of angel mojo too. He'll be immortal, of course, as will you. You though...it's very hard to guess what skills you're going to need. You definitely had to be able to see the hellhounds. Most likely, you'll need to be able to see our true forms. But other things...your spouses, for example, both have wings. Will you get them too, in order to fly up to Heaven and chit-chat with the angels up there about how they're running things? It's possible, but no guarantees. You're a wild card right now."

Sam frowns at that, looking back and forth between them. "What changes are you guys undergoing, if you don't mind my asking?"

"Nothing, besides the fact that Bobby here is going to be immortal too. There's not much change required to be heaven's ambassadors to Earth."

"Crowley is a demon," Sam feels the need to remind them. 

"But not like the others," Bobby replies with a fond glance in his direction. 

"Am I really going to have to rule Hell?"

"Ideally you would. We don't expect much from you or Dean until centuries from now so you can adjust."

Sam thinks this over, a tiny frown crawling across his face. "Thanks. That's it for now." He unfolds his long legs and walks away, thinking about the conversation. He's not expected to rule Hell, but he certainly doesn't plan to allow Gabriel and Lucifer to make the decisions alone. He's planning to help but to do that he needs to know a lot more. 

Mind made up, he leaves a note and tries to find someone's car he can borrow. Adam lets his car go without a fuss, so Sam is off. 

As soon as Sam clicks the locking mechanism on the keys, all the hellhounds peer up at him sleepily. They tumble free of the pile they were sleeping in and approach with wagging tails. Sam shrugs, then whistles for the dogs and pats the backseat. The hellhounds jump in exuberantly. Sam climbs in himself and backs out of the parking lot and onto the road. Next stop: Stanford. 

Thirty-eight hours later- thanks, California traffic- Sam is pulling Adam's car into his old college. He grabs his phone and calls one of his favorite professors. 

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Sam Winchester. I'm in town, mind if I swing by?"

The response is startled, but warm. "Certainly. When can I expect you?"

"Fifteen minutes."

Fifteen minutes later, Sam is pushing the door to Professor Frank's office open. 

"Come in, come in! It's good to see you! Looking to finally get back in the swing of things, the old college grind?"

"Not quite. Actually, I was hoping I could buy some textbooks off of you."

"You lose all yours?"

Sam shrugs. "Think they burnt up. But I don't need lawyering ones, actually. I'm switching my major."

"Oh yeah? To what?"

"Political sciences."

"Really? The Sam Winchester I knew would've wanted to be a lawyer and a lawyer only. So what's happened to you since you left us here after your girlfriend died in that freak fire?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you. Let's just say I found someone else. He's a diplomat, and I want to learn this stuff to support him. But because he's so busy I don't have time to actually return to college. So I was hoping I could just buy the books."

"He, huh? What country is this 'he' a diplomat for?"

"It varies."

"Hmmm. Well you're in luck. I do have the textbooks you're looking for, most of them anyway. I can make some calls and get the rest. I'll see you back here at this time tomorrow?"

"Great. Thank you very much, Sir."

"Good luck with your diplomat, boy."

"Do you know, did anyone take over Jess' and my apartment?"

"Nah, it's empty right now."

"Then that's where I'll be, if you get the books sooner. Thanks for everything."

It's a simple matter to head back to the old apartment and let himself in, hellhounds tumbling with him. It's been repaired since the fire, and Sam doesn't recognize the wall color. He wanders it for a moment, trailing curious fingers over the wall. 

When he turns around again, he's not surprised to find Jess standing there watching him.

"Hey," he croaks. 

She smiles fondly. "Hey, Sam." 

He's moving, unaware that he's even taken a step until he's colliding with Jess, back hitting the wall as his arms surround her. He buries his face in her neck, inhales her scent, and falls apart. She says nothing as he sobs, just holds him and strokes his hair until he cuts himself short with gasping breaths. 

"It's okay, Sam. It's alright. I forgive you. I don't blame you. It's okay. We're alright."

"Jess-" Sam begs, but what he's begging for he can't begin to explain. 

"It's okay. We're okay. We're going to be fine."

"You're alive, you came back," he gasps. His hands travel reverently up her arms to cup her face. "Is it really you, you're really alive?"

"It's really me. I'm here."

"I missed you so much!"

"I'm so sorry, Sam. I didn't want to leave." She hugs him tighter. "Thanks for killing Brady for me."

A cut-off laugh. "Welcome. Things I never thought you'd say to me."

"You could have told me, you know."

"That Brady was gunning for you? Can't tell you what I didn't know."

"That's not what I'm talking about, and you know it."

"Hunting," Sam says the word with all the exhaustion he feels. He pulls back to look at the woman holding him. "I couldn't have!" At her skeptical look, he argues, "Don't give me that look! You were innocent, Jess! How would you have responded to knowing that there were monsters in this world, that everything in your worst nightmares is true? I thought I got out, thought I was safe and never going back!" His voice trails off. "That's why they killed you, you know. They needed me to return to it."

"I know. They told me when I got to hell."

Sam yanks back and stares at her, shocked. "What?!"

Jess smiles sweetly. "What, you think you're the only one who went to hell?"

"Jess, I-"

"Sam, if you beat yourself up over something you had no control over one more time, so help me I will fight you."

Sam smiles at that, he can't help it. The image of tiny Jess fighting him...then he groans, because she was successful in distracting him and he knows it. "Why did you go? Why did they take you?"

"Because I was close to who they really wanted."

"Me."

"No, Dean. Yes, of course you!"

Sam grins unwittingly, but quickly sobers again. "Did they hurt you?"

"Surprisingly, no. Brady took me to Azazel, Azazel took me to Lucifer, and all Lucifer wanted to talk about was you. I'll have you know I froze out the devil for several centuries until he convinced me that he didn't want to hurt you. After he finally convinced me of his sincerity, we talked about you a lot."

This conversation has just taken a very weird turn. "What about?"

"Everything you can imagine. Favorite food, color, dessert, flavor of ice cream. How you dressed, styled your hair, your college education, how smart you are. The dates we went on, how you were as a boyfriend, if you can imagine it we probably talked about it, with the exception of our sex life because I made it clear that was off limits."

"Why?!" Sam throws all of his incredulous feelings into the question. 

"Because he wanted to get to know you before he tried to get you to say yes."

"He wanted an easier way to manipulate me."

"No! He did get inside your head, didn't he? How could you not know the depth of what he felt?"

Sam stares at her. "What?" he manages weakly. 

"Have you ever watched a romance movie, Sam?"

"Um, yes. With you!" he says emphatically, feeling like he's got whiplash from the sudden topic change. 

"Remember when people say that the characters are 'made for each other?'"

Sam begins shaking his head before she finishes the sentence. "That is not AT ALL what they mean."

"You're right. But hello, it really exists for a few people, and you're throwing it away!"

"No, Jess. That's not what it means, that's not what he wants...just, no."

"Now you're just being pig-headed."

"Jess! I am not!" Sam cries, shocked. "Just because I don't want to marry SATAN doesn't mean I'm being pig-headed! I'm terrified to death that marrying him will seal my eternal fate. I don't want to go back to Hell! And I don't want to lose me! When I drank the demon blood I wasn't in control of who I was- I was a monster puppet for whoever was smart enough to pull the strings. Well I'm not doing it again! I refuse to be a monster again. I can't do it, Jess, I just can't."

"It doesn't have to be like that. You're Sam Winchester, you're brilliant! Learn how to rule Hell and do it! Marry Lucifer and don't let him push you around. He loves you, Sam, as hard as it may be to wrap your head around that concept."

"Would you stop saying that?"

"No, because I'm hoping if I say it enough times it will click in that big brain of yours."

"He doesn't love me."

"Oh really? I'm sorry, did you spend centuries talking about you with him? Because I certainly did. Newsflash: he loves you. It was enough to make me jealous, listening to him go on and on about how much he liked you. He was in love with the idea of you before he ever met you."

"He first appeared to me wearing your face!"

"Good! Then unlike you, it appears he can follow simple directions!"

"You told him to do that? Why?"

"Because I knew that you would be scared if he revealed himself for who he was. So I told him to be me first, so you wouldn't be afraid."

"Well, that didn't work out the way you planned. Seeing him change from you to him was terrible- gave me nightmares for a long time."

"Sorry, Sam. I didn't think of that."

"Can we be done fighting now? I didn't drive all this way to argue with you over whether or not Lucifer is in love with me," Sam says.

Jess laughs. "Sure. We're done. Just think about what I said, yeah?"

"Fine, whatever. So are you all packed, so we can go back tomorrow?"

Jess stares at him with pity in her gaze. "Sam. I'm not coming back with you tomorrow. You're moving on, getting married! I wasn't going to come here to you at all, but I knew you needed to hear that I didn't hold you responsible for my death. Plus, you needed a kick in the rear to get you thinking about Lucifer romantically."

"But- but I want you to come. Back with me, I mean."

"Sam, there's nothing there for me any more."

"I'm there!"

"And I gave up my claim to you a long time ago."

"Jess-"

"No, no, don't do this Sam. This wasn't meant to be a sad thing. There's no future for us, but you still have a life, so you'll go back to it. And I'll be your friend for tonight. Tomorrow I'm going to Heaven for the first time, so that will be super exciting! You can come visit sometime."

"I'll have to," Sam answers optimistically. "So, what did you want to do for tonight?"

What they end up doing is reminiscing together, laughing until their sides hurt. They play stupid games and talk like they're normal people who haven't died. Night slips away before either of them realize it, and soon it's time to split up.

"When are you returning to Heaven?"

"Soon. I wanted to see you off first."

Sam calls his professor and within minutes has all the books (a huge massive pile that even he staggers under) and they're tucked safely into Adam's car. 

Jess and he hug, and when they finally separate she says, "Remember what I said. Talk to Lucifer."

"I will. I promise."

"And let your brother know I don't blame him for not realizing I was in danger. He came to my grave to apologize on the one year anniversary of you jumping into the Cage."

"He never told me that."

"Well, he did."

"Thanks Jess, really. For everything."

"You're welcome. Good luck."

Sam gets into the borrowed car and drives away. One of the hellhounds climbs into his lap and he rubs it absentmindedly as he drives, thinking about what Jess told him. The idea that Lucifer is in love with him, was even before he met Sam, is startling. Try as he might, he can't think of anything that gave that away. 

Sam finally gets back to Indiana and goes into the hotel. His eyes are burning as he tries to hold them open for a tiny bit longer. The hellhounds knock him out of the car and onto his face, but thankfully it's early enough no one is around to witness it. He staggers into the hotel tiredly. 

Lucifer is still awake, or perhaps just woke up, but he's talking with Azazel and Ruby quietly. Lilith doesn't seem to be nearby. Azazel catches Sam's eye and says something to Lucifer. Lucifer looks up and sees Sam, and the expression on his face is akin to a man witnessing a miracle. 

"Sam, are you alright?"

"Fine. Tired," Sam manages to communicate. 

"You're bleeding."

"Fell. Hounds."

Lucifer's hand traces his arm, and tiny gashes that Sam hadn't noticed begin to mend. "I thought you weren't coming back," Lucifer tells him. 

Sam frowns. "Note?" he questions. 

"Where?"

Sam takes Lucifer's hand, interlocking their fingers. "Here."

"We didn't see it."

"Dropped?"

"Maybe," Lucifer allows. "Go to bed."

Sam shakes his head, though his eyes are drooping shut. "Talk," he insists. 

"Not tonight."

"Yes."

"No. Come on, Sam. Time for bed."

"'Morrow?"

"Sure. We'll talk tomorrow. All day, if you want." Lucifer scoops Sam into his arms before he can breathe a word of protest. "I'll be back," he mouths to his demons, and carries his soon-to-be husband up the stairs. 

Sam snuggles in, burrowing deep into Lucifer's shirt. He yawns, then drifts off. 

Lucifer kicks the door lightly once he gets to their room, and Gabriel yanks it open. "Sam?" he questions, alarmed, but when Lucifer places a finger to his lips he hushes. 

"He's sleeping."

"Where was he? I didn't think he was coming back. It's been four days!"

"I don't know, he didn't say. He did manage to communicate that he left a note for us, but didn't know where it went. He left it in my hand."

"We'll have to look for it. For now, I can take him, if you want to get back to your demon powwow."

"They can wait. He's more important." He carries Sam over to the bed, laying him down carefully so he doesn't wake him. Gabriel yanks the blankets back the moment before Sam hits the sheets. Sam's shoes are pulled off, set on the side of the bed so he can find them easily tomorrow. Lucifer debates about undressing him, but in the end decides against it- Sam will probably wake up, and even if he doesn't he's not sure how Sam will react to realizing he was undressed without his knowledge in the middle of the night. He covers Sam with the blankets, and smooths his hair out of his face. "Goodnight, Sam," he whispers. He brushes a kiss across Sam's forehead because he is not strong enough to resist, and breathes out, "I'm glad you came back to us." Sam doesn't stir.

When Lucifer straightens back up, Gabriel is watching him with a knowing expression.

"What?" Lucifer demands, uncomfortable with the way Gabriel is staring at him.

"You really do love him."

"Your pranks have gone to your head, brother, and you can no longer tell the difference between reality and the alternate universes you create."

Gabriel smirks. "You never denied it," he points out, and he leaves the room whistling.

Lucifer glares after him, then returns to his demons, shutting the door quietly behind him. They're trying to prevent civil war, and as much as he wants to be with Sam, this is more important.  
...................................................................................................  
Sam feels hot all over when he wakes up. He's been sweating for several days- California in August is not known for being cool- but he had been hoping it would decrease as he went back to Indiana. It almost feels like he's hotter now than he was. He kicks off the blankets and takes a cold shower, which does nothing for his body temperature but helps wake him up a bit more.

He's still more than half asleep as he stumbles downstairs, which is what drives him to grab a mug of coffee and beg Bobby's flask off of him.

"Where were you, you idjit?" Bobby demands as Sam upends his entire flask into his coffee.

"I went to Stanford to get books on Political Science," Sam explains as he gulps down the concoction, making a face at the taste.

"Moose, you're not supposed to gulp that!" Crowley mock-scolds, sounding scandalized. "Where is your sense of refinery?"

"Still asleep, where the rest of me would like to be."

He blinks for a moment at Crowley. Now that his vision isn't blurry with sleep, he can see- well, he's not sure. It's clearly Crowley's true demon form, but the sight is too horrible for words, and Sam has seen many horrible things in his life. He jumps away from the table, stammering out an apology, and flees.

Sam is so distracted he nearly walks into his brother, and it's because of this that he doesn't duck the fist flying to meet his face. He's slammed backwards, a thundering sound in his ears. 

"I thought you left! Don't you EVER do that to me again!"

Sam groans and grabs Dean's arm to stabilize himself. Dean misunderstands the gesture, wrapping his arms around Sam in a quick hug. A second later, he let's go with the exclamation, "You're burning up, Sammy!"

Sam shivers. "I'm cold," he mutters. 

"Cas, Sam is burning up!"

Cas is by their side in an instant, fingertips glowing with blue light as he touches Sam. The light travels through Sam's body and returns to Cas with a zap. He frowns, brow creasing, and sends the light again. 

"Cas?" Sam hears Dean ask, voice sounding as though it's coming from far away. "What's happening?"

"His body is rejecting the grace."

Lucifer is there suddenly, seeing Cas touching his beloved husband. "What's happening?"

"He's burning up," Dean says. 

"He's rejecting my grace," reports Cas. 

Lucifer's grace glows on his own fingers a moment before he passes it into Sam. The same thing happens, the blue grace returns to his fingers without helping Sam. 

"How's he doing this? Is he going to be okay?" Dean yells.

"Sometimes people can reject grace. He should be okay, so long as we can get his fever down," Lucifer explains. 

Michael and Gabriel join the small knot of people standing together in the center of the room. "What's happening?" questions Gabriel. 

"Sam's rejecting grace and running a high fever."

Gabriel reaches out to touch him and recoils at the heat radiating off him. He snaps his fingers, conjuring a large glass of water with plenty of ice cubes floating in it. "Sam, I need you to drink this, okay?" Gabriel orders, pressing it into Sam's hand. 

"Cold," Sam protests. 

"I know, but can you drink it anyway?"

Sam tries, but half the glass ends up down his shirt. "Cold," he mumbles sadly, yanking at the wet shirt. "So cold."

"Sam, it's Michael. We're going to get you upstairs and out of that cold shirt, okay?"

"Cold," Sam repeats. 

"I know. We're going to help you. Cas, go for ice packs please, they should be in the kitchen. Lucifer, slide under Sam's arm, I'm going to take his other. I don't trust him to make it upstairs under his own power. Gabriel, start a luke-warm bath in your room so we can try to get his fever down," Michael orders. "Dean," Michael turns to his fiance, noticing the fear in his eyes, "walk ahead and talk to Sam, okay? Be sure he can hear your voice so he doesn't freak out. He's going to be fine."

Dean does as he's asked, keeping up a running monologue on the elevator ride. Sam's eyes are clearly unfocused, but he seems to be listening to his brother because he's not fighting Michael or Lucifer as they support him.

They make it into the hotel room and Dean steps into his brother's space, yanking his shirt off which is soaked with sweat. The pants come next, and Dean muscles him into the bathroom where Gabriel has just finished running the cool water.

"C'mere, Sammy," Dean coaxes, holding his brother close. "Lift your leg, that's it," he soothes as Sam steps into the water. 

Sam recoils, yanking away from his brother. "No, no, no, cold!" Sam mumbles in a litany.

"Sam, it's okay," Gabriel promises. "We're trying to get your fever down."

"Should we try to force him in?" Michael asks.

Sam hears his voice and jerks violently. "He'll hurt me!" he whispers frantically to Dean.

"I won't let him, Sammy. It's okay. We're just trying to get your fever down. You're really sick." He steps back into the tub, uncaring for the wet denim that clings to his legs now. "Here Sammy, come in with me."

"NO!" Sam yells.

"Inside voice, Sammy," Dean reprimands. He tells Michael, "I don't think we're going to get him in this tub without a huge fight, and fighting with him will only jack his temperature up."

"What about a shower?"

"If you can get him inside of that tub, be my guest."

Michael manages to coax Sam in once the water is drained out of the tub, but the second the shower comes on he lets out an inhuman screech and claws at Michael's arms in a desperate bid for freedom. "Stop it!" he gasps, "I'm not broken." Then the words turn into a begging litany for "DeanDeanDeanDeanDeanDean."

"Michael, turn off the water now," Dean barks. "Sammy, I'm here. It's okay Sammy, I'm here."

Dean manipulates them both out of the tub, taking the towel Gabriel holds out with a grateful smile. He dries Sam as best he can, though the water is already mostly gone from the heat of Sam's skin. He leaves Sam in his boxers, because anything they can use to keep Sam cool is a blessing at this point. Once Sam is dry he tries to lead him out to the bed.

Sam jerks away from him, eyes hazy with fever. "Dean?" he questions frantically.

"Yeah, Sammy, right here."

"I'm hot," Sam informs him.

"I know. Come here, Sammy, lay in the bed with me."

"Not tired. Wanna talk to Lucifer."

"I'm here, Sam. What do you want to talk about?"

"Jess said-" Sam begins, reaching for his fiance. The second he makes contact, he lets out a delighted exclamation of "Cold!" He rips Lucifer's shirt off, pressing into him and wrapping his arms around him. "So cold," he mutters contentedly, pressing his lips into Lucifer's clavicle. 

Curiously and cautiously, Lucifer presses his arms back into Sam. "Here, Sam," he calls, easing back onto the bed. "I'm tired. Can you lay here with me?"

"Sleep?" Sam demands.

"Just a bit."

Sam crawls onto the bed with Lucifer, body chasing the coolness of the other man. He snuggles into him, pressing his body to Lucifer's shirtless chest. His body shudders, and he drifts off immediately.

Dean's mouth presses into a tight line, and he drags a chair over and settles into it. 

"Dean-" Michael begins.

"I'm staying here. Don't try to talk me out of this."

Michael nods, taking his fiance's hand and sitting as his feet. Dean speaks into the silence, "I don't expect you to wait here with me."

"He's important to you, and to my brother. What more do I need to care about his well-being?"

Dean falls quiet. Then after a moment he speaks again, "Where is Cas?"

As though Dean's voice has summoned him, Cas forces his way into the hotel room, lugging massive amounts of frozen vegetables, ice packs, bags of ice, and popsicles and ice cream.

"What the f**k?" Dean questions wonderingly.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted, Michael, so I brought a bit of everything," Cas explains.

Michael can't stop the smile playing across his lips as he says, "I think just the ice packs here would've been fine, but since we've got everything else, we'll use that too."

Cas pouts. "I did it wrong, didn't I?"

"No, not necessarily. I said we'll use it all, and we will." He captures Cas' chin and plants a kiss on his still-pouting lips, "Stop pouting, it's unbecoming."

"How is it unbecoming?" Cas asks.

"Because it makes me want to ravish you."

"Oh!" Cas exclaims, sounding startled. "Really?"

Michael rolls his eyes. "Castiel, how many times must I tell you I want you before you believe me?"

Dean, who is putting the ice cold stuff Cas brought onto his brother, takes this opportunity to toss an ice cream novelty at Michael's head. "Eat this, it'll cool you down," he says casually when Michael shoots him a look.

Gabriel chuckles and reaches for his own, crawling into bed behind Lucifer as he crunches into his ice cream.

"You better not get that in the bed," Lucifer tells him.

"Or what?" Gabriel asks, which prompts Lucifer to turn and whisper something in his ear. "That's not fair!" Gabriel exclaims.

Sam bolts awake with Gabriel's pronouncement, eyes looking around wildly for a threat. Lucifer manages to get him to lie back down, coaxing him to lay his head on the pillow with his back to Lucifer's stomach. He reaches out his hand for another ice cream, unwrapping it and encouraging Sam to eat it. Sam does so obediently, though he drifts off again in the middle of the ice cream. Lucifer passes the rest of the sticky concoction behind him to Gabriel with a grimace, who finishes it with a lick of his fingers. 

"Cas and I can watch Sammy, if you and Lucifer need to host more meetings to prevent civil war," Gabriel offers to Michael.

Michael shakes his head in rejection of the offer. "Thank you, but no. We'll figure something out, but we need to get people to understand how important they are to us. This is non-negotiable. I'll be here alongside Dean." He takes his fiance's hand, kissing it to comfort him. "He's going to be okay, Dean."

Dean doesn't answer him for too long. Finally, he says, "You can't know that. But I can. He's been through so much, it would be stupid if it would be a fever that ultimately kills him." He goes silent again, watchful eyes trained on the bed. Sam's body jerks and shudders as shivers rack through him again before he goes still. The family keeps watching, each of them rooting for Sam to make it through.


	8. Hallucinations

Sam wakes with a startled gasp, moving from zero to sixty in full Winchester mode. He wasn't sure what woke him, because a quick scan of the room showed it was empty. He sneaks over to the door, pulling it open carefully. 

The room next door has been propped open. 'A case?' There's no sign of anything supernatural or otherworldly in that room, but there is a gun under the pillow which Sam takes and tucks into the waistband of his pants. He had been unarmed, and that's not safe, especially since he doesn't know where he is. 

Which brings about the important question: where is he? He had been so so hot, so...Hell? But then, where's Lucifer? Or Michael? Were they distracted by Adam? Sam doesn't hear his screams but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Adam could be unconscious. 

He checks around the door cautiously and begins to trek down the hall, hand on the gun. The gun is useless- not like shooting the devil or his archangel older brother will actually do anything- but Sam likes the weight of it in his hands. It's comforting in a way few things are. 

Sam makes it the entire way down the hallway without meeting either Lucifer or Michael. The hotel floor is empty, which makes Sam smirk to himself. He knows that this is fake now, because in what hotel can you walk an entire floor without seeing anyone? For that matter, when have he and Dean ever stayed in a hotel instead of a motel? When he finally finds Lucifer, he'll have to clue him in. Or maybe not, because it's nice to know that this isn't real. For once, he has the upper hand.

Sam's made it to the lounge before he hears a startled, "Sammy?" He clicks the safety off the gun and points it as his 'brother.' At first glance, he can't tell if it's Michael or Lucifer- Michael used to enjoy torturing Sam in Dean's body as some sort of twisted 'I can have him as my vessel after all' psychology, though that was before he just checked out mentally after about the first ten years when he realized his father wasn't coming to rescue him. Lucifer has certainly proven adept at being Dean as well.

"Sam, what are you doing out of bed?" either Michael or Lucifer demands.

Sam's brow furrows as he tries to figure out the hidden meaning behind that message. Lucifer had never...had he? Sam was almost certain he would remember that. He remembers the other forms of torture, so there's no way he wouldn't remember being raped if it had happened. So it hadn't happened. But then why was he supposed to be in bed?

"Sam, are you okay?" 

Sam turns at the voice, and his eyes widen in shock. "Cas?!" he yanks the angel behind a pillar of the hotel, staring at him in amazement. "Is it really you?"

"Yes, it's really me. Sam, are you alright? Dean is worried about you."

"You promised you wouldn't come!" Sam hisses as Cas' words remind him of the problem with him being here. "It was too dangerous! We agreed! I made you promise, I made Dean promise! I don't know how you got here but I need you to leave, now!"

"Sam, I do not know what you are speaking of."

"Before I threw myself into Hell I made you both promise me you would let me in here. You can't be here, Cas! If they find out that they can get out, do you know what they'll do? What they'll do to me?" The question is rhetorical, so Sam barrels on, "and one of them has already seen you! Cas, they won't let you go. You have to leave, and leave now!"

"Leave where, Sam? Where are we?"

"Hell, Cas, where do you think we are? We're in Hell, Lucifer's Cage, ringing any bells? Now how did you get here, and more importantly, how are you going to get yourself back out?"

"We are not in Hell, Sam."

"Don't be ridiculous, Cas." Sam stares at him in horror then. "Wait a second, you're not Cas! How could I be so stupid? So tell me, which of you is playing Cas, and which is playing Dean? I've figured it out, you might as well as just skip to the torture now, because I know that it's not real. None of this is real."

"Sam, are you feeling better?" Sam shoves Cas behind him instantly, because now Dean is Lucifer and Lucifer is standing there looking at him like he's crazy. 

"Go!" Sam tells Cas. "You can't have him!" he directs to Lucifer, planting himself in front of his friend. He will be so hurt for this, but he needs to protect Cas.

"Sam," Lucifer begins, holding up his hands to show he means no harm, "it's okay. Are you alright?"

"I'll shoot you," Sam tells him, knowing it's an empty threat as soon as he says it. 

"If that's what makes you feel better, I guess," answers Lucifer uncertainly. 

Sam clicks the safety off the gun. "Where's Adam?"

"He's in the dining room. Sam, I really think you should go back to bed."

Sam shuts his eyes as pain racks his body. He clenches his teeth as his vision fades to black. Then suddenly he's seeing a vision, terrifyingly similar to the ones he used to get when Azazel was preparing for Lucifer's rising. There's a black cloud with dark red throughout, descending on Sam, Dean, and Cas. When the cloud lifts, Cas is gone. Images begin flashing by, disjointed: Dean standing in the middle of a huge pile of glass, blood dripping from his hands as he ignores it; Michael, looking angry and hard; Zachariah saying, "You can't, Dean, Michael will take it as betrayal"; Dean's whispered promise, "I will come for you, Cas. I swear."

Sam's eyes fly open with a jolt. His throat is sore as though he's been yelling, and Lucifer, Cas, and Dean are surrounding him. Sam latches on to Lucifer's wrist as he throws Cas behind him again. "You can't have him!" he snarls again. 

"What was that?" Dean asks. "Sam, what was that?"

Sam doesn't answer. He pulls the gun up and trains it on Lucifer, eyeing him speculatively. Lucifer wisely removes himself from the group, hands up to show he means no harm as he backs off again. 

"I won't let you take him. That can't happen!" Sam insists. "Do whatever you need to do to me, but don't touch him."

"I don't want to hurt Castiel," Lucifer reassures him, but Sam is past the point of listening. He swings the gun up, the safety still off as he holds it beneath his chin. "What are you doing?" Lucifer barks, alarm in his voice for the first time in the conversation. Neither man notices Dean run off with purpose in his eyes.

"Letting this end the way you want it to," Sam answers him calmly, "because if I give you what you want you have no reason to come after him." His eyes drift shut as his finger tightens on the trigger. 

"Sam!" Adam yells, and Sam's finger stops a twitch away from death. His eyes shoot open and he makes eye contact with his half-brother. "Please don't," Adam begs, "please, Sam, please don't."

"I can't keep doing this: the torture, the hallucinations, I can't keep going. I'm so tired. I just need to rest."

Adam makes a shooing motion behind his back and Lucifer takes the hint, walking away. He tugs Cas with him, though Cas is looking at both men with concern in his eyes. Adam tells him, "It won't help. Sam, you won't get any peace if you pull that trigger now. They'll resurrect you, and they'll only be angry. You won't stop them, you'll make it worse."

"I can't keep going," Sam says brokenly, collapsing to the ground. "I can't. I've given everything there is. I see them, Adam, not the dead, but the living, and it's so much worse than anything I imagined. I keep thinking that maybe they've figured out some way to free me, that maybe Dean figured something out, or that if Cas can get him free from Alistair's rack then he can pull me out of Lucifer's Cage, and every time it's been a let down and a disappointment. It's not real, Adam!" Sam screams the last line.

"I need you to," Adam insists, crossing over to Sam and crouching down with him. He takes the gun from limp fingers, clicking the safety back on and shoving it away. Then he wraps his arms around Sam. "Sam, you can't give up now. Listen to me: Dean and Cas are brilliant, okay? And they do the impossible all the time. People tell them things aren't possible and they say 'eff you' and do it anyway. They're coming. They're going to rescue us. You just have to believe it."

"I'm so tired," echoes Sam. "I can't believe it."

"Then I'll believe it for the both of us. And I'll remind you, as often as you need to hear it. Come on, Sam," Adam says, helping his older brother to stand, "I'll watch over you for now. If they come, they'll have to take me instead."

He guides Sam back into bed easily, because Sam is through with fighting for now. Adam coaxes him to sleep, then goes into the bathroom to wet washclothes and lie them on Sam. He watches him sleep with trepidation, fearful of more hallucinations. 

Downstairs, Dean is pacing an agitated circle, new wings fluttering anxiously behind him. He can't control his wings right now, he's too upset, and it's fairly obvious. Cas is standing nearby, frown etched deeply into his mouth. Lucifer enters the room, shutting the door tightly behind him. "What the h*ll was that?" he asks grumpily.

"I don't know what the last part was, but the first was because of you."

"He was hallucinating Hell," Lucifer states, "wasn't he?"

"Yes," Dean says.

"He said that I wanted him to pull that trigger. I never asked him to die! Where did he get that idea?"

Dean slumps to the ground, wings curling tightly around his body. "After Cas and Crowley rescued Sam from Hell, we realized that they had left his soul behind. Soulless Sam was, to put it nicely, a monster. But he didn't have any recollection of his time in Hell, so we thought it was a blessing at first."

"What changed?"

"He tried to kill Bobby. He was already making irrational decisions, and that pushed us over the edge. I had a doctor kill me so I could make a deal with Death to get his soul back. After I played Death for a day, he put Sam's soul back into his body and built a wall in Sam's mind to keep the Hell memories behind so he wouldn't have to remember them. With the time down there, and the power of you and Michael, the memories would have been enough to kill him."

Lucifer huffs, seeing where this was going. "He broke the wall, didn't he?"

Dean says nothing, looking to Cas. 

"No," Castiel answers, "Sam wasn't responsible for breaking that wall. I was. I had been trying to instate myself as God, while fighting a war against Raphael. I needed extra power in order to beat Raphael, so I opened Purgatory and swallowed thousands of souls. Since I had that much power, I declared myself God. The Winchesters were not pleased with this development, and they tried to stop me. So I broke Sam's wall, because I knew that they wouldn't be able to stop me. If Sam was near death, Dean wouldn't leave him to hunt me."

"You were right about that part," Dean says, standing up and crossing over to Cas to take his hand. He turns back to Lucifer, sitting on the ground and yanking Cas into his lap. "For days Sam was inside his own mind, locked away. When he woke up, he swore he was fine. We went after Cas. But he lied. Bobby and I didn't realize it at first. We didn't realize anything was wrong until we chained Death and he told us that Sam had been struggling with his Hell memories. He had hallucinations. They got worse. He was unable to differentiate between reality and Hell, and then you came."

"Me?" Lucifer repeats incredulously. He certainly had not been a part of this!

"He started to see you. You spoke to him, helped him on some of our jobs, but in the end you turned against him like you always do. I think, when he said that this was what you wanted, that he forgot that he was actually seeing you and not a hallucination. Your hallucination self, Hallucifer, must have told him at some point that you wanted him to shoot himself. So now he was trying to give you what you wanted."

"I don't want Sam to kill himself! He doesn't do me any good if he's dead!" Lucifer says emphatically. He frowns, and then mutters, "He can't fall in love with me, or see how much I've changed, if he's dead."

Dean stares at him with shock and awe. "You're in love with him."

"I'm not!" Lucifer declares hotly. "Castiel, fix your boyfriend, there's something wrong with his brain."

Castiel does not zap Dean back to normal. Instead, he fixes Lucifer with a pitying look. "Sam will be alright, Lucifer. And I think, with time, he will grow to love you as you love him."

"He thinks I want him dead! That's not love!" Lucifer snarls.

Cas gives him a hard look. "Then I suggest you change his mind. Quickly. Woo him, Lucifer."

Lucifer rolls his eyes and leaves the room with a scoff. He finds his way upstairs, outside the room that he shares with Gabriel and Sam. He leans against the door, pressing an ear curiously against it. There's soft muttering that Lucifer can just barely identify as Adam, so he sits outside the door to wait out the fever.


	9. Fire and Fury

Sam wakes to hear his phone chime with an incoming message. He is covered in sweat, evidently his fever had broken. He hears a creaking sound and turns to see Adam come out of the bathroom. "Hey, you're awake again!" Adam exclaims happily. "Wait. Where are you at right now?"

Sam thinks this over a second. "I'm in that hotel, aren't I? The Elysian Fields Hotel?"

"Thank God," Adam breathes in response. "You're back to normal."

"I'm assuming I wasn't at some point?"

"You thought you were back in Hell. Screamed at Lucifer, tried to protect Cas, tried to commit suicide. You've been a mess, quite frankly."

Sam winces. He catches sight of his phone as he glances down at the bed and recalls the chime that woke him. He checks his messages. He's got a video message from an unknown number, which he clicks on. The video begins to play. A few seconds later, Sam bolts from the bed. "Dean! Cas! Dean!" he shouts as he sprints out the door. 

"Dean!" he yells again. No response. 

He runs downstairs, screaming bloody murder all the while. 

"My Lord, please call down. You'll work yourself back into a fever," Azazel says as he comes out of one of the rooms. 

"Don't call me that! Where's my brother?"

"I will show you the respect due to you as Lucifer's consort. Your brother is out house-hunting with Castiel and Michael. They forcibly removed him from the premises this morning."

"I will not be considered Lucifer's consort," Sam retorts hotly. He decides to pray to Cas to get him back here ASAP. "Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his rear end back here now. With my brother. Because it's life or death."

Cas responds immediately, blazing into the room, dragging Dean behind him. "Sam, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" he asks as he drops Dean's hand to fawn over Sam. Michael pops into existence a split second behind them, uncalled but obviously having figured out where they went.

"Stop it, I'm not hurt. It's Ben and Claire."

"Ben?" Dean echoes. "What's wrong with Ben? Nothing, because I left them safe and Cas wiped their memory," he answers himself. "They're fine, they're safe."

"They're not safe," contradicts Sam. "Look, I got this video. Watch it before you say anything else."

Dean takes the phone, angling so Cas can see it too. By the end of the video his teeth are clenched tight and he's shaking with fury. "D**n bloodsuckers! Videoing our children and threatening to hurt them, or to have Benny hurt them, which is almost worse- where are they? Where the f**k are our children, Cas?"

The video in question portrayed two young teenagers that Sam had identified as Ben and Claire. Both were chained and hanging in a room together, with copious surface wounds that were dripping blood. They were locked in a cage, and Benny was locked with them. In the background, the Alpha vampire had narrated that if Dean and Cas didn't show up soon, Benny would wind up killing the children. It was obvious from the video that that was true, Benny was holding himself back but it was equally clear he could lose his tenuous control at any second. 

Dean swore as the video stopped. "Cas, we have to-"

Cas interrupts with "Get your weapons. We're going after them."

Sam steps away from Azazel, shadowing Dean out to Baby. Dean hands him several blades, slamming the trunk then taking one of the blades back. Cas is suddenly there, removing the other blade from Sam's hands. "Claire prayed to me. I know where they are." He latches on to Dean and they vanish. 

"Hey!" Sam cries, affronted. "Cas!"

Cas pops back into existence directly in front of Sam. "What?" he replies. 

"I'm coming with you."

"No. You were sick, Sam, we thought you might die. You're not going with us."

"I have to, Cas. They're my family."

Cas clenches his jaw tightly. "My brothers will be displeased."

"I know. I still have to go."

Cas grabs Sam's wrist and they're vanishing from the hotel. When they reappear, they are outside a large warehouse. "We're going inside. You are going to get the children out and get out yourself. No fighting the vampires."

"Cas-"

"I will take you back right now unless you agree."

"Fine," Sam agrees sulkily. 

Dean is already sneaking into the warehouse as they approach. Cas and Sam hurry so they are directly behind him, entering with him. Sam can see the cage where the children are, so that's where he goes. There is one lone vampire guarding it, and Sam dispatches him effortlessly.

Claire is making tiny gasping noises as Sam works the door with his lock-picking kit, which worries him. He wrenches the door open as soon as he's able. 

"Sam?" Ben gasps. "I remember you! Does this mean- where's my dad? Where's Dean?"

Sam is working on the lock on the handcuffs around his wrist when he answers. "He's here, with Cas. They're going to kill the vampires. I'm getting you out of here."

He frees Ben finally, and Ben falls forward into his arms. "It's going to be fine, Ben, but you have to let go so I can help Claire."

He ignores Benny for now, seeing that the vampire is beginning to strain against the cuffs toward the children. Freeing him will be difficult, but Sam fully intends to do it. 

With another loud click, Claire is free and throwing her arms around Sam's neck. "Thank you!" she gasps as she releases him.

"Sam!" Benny yells. 

Sam's eyes fly up, and he sees a line of vampires surrounding the cage. The Alpha vampire is in the front, with the others fanned out behind him. Dean and Cas are nowhere to be found. 

"Release the children, Sam Winchester. We fully intend to eat them."

Sam grips the blade in his hands, raising it so he can use it. "Over my dead body."

"That can be arranged."

Sam hurls himself at him, slicing wildly with the knife. He's thrown against the cage wall, but he simply rebounds back and throws himself back at the vampire. It's a fight he's not going to win, he's certain. "Cas, I'm sorry," Sam thinks frantically as he's slammed into Claire, knocking them both to the ground. "I need your help."

But Cas has rarely responded to Sam's prayers before, and it doesn't seem he's going to now. Sam watches one of the vampires move closer to Ben, and suddenly the world is engulfed in flames. Everything is burning, flames gleefully licking higher. The vampire trying to get to Ben is the first to burn, but the others all follow him in his crispy ending until it's just Sam, Claire, Ben, and Benny left alive. 

Sam feels like he's about to fall over, hands shaking uncontrollably, but he manages to free Benny. 

"Sam?" Ben questions from behind him, "You're on fire."

"Thanks," Sam whispers, a tentative smile playing across his lips. "We need to get out of here."

"No, like, you're literally on fire," Ben tells him, but Sam ignores him. 

"Ben, take Claire and help her ahead of us. We need to find Dean and Cas. Benny, we're going to walk together back here," Sam instructs.

They set off together, Claire and Ben in front where Sam can see them. The flames, which had previously flared to life, suddenly die out, smoking piles of ash all that's left to commemorate the kidnapping vampires. "Sam, there's a strange symbol here on the wall!" Ben calls, and Sam quickly joins them. He identifies an angel-banishing symbol and swears. No wonder Cas didn't answer his prayers. This warrants the important question of who to pray to to get them back. Lucifer and Gabriel probably don't know he's gone, and will be pissed. Michael deserves to know that Dean and Cas are missing, but it wouldn't be fair to him to make him drag them back to the hotel before he's allowed to search for them. Balthazar never comes when he calls, or if he does he b***hes about it enough that Sam wishes he'd never asked in the first place. It's tempting to ask one of the other angels that he doesn't know well, but that's the cowards way out and he knows it.

He spreads his arms in a placating manner before he even begins praying. "Lucifer? Gabriel? Michael? I ah- I need your help, please."

Before he's even finished, he's throwing an arm over his eyes as Lucifer blazes into the room. "You're on fire!" he yells. Gabriel blazes into existence a second later, snapping his fingers and dumping water on Sam. 

"Sam, where are my husbands?" Michael demands as the third archangel appears.

"Michael, he's literally on fire, I think you can wait just a second," snaps Lucifer. 

"They were banished," Sam answers Michael, talking over Lucifer to do so. He gestures to the banishing symbol on the wall, and Michael growls as he stares at it.

Lucifer, in the meantime, has spotted the children. "No!" he exclaims as he sets eyes on Ben. "No way, no how. I did not sign up for this, no sir. I don't even like Dean that much, I am not doing mini-Dean care. Huh-uh."

"He's not mini-Dean," argues Sam. "This is Ben. He needs our help."

"I'm not adopting him. I don't know the first thing about children."

Hazel eyes roll. "You're not adopting him. You're taking us back to the hotel so we can make sure they're safe."

Before Lucifer can retort as he so obviously wants to, Dean and Cas appear in yet another bright flash of light. Dean's green wings are behind him, and he's gripping his sword so tightly his knuckles are white around it. He looks like he's going into battle, and even though Sam has seen him battle-ready thousands of times, the wings add such a different look that he nearly doesn't recognize his own brother. 

"Sammy, are you all okay?"

"Fine, Dean."

"What happened to the vampires?" Cas asks, looking around as though he expects to be jumped at any second.

"Sam took care of them all!" Ben exclaims.

If looks could kill, Sam would be dead. "I made you promise you would not fight them," scolds Cas.

"I didn't!" At Cas' skeptical look, he amends, "Just the one. And I didn't even kill it. The freak fire took care of it. Besides, they were going for the kids! What did you want me to do- throw myself into the vampire's arms and say 'Eat me first'?" 

"Do not be ridiculous, that was not my intention. I did not wish you to elevate your fever into dangerous levels again."

"I feel better then I've felt in a long time."

Dean has moved over beside Benny to catch up with him, the two of them muttering together in low voices. Although they're quiet, it's not enough for Sam to miss what's being said. "That brother of yours killed all the other vampires with his fire and voice show he did, Brother."

"He did what?" Dean asks.

"What?" Sam echoes, moving to make direct eye contact with the vampire.

"You don't know?" Benny tries to confirm. Seeing Sam's confused expression he clarifies, "Don't you realize you set that fire that killed all those vampires?"

"I think I would know if I set a fire, Benny."

"One would think so, but apparently not."

"Yeah, you set the fire, Sam," Ben tells him.

Claire adds, "The fire flew out of your hands!"

"So you're telling me fire just flew out of my hands and magically caught the vampires on fire?" Three nods answer the question. Sam turns to the angels before he makes his next point, "And you all tell me I was the one hallucinating."

"It's true, Brother," Benny says to Dean. "The children were in danger and he just spread his arms out and flexed his fingers, and fire spewed from them! But before it hit anything, he asked everyone, 'What is your intentions toward my family?' and you couldn't lie to him. I told him honestly I wanted to eat them, and he just said, 'I don't think you're telling the truth.' And that was that, and everyone around us was burning."

"I was in control of that fire?"

"Yes!" three very exasperated voices tell the tall hunter.

"Can you try to summon it back?" Cas asks, head tilted to the side as he contemplates something.

Sam shrugs. He tries to recall the feelings that he had before the fire had sprung into being, and within seconds he has a small flame concentrated to his palms. "Oh my God!" Sam screams, dropping to the ground and trying to put the fire out. "Get it off, get it off!"

Lucifer drops alongside him. "Sam, listen to me," he begins rationally, "you need to calm down. You're hyperventilating." No response. "Sam, can you hear me?" Sam nods, still hyperventilating. "Can you give me your hand?" The fire on his right hand goes out as he extends his hand to Lucifer. Lucifer puts it palm-down onto his stomach. "Breathe with me, Sam." Lucifer sucks in a long breath, listening to Sam copy him. Sam's breath stutters out, so Lucifer releases his own and takes another deep breath. This time, Sam copies him perfectly. 

"I'm going to take your other hand. Try to keep the fire going for me, okay?" He does as he said, taking Sam's hand and cradling it gently. The fire flares brighter at his touch, but it makes no move to hurt him. 

Lucifer grits his teeth and throws his hand into the fire. He hears Sam gasp and the fire extinguishes, but that one touch has told him what he wanted to know. "It's hellfire," he announces. 

"What does that mean?" Dean asks, but at the same time, Sam questions, "Why?"

"Why do I know it's hellfire, or why do you have it?"

"Both."

"I feel the difference between regular fire and hellfire. They're subtle differences, but after eons in the Cage I know the difference. Hellfire can burn demons, which is most likely the reason you have it- to help us rule Hell."

"I don't want it," Sam mumbles, but Lucifer hears him just the same. 

"I know, Sam," was the response. "Believe me, I know."

Dean comes over and yanks Sam to his feet. "Let's go back to the hotel. I don't feel safe out in the open like this."

"Don't trust a group of angels to protect you, Dean-o?" teases Gabriel. 

Dean ignores him, so Gabriel throws him over his shoulder and zaps them both back to the hotel. Ben screams, "Dean!"

"He's fine, it's okay, Gabriel's just being a brat," Sam soothes. 

"I'll take you back, Ben," Michael offers, waiting for the boy's nod before they vanish. 

Cas takes Benny and Claire, and soon it's just Lucifer and Sam standing together. Sam is fidgeting and backing up slowly, probably subconsciously but that doesn't make it hurt less. "Ready, Sam?"

Sam nods, so Lucifer holds out his hand. Sam's fingers slip into his, palms interlocking before Lucifer flies them back.

Their arrival at the hotel lands them in the middle of a tense atmosphere. Ben is glaring at Dean and they've obviously come back in the middle of a conversation.

"Well I wouldn't worry about what Mom will think, because she's dead, Dean."

Dean makes a strangled gasping sound. "What?"

"She died. Last year. Car accident. And CPS came and took me away. But you know, I hit my head on the dashboard really hard- I broke my skull- and when I woke up, I suddenly remembered I had a Dad, but nobody believed me."

"Lisa's dead?" Dean repeats.

Ben nods. "Why did you leave? We wanted you around! I wanted you! Didn't that matter?"

"It did," Dean promises, "I swear it did. But I couldn't. It wasn't fair to you and your mom for me to keep popping in and out like I did, and she was beginning to resent me for it. So I did what I had to do."

"You didn't have to wipe our memories."

"I did. Crowley had already kidnapped you guys, and I knew that if I didn't completely bail out of your lives you would never be safe. So I had Cas wipe your memories after your mom almost died."

"It hurt him more than anything he's ever done," Sam chimes in quietly. "I wasn't allowed to talk about you guys any more. He hurt too, Ben, I promise."

"We were happy with you, and I thought you were happy with us. What changed?"

"Sam came back from Hell. I took the break from hunting, but I couldn't stay away forever. Hunting is like my drug, my addiction. I can't stop it even if I want to, and I don't want to. So I went with him."

Ben shakes his head. "You could have come back."

"I couldn't. Your mom was starting to resent me, I told you that."

"I needed you. You could have come to visit me."

"You were better off without me. So was she."

"How could you say that?" Ben demands as Dean deems the conversation over and turns away. "Better for me to not remember my father? Better for me to go into foster care? She was right to kick you out. I HATE YOU!"

"What did you just say?" Dean asks as he turns.

"That I hate you!"

"No, no, before that."

"About CPS?"

"Before that."

Understanding lights Ben's eyes. "She didn't tell you, did she? You're my dad, Dean."

"She always told me it was a guy with a motorcycle, a one-night stand she met at a bar."

"Substitute the motorcycle for an Impala and that's true."

Dean's face is pale as Death's. "You're my son?"

"Duh. Even he figured it out within seconds," he claims with a flippant gesture to Lucifer. 

"I-" Dean starts. He never finishes the sentence, trailing off to stare at Ben with confusion. Then he stalks outside.

A loud crash is heard seconds later. Cas moves over to the window, head tilted as he watches Dean. 

"What was that?" Ben demands.

"The shattering of the Impala's back right window. He's got a crowbar and is breaking the window." Another crash, and Cas reports, "that was the back windshield."

Ben launches himself out the door, grabbing hold of Dean's arm before he can bring the crowbar down again. He screams at Dean, and Dean screams back, and then they both walk inside together. 

"Okay," Sam cuts in, "I think that's enough for now. We have time for more family drama tomorrow."

Without giving anyone a chance to argue, he puts his hand on Ben's shoulder and drags him away to Baldur for a hotel room. In minutes Ben is settled into a room on the second floor near the Winchesters. Claire ends up in a room across from him, and Benny gets a room on the first floor. 

Sam goes out to Adam's car and pulls the enormous pile of textbooks into the hotel. He sets up in the lobby with the stack of books and a fresh notebook. Before he can crack open the book, Gabriel is pulling it out of his hands and giving him a large bowl of ice cream. Sam stares at him with a cocked eyebrow.

"Oh, right, sorry. Healthy stuff, I remember." Gabriel snaps his fingers and suddenly Sam has a green smoothie similar to the one he had for breakfast the day of the food fight. 

"Thanks, but I'm not thirsty."

"Drink it anyway. It's good."

Sam gives Gabriel a suspicious look. "What did you put in it?"

"Nothing to deserve that face, I can promise you that." Sam gives him another look. "Really, it's nothing special. But you're sad and I'm trying to fix you, so I'd appreciate if you drank it so I can feel like I did something."

That's really all he has to say to make Sam feel guilty. He drinks the smoothie in about three gulps, handing the empty cup to Gabriel, who vanishes it with a snap. "Thanks," Sam tells him. "Sit with me?"

Gabriel crawls onto the couch like a gangly colt, but he manages to get comfortable quickly, snuggling into Sam and shutting his eyes. Sam grabs the textbook he was going to start with and flips it open, dropping a hand to mindlessly stroke Gabriel's hair as he does so. Gabriel purrs low in his throat.

"Well, if you two are comfortable, I'll get back to hunting for a nice area for a house," Lucifer offers. "Any particular region of the world you're partial to, Sam?"

"Where's Dean going to be?"

"They decided to be close to Bobby earlier today. Michael told me they're setting up the new house about twenty-five miles from where he lives."

"Something close to that, then. If that's fine with you and Gabriel, that is."

Lucifer shrugs. "Anything other than my Cage will be a welcome relief."

Sam gives an unhappy smile at that.

"I'll build the house, we'll show you tomorrow. Anything you don't like, we can fix easily. I can do all of the furnishings and stuff too. Oh, and Michael wants to get some wedding planning done tomorrow, so be sure you don't go to bed too late."

"Alright."

Lucifer stands there for a second longer. "Did you need something?" Sam asks.

"Hmm?" Lucifer shakes himself out of his thoughts. "No, no. I'll just, be going then." He vanishes quickly.

Sam shrugs, trying to think over Lucifer's behavior before turning back to the textbook in his hands. He begins taking notes on what might be helpful for ruling Hell and quickly forgets all about his boyfriend's strange behavior.


	10. New House

Sam wakes before the sun the next morning. He realizes Lucifer is staring intensely at him, a la Dean and Cas, and after a moment registers that Gabriel is plastered to him. 

"Good, you're up." Lucifer says. He smacks Gabriel with a pillow. "Up, lazybones! Sam is finally awake and we're going on a tour of our brand new house!"

Gabriel comes awake grousing, "Why are you up at 5:30 in the morning?! Even the sun doesn't wake up for another hour!"

"I haven't slept yet! And I just had three large cups of coffee, so I'm not tired!"

"Phenomenal," Gabriel whines, flopping back down onto Sam and thrusting the pillow Lucifer hit him with over his face.

Sam pokes him. "Come on, Gabriel. He's probably going to keep fussing until we humor him."

"I'm hurt. I've been working on this for hours, and you guys don't even care," Lucifer complains theatrically.

"I'm up," Gabriel reassures him, yanking himself away from Sam and snapping his fingers to create a huge cup of coffee. He drains it in one gulp, then tosses the cup over his shoulder. It vanishes with a snap before it hits the ground. "Alright, I'm ready. Let's go. Lead the way, brother."

"No, I don't want to now," Lucifer says. He flops down on top of Sam, knocking all the air out of him. "Oh, sorry!" He jerks right back up, sitting on the couch arm so he's off Sam.

Gabriel sniggers. "Are you going to make me beg, Lulu?"

"Don't call me that! You know I hate that nickname!"

"My darling brother," Gabriel says, taking Lucifer's hand and slipping on to one knee, "would you do me the honor of showing me the house we're going to live in for the rest of our lives?"

"Are you trying to propose marriage, or see a house?" Sam needs to know. 

"Both. Definitely both."

Lucifer reaches down and yanks Gabriel up, catching him before he overbalances and falls back on his face. "Alright, good enough. Let's go!"

"Hold up, I definitely need a shower before we go anywhere. I'm still all sweaty from when the fever broke, and fighting those vamps last night didn't leave me smelling too fresh, either."

"I can think of some better reasons why I'd like you sweaty," Gabriel intones.

Sam pulls a b***hface at him. "Behave. I'll be back in ten minutes." He darts away to their room on the second floor. Nine minutes later he is back, hair still damp, and yanking on a plaid shirt overtop a black tanktop. "Ready!"

Lucifer reaches out, allowing Sam to make the decision to take his hand. After a moment's hesitation, he does. Lucifer throws them onto 'Angel Express' and back out, so they land in front of their house.

Their house is a two-story Cape Cod style. The exterior is painted white. It's fairly large, much bigger than Sam had thought it would be. "Oh!" The startled exclamation punches from him unconsciously as he stares at the house in wonder. 

Lucifer leads them to the door and they go inside for the first time. Off to their right is a door that leads to a three-car garage. There's nothing in there now, of course, so they don't spend much time there.

Back in the main portion of the house, there's a small hallway leading back when you first walk in. A set of stairs leads toward the second story, which goes ignored for now. As they go back the hall, they find a living room with a huge flat-screen TV. There's a large sectional directly in front, big enough for the three of them to sit comfortably. Other couches and chairs surround the TV. 

If you walk through the living room, you come to the kitchen. It's huge. There's chrome appliances everyone, and over half the things Sam sees he doesn't know the name for. Gabriel whoops and runs over to the industrial fridge, which is big enough for him to crawl into. Once he's back out, he snaps his fingers and puts tons of groceries inside. "Breakfast here today," he decides. "A kitchen this beautiful deserves to be broken in pronto."

"You cook?"

"I've been on Earth for thousands of years. The things I know how to do would probably shock you, Samshine. But yes, I do cook. It's a past-time I greatly enjoy."

"Oh."

Their dining room table, the next stop, looks big enough to host most of the demons that are currently lodging in the Elysian Fields with them. It might be slightly over-the-top. It's made of oak and fairly sturdy. Gabriel throws most of his body weight on it with a smirk. "This will work great."

"For what?" Sam asks, curious as to what he's thinking.

"Table sex."

Sam makes a scandalized face. "People eat there!"

"Oh, I plan to eat there too. I just won't be dining on anything that anyone else will be allowed to taste." Lucifer clears his throat and Gabriel tacks on, "Except you, of course. Or maybe Sam, because I think taking you on this table sounds like a fabulous idea." He finishes this statement with a lascivious wink at his brother.

"You're making Sam uncomfortable," observes Lucifer.

"Sorry, sweetheart," Gabriel apologizes, wrapping both arms around Sam's waist.

Sam squirms free. "Let's just continue the tour."

The bathroom is large but unremarkable. There's a washer and dryer in it, along with a toilet and a small shower. "This is the guest bathroom. Ours is upstairs," Lucifer tells them. There's about six or seven guest bedrooms on the first floor as well. "Just in case," Lucifer explains. "I figured we would probably have Dean as a guest frequently, if no one else."

They troop upstairs. Apparently, the entire top floor is compromised of their living space. There's a huge master bedroom, complete with large walk-in closets for the three of them. Lucifer also has a few large wardrobes set up. Their master bathroom has a tub that's large enough for bathing about ten German Shepherds at the same time. On top of that, there's a shower as well. Sam stares at it all in shock. It's a nice place, it's a nice home, but there's nothing in it that seems like he would live there. It's suitable, and he'll probably enjoy having his own space, but...

"Here, Sam," Lucifer calls. "I made this specifically for you."

Sam follows him down the hallway, trying not to feel suspicious. Lucifer opens a door and Sam enters, then stops with a gasp. "Oh!" Lucifer has made a wonderful library. There's a small fireplace with a nice-looking leather chair next to it. A desk is tucked unobtrusively under a small window. And the library itself is...there aren't words for it. The entire room is lined in books, enough that you need a ladder to reach some of them. Sam has never seen a library this large in his life, and now there's one in his house. 

"I arranged the books by information type. There's lore on demons here, werewolves over here, ghosts, shifters, you get the picture. I got a lot of this stuff on demons from Crowley and Azazel, it's a wedding gift for you from them. There's leisure books over here, though honestly I wasn't quite sure what you read for leisure so I just picked a bunch of random things. Dean suggested some titles, so I made sure to include those, but I still can't promise we got everything. If you think of any you want and don't have just let me know. Oh, and of course you can reorganize anything, I wasn't sure how to set it up so I just guessed. They're arranged by section, then alphabetically by author's last name for now but if you want it any other way I can change it."

Sam stares at it with his mouth hanging open. "This is all for me?"

"Do you like it?" It's asked uncertainly.

"How can I not? It's perfect!"

"Thank my Father. I made something else, too, for you. Well, for all of us, but I'll show you yours first." Connected to the library is a bedroom. This bedroom is more decently sized, clearly meant for just one person. It's decorated in navy blues. There is a bathroom connected to it as well, with a shower that is normal-sized as well.

Sam turns to Lucifer. "I don't understand. What is this bedroom for? Ours is the huge one, isn't it?"

"Well, yes, but I didn't want to assume that you would want to be with us all the time. Gabriel and I can both be a lot, and I'm under no illusions that you want to be here. So, I made you your own bedroom. This way, when you're sick of us and just want to be left alone, you can come here. Ideally, we'd both appreciate it if you kept to the large bedroom as much as possible, but this is your escape place. And I put a shower in so you can be clean without us, too. I noticed you were uncomfortable the other day, so just in case after we get married, you still don't want to see us naked, you have your own shower."

Impulsively, Sam gives Lucifer a hug. "Thank you!" he exclaims sincerely. "I like it a lot, and that's really nice of you to think of this."

"You're welcome, Sam. I'm glad you like it," Lucifer tells him, cautiously returning the hug. He doesn't want to scare Sam away.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss," Gabriel chants behind them, causing Sam to jump away. He had forgotten Gabriel was in the house with them. He scrambles over to the bed and grabs one of his pillows to beat Gabriel with. He gets in one good swing before Gabriel realizes what he's up to, and then he's powering away with his wings. He snaps his fingers with an impish smile, hanging upside down as Sam gets covered in feathers. "You look like a chicken," he provides.

"Get down here, angel-boy. I'll make you look like one too."

"No thanks," Gabriel replies. He sticks out his tongue.

Lucifer has taken the opportunity to fly up behind Gabriel and knock him to the ground. "Get him, Sam!" he yells as he pins his brother to the ground so he can't fly away.

Sam grabs a pillow and wallops Gabriel with it. The dumb thing bursts after the second time, and they all laugh as Gabriel is covered in downy feathers. A few make it into his mouth, and he spits them out. Gabriel seems to suddenly remember he is supposed to be protesting this, so he bucks against Lucifer. His older brother is stronger and Gabriel stays where he is, which is convenient for Sam to grab another pillow and beat him with.

Gabriel rolls so he is on top of Lucifer, then conjures up his own pillow. "Any last words?" he questions cheekily before hitting Lucifer.

Lucifer flips them again as he takes a swing, so Gabriel somehow ends up on top of the pillow he was going to beat Lucifer with. "Never underestimate me, little brother," he play-snarls.

Gabriel tries one last time to take control of the fight. He flops back against the floor as Lucifer catches him again. "Fine. Mercy," he says, and Lucifer lets him up. "Thought maybe I'd gotten stronger since the last time," he complains. "Guess not."

"You'll never outrank or outfight me, little brother."

Lucifer looks around for Sam, realizing they've lost him as they started wrestling together. He finds him quickly- in the library, just staring at the shelves. "Oh, sorry. I got a bit distracted."

"You're such a nerd," Gabriel teases, messing up Sam's hair as he ruffles it. "Some people would be distracted by the wrestling, you're distracted by the idea of books."

"Is there anything that doesn't turn sexual with you?" Sam gripes.

Gabriel shrugs, unconcerned. "My pranks are often not of a sexual nature. Though I could definitely make an exception."

"That's fine, you don't have to make an exception for me," Sam blurts, so quickly the words almost run together. He narrows his eyes as he thinks of something. "You haven't done many pranks lately."

Gabriel shrugs again, not making eye contact. "Didn't think you'd appreciate it."

Sam frowns. "It's a part of your personality."

"Wouldn't be the first time someone didn't like a part of me."

"But we're getting married. For all of eternity. Don't change that just for me. I- sometimes, I enjoy your pranks. Sometimes they are funny, and in my world we don't get excuses to laugh very often."

"Yeah, alright," Gabriel mutters, kicking his feet as he still looks away. A pleased smile makes its way across his face, though he tries his best to hide it. Sam takes Gabriel's face in his hand and gently turns him so he's making eye contact, then plants a kiss on his lips.

"If you two are done being mushy, I have to show you Gabriel's and my rooms yet."

Sam jumps. "Sorry."

"Stop apologizing." Lucifer leads them to another room. This room is the bright and garish spectacle Sam has come to expect from Gabriel. It's patterned in an ugly neon yellow shade, then splattered with other neon colors. The resulting eyesore leaves Sam squinting. The bed is opulent and overly-large, which Gabriel immediately jumps on. "It's perfect!" he decides, as he flies off the bed and hits the wall, laughing all the while. "I love it!"

Lucifer is watching his brother with a fond smile on his lips. Without thinking about it, Sam takes his hand and links their fingers together. Lucifer raises their joined hands to his lips and kisses Sam's hand.

Sam's entire face is on fire. It's flaming like the hellfire that is apparently now coursing through his veins. 

"Sam?" Lucifer questions.

"Mmm?"

"Take a breath," Lucifer reminds him.

Sam gasps in a breath, and instantly feels a bit calmer. "Sorry," he mumbles.

Lucifer smirks. "Don't be. It's flattering."

"Flattering?" Sam echoes confusedly.

"Not like I had many people to flirt with, in my Cage. So it's flattering to know I'm doing it right."

Gabriel jumps off the bed and sprints over to them. "D**n it!" he exclaims. "Did I miss your first kiss?"

"No, I only kissed the back of his hand."

"Good! I was going to be really disappointed if I missed that. I wanted to watch you kiss him for the first time."

"Remind me to hide in a closet when the time comes," Sam whispers to Lucifer. "That way we don't reward the voyeur."

"I HEARD THAT!" Gabriel cries, sounding a bit affronted.

Lucifer rolls his eyes. He grabs his brother and hauls him out of the room, and into yet another room. "This one is mine. Nothing spectacular, okay, we've seen everything up here there is to see." Sam barely gets a glimpse of light red before the door is being pulled shut. "There's a weapons room in the basement," he tells them, leading them down the first flight of stairs.

In what Sam had thought was a closet in the kitchen is actually the stairs leading to the basement. The basement is painted white, offset by dark wood that Sam thinks might be mahogany. The wood cabinets have glass doors, and many weapons are stored within them- everything from angel blades to guns to hex bags. "The weapons are half of your own weapons collection, Sam. Dean split everything fifty-fifty. He kept the angel blade though, and your knife is over here. The rest of the weapons are a combination of Gabriel's and mine. We have two archangel blades over here that you could grab if you needed them for some reason. I took the liberty of making the demon knife warded so only you can grab it. The archangel blades can only be taken by the three of us as well, that way someone can't come into our house and grab one and kill us."

Gabriel balances on one of the dark blue mats for a moment, in a section of the room Lucifer clearly designated for sparring. That half of the room is covered in dark blue mats, Sam assumes so he can be thrown around without getting seriously injured. He rocks back and forth for a moment before launching himself into a backward flip.

"I'm starving," Lucifer whines. "Let's go eat."

The three men troop back upstairs. Gabriel quickly takes charge in the kitchen, which is good because Sam has been known to char toast on occasion. (Occasion meaning every time he had cooked before.) Within half an hour even Sam's stomach is rumbling, but Gabriel has an amazing fruit platter prepared, on top of egg sandwiches with bacon, sausage, and ham available. He leads them out to the huge dining room and shrinks the table so it's smaller and closer.They eat their breakfast with their legs tangled under the table and their elbows bumping, but it's nice and domestic and Sam actually enjoys it.

Lucifer glances at his watch as they finish and swears. "Michael will be looking for us. We need to go, now." Gabriel snaps his fingers so the dishes are clean and put away and sends them back to the hotel.

"No, Michael, I'm not leaving until I know where Sam is," Dean's arguing ardently when they arrive back at Elysian Fields. "He could be kidnapped, he could be dead,"

"He could be standing right behind you," Sam interrupts.

"Where the h**l were you? I've been looking for you!"

"Lucifer took us to see our new house. We were having breakfast and lost track of time."

Michael looks agitated as he says, "There, Dean, you see? Now can we go please?"

"Fine," Dean growls, still looking mutinous.

Michael throws them all to New York City via Angel Express. Sam staggers and falls to the ground for a second as he tries to get his stomach under control. Dean pukes all over the sidewalk. 

Cas cleans him with a snap and a disappointed look Michael's direction. 

"Sorry," Michael offers. "I was too eager to get here."

They troop inside the nearest store. "Holy s**t!" Dean squawks. "Michael, what the f**k are we doing here?"

"Shopping for wedding suits," Michael answers blandly, tone obviously implying 'duh.'

"At Louis Vuitton??!!! Sam and I don't have that kind of money!"

"We are to be married, what's mine is yours, and I have plenty of money. Sam's suit is to be covered by Gabriel. So if you're done complaining, please pick a suit to marry me in."

Dean troops off dubiously, still looking close to passing out. The security guard eyes him suspiciously as he heads toward the racks. Dean looks at the first suit, then makes the mistake of looking at the price tag. "Michael??!!" he hisses across the store. "Come here!"

"What?"

"This blazer is $1,200!"

"So it is."

Michael slips the blazer off the rack and hands it to Dean. "Here, try this on."

"I can't! It's expensive, man!"

"The whole store is expensive. It's fine. Go pick yourself out something nice."

Michael begins pulling various outfits off the racks, throwing them onto Dean's arms since Dean still hasn't even so much as glanced at the outfits. Within minutes Dean has a mound of clothes in his arms. "There. Try them. Do not look at the price. Pick one you like."

Dean walks off still griping.

"What do you think?" Cas asks, coming out of the dressing room. Sam blinks at him, how did Cas manage to find a whole outfit while he's just stood there and watched Dean gawk at the store?

The suit Cas has on is nice. It looks good on him- objectively speaking, Sam doesn't want to throw himself into Cas' arms and declare undying love- and hugs his body nicely. Sam smirks. "Turn around?" Cas obliges him. "Mmm," Sam hums, "I don't know, Cas. It looks a little tight around your butt. You might be able to get away with it, though. I'd ask Dean what he thinks."

Cas trots off with a "DEAN! HOW DOES THIS SUIT LOOK AT MY BUTT?" and Sam can just barely hear Dean stutter and stammer over a reply.

Lucifer's body shakes with mirth. "He looked fine."

"Yeah, he did," Sam admits.

"Are you going to pick something, or are you going to be difficult like your brother?"

Sam stalks away to the racks. He takes his time methodically going through them, picking some outfits that he thinks he might like. In the end he has about five different combinations, and he hopes that's enough.

The first outfit he puts on is white. It's Sam's tongue-in-cheek way of mocking this whole idea, he's dressing himself up as a sacrifice. Or a virgin, which he is not. So, just a sacrifice. He looks pure and clean and completely innocent.

Gabriel raps on the door. "C'mon, Sam, I want a show."

Sam pulls the door open.

"Yummy," Gabriel declares, but Sam is focused on Dean. His brother is dressed handsomely in classic black, but his face is nearly as white as Sam's suit. "No! Not that one, not that one. Anything but that. I hate it!"

Sam looks down at himself skeptically. "Really? That bad?"

"I like it," Gabriel counters.

"I like it too," Lucifer adds.

For some reason, Dean seems to take offense to Lucifer's disagreement. He steps closer, until it's clear he's ready to fight if Lucifer dares disagree again. "I said I don't like it."

"It's the cut, isn't it?" Sam asks, staring at himself in the mirror. "It's too close to my chest and hugs my arms a hair too tight."

Dean looks relieved, as though Sam has given him a legitimate reason to hate the suit. "Yep, that's it. Too close to the crotch and the thighs."

Sam arches an eyebrow. His brother is acting really strange. "I said my chest and arms."

"That too."

Sam frowns at himself in the mirror once more before going back to the dressing room. The next four outfits don't look nice either, so soon he's back out in the waiting area. 

"What do you think?" Dean asks, arms spread wide. It's a black suit again, with a white shirt beneath. Dean's wearing a green tie that perfectly matches his eyes. "I look stupid, don't I?"

"Wow," is the only thing Sam can say. Michael is gaping at Dean, unable to answer, and Cas decides to resolve the issue by climbing Dean like a tree and kissing him until Dean nearly falls. 

"Castiel," reprimands Michael, and Cas backs off. 

"I like this one," Dean decides. 

"Did you guys find anything?" Sam asks Lucifer and Gabriel quietly. 

"We've had ours," Gabriel says. 

"Oh. Then why are we here?"

"So you could look for something."

"I don't think this place is my style."

Gabriel snorts. "It's not. It's Michael's, so thanks for playing nicely." 

Lucifer studies his watch for a moment. "We need to go," he decides, and without another word he is hauling Sam out of the store and onto the busy sidewalk.

"Let go!" Sam protests, bothered by the fact that his arm is held like he's a prisoner or a disobedient child. Lucifer doesn't acknowledge him, and Sam tries to ignore the burst of fear that travels down his spine. "Lucifer, let go or I'll make a scene."

"Let him go," Gabriel commands, and Lucifer drops Sam's arm instantly. Gabriel rolls whiskey-colored eyes. "You're freaking him out. You're going to ruin our date before it even starts."

"Date?" Sam echoes.

"Duh. Haven't you always wanted to go to the Big Apple? We're on our first date together, and we're about to miss our Broadway show, so come on!"

He jumps out into traffic and hails a taxi. Sam crawls inside next to Gabriel, Lucifer crowding into him from the other side. His head is reeling, but he's excited about the date to come. He relaxes back against the seat and gives control over to the two archangels next to him.


	11. Date

They take Sam to see Aladdin on Broadway, which he loves. The guy playing the genie is so good he gets a standing ovation during 'Friend Like Me' and the poor man is so impacted he's nearly in tears. It's awesome. 

Afterward, they take him to the Empire State Building. Gabriel beats his chest and whoops like King Kong, and Sam and Lucifer both laugh at him. The other guests appear bemused by Gabriel's antics, thankfully, and not annoyed by them. 

The Empire State Building is followed by the 9/11 Memorial, F.A.O. Schwartz to play the giant floor piano, Times Square, the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island, Saint Patrick's Cathedral, and Trump Towers. The Central Park Zoo rounds out the trip, and before they realize it they're sitting down for a picnic. 

"No, the red panda was the best," Sam is telling Lucifer, "so you're wrong."

Lucifer shakes his head no. "Actually, the best animal would either be the elephant or the penguin. God said so."

"You're lying," Sam challenges, which makes Lucifer laugh. 

"Perhaps, but can you prove it?"

Sam can't, so he doesn't answer. Instead, he lays back on the blanket, allowing the warm August sun to beat down on his face. "This was great. Thanks, guys."

"We're glad you liked it," Gabriel tells him. 

"Yeah. Good idea."

"Oh, it wasn't my idea. It was Lucifer's."

Sam jerks upright again in shock. "Wait, really?"

"I've been inside your head," Lucifer reminds him. "I've seen a lot of things about you. That's how I knew you'd never come to the Big Apple, but you wanted to. It's also how I was able to make our house."

Sam falls silent as he thinks that over, laying back on the blanket again. He's almost asleep when he hears a snap and opens his eyes to realize Gabriel has conjured up small cupcakes for them. "What do you guys think, can I fit two of these in my mouth at once?"

"Definitely!" Sam agrees. 

"Guess we know who the gay one is," Lucifer mutters. He makes eye contact with his brother and snickers. 

Gabriel holds the eye contact and proceeded to stuff three small cupcakes into his mouth. He eats them quickly, getting icing all over his face. To top it off, he drags his fingers through the icing on his face, licking off his fingers with a moan similar to one he used on Casa Erotica. 

Lucifer pounces on him, kissing him so fiercely it's hard to tell where one blonde ends and the other begins. Sam looks away then, fingers tugging at the grass surrounding them as Gabriel moans and Lucifer answers him with a growl. Gabriel surges up against him, the brothers battling for dominance. Sam grabs a cupcake and pulls the wrapper off, popping one into his mouth while they're occupied so he can't be accused of being sexual. It's good, so he eats another one.

Gabriel pushes Lucifer off of him. "I think-" he pushes Lucifer again as Lucifer tries to climb back onto him, "Sam's feeling jealous."

"Definitely not," Sam disagrees. "I'm enjoying the cupcakes." He unwraps a third, but Lucifer is quicker and bites it out of his hand. Sam stares at him, mouth agape, and Lucifer winks at him as he eats. "That was mine."

"Was," Lucifer agrees. He unwraps one for himself, then dangles it out in front of Sam. "You want it? Come get it." Sam bites for it, lunging so he's forced to catch himself before he faceplants into Lucifer's crotch. Lucifer yanks it away and holds it between his teeth, eyes dancing. 

"Lost cause," Sam decides, surrendering the cupcake.

Gabriel laughs. "Where's your sense of adventure?" He leans forward, crawling into Lucifer's lap to pluck the cupcake from his brother's lips. "You could've had it if you tried harder, Mooselet."

Sam doesn't respond, flopping back onto the blanket and relaxing in the sunshine. He lets out a contented sigh. "This is nice."

He feels Lucifer join him- can tell it's him from the slightly colder arm that brushes against him- and opens his eyes again, shielding them against the glare of the sun to look for Gabriel. "Coming?" he invites the other archangel.

"Nah. This has been fun, but I'm off." Without another word, he's gone.

Sam sits up in alarm. "Gabriel?" he calls. "Are you okay? Did we- I- do something?" Gabriel doesn't respond, and he doesn't come back.

"He's okay," reassures Lucifer, "he just wanted to check out the M&M store that was in Times Square."

Sam lays back down in relief. He's almost asleep, curled against Lucifer and basking in the warmth, when Gabriel pops back in. He has a giant industrial size of M&Ms with him. "So, did you talk?" he demands of his brother.

"No."

"Did you tell him you're sorry? Did you have sex? Was it kinky?"

"No, no, and no."

"I can tell why you're marrying him. You have emotional repression issues to rival Dean."

"You have the emotional range of a teaspoon," Sam mutters. Both archangels freeze and stare at him, not that he notices with his arm still slung over his eyes.

"What?" Gabriel questions.

"Harry Potter."

"I thought you were asleep," Lucifer says accusatorially. 

"Almost," Sam mumbles. 

"Sam?" Gabriel begins. 

Sam grunts. 

"We've both noticed something. You kiss me, but not Lucifer. How come?"

Sam mumbles something and rolls over onto his stomach.

"What?"

"Lucifer!" Poor Sam startles upright, fumbling for a weapon before coming up with the picnic basket in lieu of a better option. He's ready to swing until he identifies Michael, who clearly just popped in to interrupt their date and to save Sam from answering Lucifer's question. "I've been calling you! We're supposed to be picking a wedding venue! Did you lose the schedule I gave you?"

"I threw it out," Lucifer answers honestly. 

"Seriously? No, don't answer that. In fifteen days I'm becoming Mr. Michael Winchester and we have nothing ready except the suits! This is important, Lucifer. More important than the garrison, more important than the Apocalypse, more important than the moment Dean was born! And I thought I was unprepared then, but I'm completely unprepared now!"

"Take a breath, brother. I doubt Dean or Castiel care about the venue."

"I care! If we don't do this right, we can't redo it!" Michael runs a hand over his face in frustration. "Just get back to the hotel," he orders before vanishing again.

Sam stares at the spot he vanished from. "He seems...high-strung."

"He normally is," Lucifer remarks blandly. "Most people just don't get to see it. For the angels of Heaven he's always confident and in control, but for us and Raphael, his closest brothers, well...this was very familiar for us growing up."

"What he needs to do is take him and Castiel both to Dean Winchester and let him take care of their virgin a*ses. I think that'll do wonders for his stress level," Gabriel decides. He sighs dramatically, cleaning up the picnic with a snap. "Let's go, before Michael's stress level ascends into the celestial plane."

Sam quips, "It can get worse? We better go then!" He takes Gabriel's hand, landing easily as they appear into the hotel again. "Thanks. Both of you. Again. It was fun." He squeezes both men's hands then releases them.

Michael leads them off toward the conference room of the hotel. Something about this hallway seems vaguely familiar to Sam, but he hasn't been on the first floor too much since he got to the hotel, only to eat. He recognizes the actual conference room though. It's been cleaned up since the last time, but he remembers hiding here, terrified for his life as Lucifer came. He remembers thinking that the only way he was leaving this room was through Satan's power.

Dean is obviously thinking the same thing. While Sam wanders off, compulsion telling him to hide behind a table like he had before, Dean clears his throat and interrupts Michael's spiel about why this might be a good place to get married. "I'd prefer Stull Cemetery."

"Stop being sarcastic, Dean, this is important."

"I'm serious. We all have such good memories there. Sam taken over by Lucifer, Lucifer and you and Adam thrown into the Cage, Bobby dying, me getting punched over and over and losing Sam, Cas getting blown up- really, what's not to like?"

Michael sighs, looking agitated. "Dean-"

"Michael," Dean interrupts, "I'm serious. I refuse to marry you where one of your brothers killed the other, and where I thought for sure I was going to lose Sam to Lucifer. That's not the kind of way I want to start my eternal marriage."

"You did what?" Michael addresses Lucifer.

Lucifer has already been looking around the room with a haunted expression on his face. He moves forward, until he's at the exact place where he had thrust his blade into Gabriel. "Hey," Gabriel's voice calls, and he takes his hand, anchoring him firmly in the present.

"I'm sorry."

"I know," Gabriel reassures him. "I forgive you."

"You shouldn't," argues Lucifer.

"Too late." Gabriel initiates the kiss, yanking him forward and kissing him. Lucifer flails for just a second before ceding control of the kiss to his younger brother. "I love you," Gabriel whispers as they draw back, "in spite of this."

Lucifer rests his head against Gabriel's for a moment, breathing deep to stop the tears welling up in his eyes. When he gets himself under control again, he asks, "Where's Sam?"

"Behind the central table there," Azazel speaks up.

Both archangels move as one behind the table. Sam is curled up there, staring into space. It's clear he's watching something play out that isn't actually there, and it doesn't take much brainpower to figure out what it is. Gabriel drops to his knees elegantly, dragging Lucifer down behind him with an angry-sounding clomp. Gabriel smooths Sam's hair away from his face, and Sam jerks toward him, eyes wild. "Hey," Gabriel greets, smiling sweetly at him. Sam looks behind him, to Lucifer, and shudders with fear.

"I know," Gabriel tells him, gathering him in his arms. "I know. It's not real. It's in the past."

"I keep watching you die."

"It's not real."

"It was." Sam's voice comes out stronger, and he pushes himself to his feet. "I'm fine. It's you I'm worried about."

Gabriel shakes his head, bolting to his feet and yanking Lucifer up with him. "I'm okay. We're okay," he promises.

Sam glances around the room one more time. "I'm leaving," he decides. "I'll be outside, Michael," he calls.

Sam leaves the room, then the hotel. He paces angrily, trying to force his brain to reconcile the images of the past with the current truth. He barely registers Azazel following him out. The other, strange demon that attacks him, he register much faster. 

He has enough time to look up and realize he doesn't recognize the demon's true visage as the demon hurtles toward him. Sam ducks under the swinging knife and pops up, slamming the heel of his hand into the demon's face. The demon reels back, holding its nose. 

"I heard you Winchesters were uncivilized cretins," the demon snarls as Azazel attacks him. 

"I'm not the one who attacked you," Sam huffs back. 

"Just following orders," it proclaims, ducking around Azazel to toss the knife. 

"Whose?" Sam spins out of the way of the twisting blade. 

"Alistair. We've already dealt with your parents, you're next, and then we'll take out your older brother. He's going back on to Alistair's rack."

"What do you mean, you've dealt with my parents?" Sam asks as he ducks another knife swing. 

"They've been out hunting, and we caught them." 

Sam's arm catches the demon and slams it into the ground. "Where are they? What have you done with them?" he demands.

"They're locked away."

"Meaning what?" Sam growls out, teeth bared. 

The demon laughs mockingly. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Answer him," Lucifer barks from behind Sam. 

The demon squints at him. "Are you the other Winchester brother?"

"No. Answer him, immediately."

"They're in heaven. The angels ordered it."

Lucifer bares his teeth and smites the demon. "I'm Lucifer, you fool," he snarls as the demon smokes out.

Sam steps forward, pressing his hand against Lucifer's chest. "Calm," he whispers, "steady. Calm down, Lucifer."

"He was going to kill you."

"Him, and several other creatures. I'm very popular when it comes to people wanting to kill me. You wanted to at one point, and so did Michael. Most of the creatures I've hunted have tried to kill me. He wasn't special. Nothing out of the ordinary for me." Sam takes Lucifer's hand. "Come on," he soothes. "Let's go back to the hotel. We need to figure out how to get my parents back." Lucifer lets himself be tugged back into the hotel, though he's still glaring at the dead demon behind them. Like this, with Lucifer chomping at the bit to defend Sam's honor, Sam suddenly realizes he doesn't have to be afraid of Lucifer any more. He pushes the thought aside for now, resolving to deal with it later- he has parents to rescue now, after all.


	12. Family Doesn't End in Blood

Once they get into the hotel, it's a simple matter to relay the demon's words to Dean. Dean's automatic response is to attempt to figure out how to storm the gates of Heaven and get their parents back. Michael is trying to convince Dean to slow down and be rational, but Dean has rarely done anything rationally and it seems doubtful he's going to start now. Especially with Sam egging him on.

The angelic voice that thunders around the room is completely unexpected, and nearly knocks both human boys over with it. "In exchange for Mary and John Winchester to be returned to their sons free from harm, the rebel angels request Lucifer and Castiel in their place. The angels will deal with the rebels themselves."

Sam bites his lip so hard it hurts. 'This is their play? They are going to try to force us to give up Lucifer and Cas?' He and Dean share a look and step back outside the hotel. It's not very difficult to find out who issued this proclamation, Raphael stands before the hotel with his arms spread. Several other angels are spread out behind him, eyes sharp as they wait to see if they should attack the Winchester brothers. One of them, to the right of Raphael, holds a sharp blade to Mary's throat. The angel to the left has John in the same position.

"Sam and Dean Winchester. Greetings," Raphael begins cooly.

"We're not giving you Cas," Dean announces.

"Cas?" Raphael scorns, saying the word as though it offends him. "He is not your pet, he is an angel of the Lord. Castiel is to be handed over to me so he can pay for his crimes against the angels."

"And Lucifer?" Sam asks. He can feel someone behind him, but before he can turn Gabriel reaches out to touch him. Sam relaxes instantly.

"We intend to use Lucifer to restart the Apocalypse."

Sam's blood runs as cold as Lucifer's normally does. "So you intend us to give up our brother, and our family, in return for our parents? We will not allow you to have them. We don't intend to restart the Apocalypse."

"It is your destiny, Sam Winchester. We all know you and Dean are destined to bring Apocalypse. The time is nigh."

Sam reaches back and touches Gabriel's hand, squeezing once for strength before dropping it. "You cannot have Castiel. And you will not harm my parents."

"Slit their throats," Raphael orders, but Sam speaks over him with confidence.

"You will not harm them because I offer myself for whatever punishment Castiel has warranted, short of death, in his place."

"NO!" Dean and Gabriel shout together, but Sam ignores them both. He steps forward so he's not surrounded by them, until he's toe-to-toe with Raphael. 

"The angels accept your offer," Raphael decides. "We will punish you here, so Castiel can see the price for his sins. Remove your shirt, Sam Winchester. Alistair, if you please. The Winchester brother has offered himself up in Castiel's place."

"HALT!" Michael enters the scene and thunders. Lucifer stands with him, eyes shuttered and cold. Castiel comes out too, standing to Michael's left. "What is the meaning of this, Raphael?"

"The Winchester boy has offered himself in place of Castiel, to accept the punishment for Castiel's rebellion and death of the angels," reports Raphael.

"WHAT?! Sam, why?!" cries Cas.

"You didn't think I'd let them kill my brother, did you Cas?" Sam teases quietly. "They intended to kill you and use Lucifer to restart the Apocalypse."

"Brother?" Cas echoes. "But Sam-"

"As a wise, grumpy old man once told me and Dean, family doesn't end in blood."

"The Apocalypse, brother?" Michael addresses Raphael as Sam finishes reassuring Cas. "Lucifer and I have healed old wounds. We do not intend to fight."

"That was why I intended to kill the Winchesters in combat. They clearly have you under a spell of witchcraft."

"Witchcraft. I hate witches," Dean mutters, and Sam nearly smiles.

"Sam, you don't have to do this," Michael tells him.

"Au contraire, Michael. If he does not stand in the place of Michael, I will kill Castiel."

Michael growls. "You dare threaten the consort of the archangel Michael?"

"You are not in love with him, Michael. You believe you are because of the witchcraft the Winchesters have utilized. Once we kill them, you will see. But that is enough arguing. Sam Winchester, do you still intend to take the punishment allotted to the seraph Castiel for his crimes against Heaven, his rebellion, his becoming God, and his thoughtless slaughter of so many beloved brothers and sisters?"

"I do," Sam answers formally.

"Step forth and remove your shirt."

Sam steps forward, taking off his shirt and folding it neatly. Alistair is staring at him, and Sam smirks at him. "If you think you see something you like, I wouldn't. Most people I have sex with tend to die, and that's before I met Gabriel and Lucifer."

"Arrogant to a fault, Winchester."

"I've always felt that was a demon's prerogative. After all, who else would be arrogant enough to believe they could top the torture methods of both Lucifer and Michael, together?" He walks willingly until he's in front of a pole in the ground that Raphael had created just for this purpose. He presents his wrists, allowing Alistair to lash him tightly to the pole.

'Michael?' he prays silently. 'I need you to take my vocal cords. I don't want to give them the satisfaction of hearing me scream.' He glances up, makes eye contact with the archangel, who nods at him. Michael's hand is tight on Dean, his other wrapped around Castiel. Dean's other hand is holding Mary tight, and John has her other hand.

Sam looks to Lucifer and Gabriel as the first lash falls, pain exploding across his back. Lucifer is just barely being restrained, the demons having wandered out and catching sight of what was going on. Azazel and Crowley have a tight hold on Lucifer, who is straining against them. At the second lash, Sam watches the demons wince with it. The two female demons are off to the side of the boys, holding each other tightly with gritted teeth.

The lashes go on until Sam loses count. He's starting to lose his vision, he can't see the demons any more. Vaguely, he registers a low-pitched cry that reverberates through his ears. It's coming from Gabriel, and there's tears streaming down his face as he continues making that cry. Lucifer has finally stopped fighting the demons, slumped against them. He lifts his head and joins his brother in the call. Their faces are the last things Sam sees before his vision completely cuts out.  
..............................................................................  
Dean can feel tears streaming down his face as Gabriel begins his cry. He can't control it, and there's no way to stop it. "What is that?" he asks, scrubbing at his eyes. He can't cry in front of his enemies. 

"Gabriel's mourning his mate's injuries," Cas answers. "He's letting the Host know his mate has been badly hurt."

Dean can distinguish the difference between Gabriel's calls and Lucifer's, which start up a moment later. He's so caught up in listening to them that he doesn't realize Bobby and Balthazar have come out until Bobby speaks.

"What the h**l is that boy doing?"

"They wanted to kill me," Castiel answers. Unlike Dean, he's not scrubbing his face to hide his tears. He's also been crying a lot longer, since the first lash bit into Sam's back. "Sam took the whipping so they wouldn't."

"Idjit. Both of you, idjits."

Some unspoken signal must have been reached, because the whipping stops finally. It's been going on for what feels like an eternity. Alistair unties him, and kicks Sam in his side. Sam's body flops, appearing lifeless in it's unconsciousness. Dean's running for him, dragging Cas and Michael behind him, but Gabriel and Lucifer still get there first. Gabriel crouches by Sam but Lucifer is nearly incandescent with fury as he reaches for Alistair.

Dean grabs his arm, and Lucifer glares at him with a strength that would send a weaker man or demon running and sobbing for their mother. Dean doesn't let go. "Stop. If you kill him now instead of helping Sam, I will never forgive you."

"You're next," Alistair promises Dean before he smokes out of his meatsuit. Lucifer growls, but he stalks off toward Sam, smoothing his hair out of his face.

"Let's get him inside," Michael decides. "We can heal him from there." He guides the other angels into picking up Sam and carrying him inside.

"Why couldn't we just heal him out here?" Dean demands.

"I don't want to give Raphael the satisfaction."

They lay him on the couch. "Sam!" Dean hears Claire gasp. Ben is with her, grabbing her arm as they both stare at him in horror. "What happened? Is he going to be okay?"

"Ben, take Claire and go into the dining room, please," Michael orders. Ben stares for a moment longer. "Ben," Michael repeats.

Ben snaps out of it, leading Claire into the dining room. John gapes at him as he leaves, though he doesn't notice it. "Dean-"

"Not now," Dean snaps. Miraculously, John falls silent. 

Sam gasps and jerks awake as Lucifer's grace heals him. "Hey. So I've been thinking, you're kinda cute. We should get married."

Lucifer blinks at him owlishly. "What?"

"Charlie! Kevin! My brother and sister!" Sam slumps backward, unconscious.

In the dead silence that follows, Gabriel's, "Oh Father, you broke him," is very loud. 

"What's with Sam?" Charlie asks.

"Charlie!" Dean gasps, hugging her. 

"See, I told you they needed us," Kevin says to Charlie. "I've been getting some weird prophecies regarding the two of you," he tells Dean. He reaches out to touch Sam, but the second they make contact something changes. The boys scream in symphony, Sam bellowing "Cas!" Castiel responds instantly before realizing they're trapped in a vision, and Sam's not actually calling him. "You promised, Michael." Sam intones in Dean's voice. "You promised. Until death do us part."

"Bobby was taken," Kevin utters in a perfect parody of Balthazar's voice.

Sam speaks again, this time in Lucifer's voice, "Gabriel's gone." A different voice, Azazel's, spoken by Sam again, "Lilith vanished too."

"Close down Heaven. Recall the Host. Earth obviously isn't safe anymore," Kevin orders in Michael's voice.

"You can't, Dean. Michael will take it as betrayal," Sam says as he did before in Zachariah's voice.

"We have to keep going," Kevin speaks as Lucifer. "We have to find them."

"I'm going with you," Sam answers as himself.

Both boys laugh together, a maniacal, hair-raising laugh. "I await you, Sam Winchester," they speak monotonously. Whatever vision they saw stops, and both boys pant together for a moment before they open their eyes.

"What happened?" demands Sam.

Dean is the one to answer, face pale as he tries to take in what the vision might have meant. "I think- you might have been prophesying. You did something like this before, when you had your fever and were hallucinating. You had seen something happen to Cas, I think. But now it sounds like it will be more than just Cas that's going to be taken."

"It is. It will be. And whatever's coming for them is waiting for me," Sam realizes.

Lucifer snarls low in his throat. "I don't like this."

"Nobody does," Dean answers. "Are you guys okay?"

"I've never felt better," promises Sam.

"I feel fine," replies Kevin.

"Okay. Then let's get Charlie and Kevin into rooms, and we can deal with this later," Dean suggests. He throws his arm around Charlie's shoulders and walks off, saying something Sam can't hear to her. Kevin follows them after a concerned look at Sam. 

Gabriel's watching Sam with a concerned expression, so he reaches forward and pulls him into his arms, pressing a light kiss to his lips. "I'm fine. Really," he says at Gabriel's skeptical look. He can feel arms wrap around them both from behind and relaxes, allowing Lucifer to take most of his body weight. "We're going to be fine," Sam continues, sliding an arm up to latch onto Lucifer as well. "We'll be fine," he repeats, though he's not sure if he's reassuring himself or the archangels with him.


	13. All Work and No Play Makes Sam a Dull Boy Indeed

I said no," Sam tells Michael for what has to be the thirteenth time in the past twenty minutes. "You bring up a good point, really you do, but I don't want to learn how to control my hellfire. I'd rather pretend it's not there at all. And I'd prefer not to have to fight the demons."

"It's for your safety!" argues Michael ardently. "Sam, those demons that attacked you-"

"Demon, Michael. Singular."

Michael talks over him as though Sam hadn't interrupted. "The demons want you dead. Until you marry my brothers, you can still be killed. I would like you to discover your powers so you can defend yourself. If angels or demons come for you again, it would be beneficial to know what you can do."

"Not interested. Sorry."

"By Father, you and your brother are stubborn! I'm not asking you to say yes to the Apocalypse, I'm asking you both to become familiar with a new extension of yourselves in order to protect yourselves!"

"Dean told you no too? What did you ask him to do?"

"Learn to fly. Apparently, he's afraid of flying. Did you know that?"

"Did I know that my brother, the same one I have lived with all my life, except a few short months of playing normal at Stanford, is deathly afraid of flying? Nope. Never came up," Sam says sarcastically.

Michael rolls his eyes. "As I was saying-"

"He literally told you he was afraid of flying when this whole business started, I don't think you listen when we talk. Besides, getting him to fly should be easy. I don't think you're doing it right. Do you have a spot for him to practice flying?"

"I created a beautiful meadow for us in one of the rooms here on the first floor. 147. Dean is there now, watching Castiel. Actually, that's where Lucifer and Gabriel, as well as many members of the Host, are too."

Sam wanders away, into room 147. The area has obviously been expanded, and in place of a room and its expected furnishings, room 147 has a grassy knoll with beautiful meadow flowers. There are tall cliffs surrounding the meadow, and Sam is just in time to watch Gabriel throw himself off one of the cliffs and launch into aerial acrobatics. He waves to him, and is pleased when Gabriel waves back. Dean is at the top of one of these cliffs, sitting with his legs thrown over the edge as he watches several angels swoop and dive. Sam begins the climb up to him.

"Hey," Sam says once he arrives at the top of the cliff, slightly out of breath from the climb.

"Hey." Despite his fear of flying, Dean doesn't appear tense or afraid. His body is loose, hand knotted loosely in the grass as he watches Castiel twist in an aerial somersault. Dean laughs. "10 out of 10, baby," he calls, and Cas grins at them before shooting off again.

"Surprised you're not on the ground."

"I would be, but Cas insisted I sit up here so I can see better."

"More dangerous up here," Sam remarks, walking to the edge and rocking there. "It's easier to fall." Thus saying, he hurls himself off the cliff.

If you ever need to get a room full of angel's attention, or perhaps you feel the need to be overdramatic to a level only an archangel would, Sam recommends this. Everyone instantly moves to catch him, diving down, but Dean is there first, as Sam knew he would be. Dean sets him on the ground, flanked by both Lucifer and Gabriel, and instantly begins cussing him out.

"What the h*ll, Sam? What the actual f**k? Son of a b***h, what in f**k's name were you doing?"

"Helping you realize you can fly," Sam answers. Dean's mouth falls open and he doesn't answer, so Sam slaps his back and says, "You're welcome," before walking away. "Now go fly with your fiance!" he calls over his shoulder.

He doesn't realize Lucifer's staring at him until he walks into him. "In my defense, it was your brother's fault," Sam tells him. "Michael told me he wouldn't fly."

"So you decided the best course of action to remedy that is to take a flying leap off a cliff?"

"It worked, didn't it?" Sam remarks as Dean flaps carefully five feet off the ground, Cas hovering nearby to grab him if he falls.

Lucifer's eyes flash angrily. "Do you not have a sense of self-preservation, or do you just not think? What would have happened if Dean hadn't been fast enough to catch you- if we hadn't seen you- if you'd hit the ground and died?"

"Well then, I'd be dead." Sam fails to see the point he can tell Lucifer is trying to make.

"And what would become of Gabriel and I?"

Sam shrugs. "Dunno. You'd mourn for a while, I guess. Take comfort from each other. And get over it eventually."

"That easy, huh? Are you stupid, or do you genuinely have no idea the control you have over us? We are in love with you! Your loss would break our hearts!"

"You shouldn't be. I'm nothing special."

"Nothing...Father's sake, Samuel. You have no idea, do you? From the moment Father created this Earth, we all knew about you. We couldn't wait for you to be born. Every eon I was stuck in that Father-forsaken cage, I counted the days until you were born. Do you know of the celebration that shook Heaven when you were born, or the parties we held in Hell once you were borrn? We were all excited for your arrival. What makes you think I could possibly be immune to that?"

Sam shrugs. "You didn't like me," he argues. "You tortured me."

"I have some very regrettable anger management issues."

Sam snorts. "That's one way to put it, yeah."

"But I did- and still do- love you."

"Stop saying that."

Lucifer smirks, arrogant and self-assured, and says "I love you," again. And it pisses Sam off, so he reels back and punches him, and throws all of his strength into it. It's a good hit. His knuckles are skinned but Lucifer's smarmy mouth is pouring blood and Sam can't find it within himself to feel even remotely sorry. It was well deserved. 

Lucifer straightens and heals himself with his grace. "I deserved that," he realizes. Sam doesn't say anything, waiting tensely for retaliation. Nothing happens. 

Gabriel lands in between them, arms extended. 

"Move, Gabriel. You're in Sam's way if he needs to hit me again."

Gabriel says nothing, simply eyeing the two men with his arms still out and body tense as though he's waiting to block another blow. "I'm done," Sam tells him, and Gabriel drops his arms to his sides.

"Why?" he asks, tiredness in his voice. "Why'd you do that, Sam?"

"It was my fault," Lucifer explains. 

"Doubtless," drolls Gabriel.

"He was being a brat," Sam defends his actions, "and so I punched him."

"I told him I loved him," Lucifer adds.

Gabriel rolls his whiskey-colored eyes and walks away muttering under his breath about how someone needs to lock them in a closet and let some of their tension resolve itself that way.

"I don't think that's necessary," Sam calls to Gabriel's back, "a lot of my tension is gone now that I've punched him."

Gabriel flips him off without looking back at him.

"Love you too!" Sam calls, so Gabriel flips him off again.

"Here," Lucifer says to Sam, offering his hand. "Come with me up to our hotel room. I'd like to show you something."

Sam takes his hand, a small part of him wondering if this is a trick after he punched Lucifer. He ignores that part. They stroll up to their hotel room under their own power, and Sam lets Lucifer unlock the door and usher him inside.

"If your plan is to woo me with sex, you'll have to go get Gabriel too," Sam teases.

Lucifer rolls his eyes. "If I was sure you would enjoy it instead of running away if I took off my clothes, I would."

"I wouldn't run. But fine. Why are we up here, then?"

"I'd like to show you how I feel about you."

"You just said we weren't going to have sex."

"And we're not. But if you say 'yes' to me, I can show you how I feel. How I've always felt. I kept it from you before, and you felt the wall but didn't even realize it. I can take it down."

Sam spends thirty seconds to think this over. "Yes."

Lucifer stares at him. "What?"

"Yes."

Lucifer appears flummoxed. "I didn't think you'd actually agree." He steps closer, cold arms touching Sam's own hellfire-heated ones and raising trails of goosebumps in his wake. "Are you sure?"

"For the third time, yes."

Lucifer doesn't ask again. He sparks out of his own body and enters Sam. It's not like the last time, Sam's not struggling for control, not desperate to win, not fearful for his life. Inside his head, there is only peace. 

He can feel the wall once it crumbles, and realizes Lucifer really had been blocking him before. The last resistance crumbles, and Sam can feel everything. He searches through Lucifer's mind, feels his enthusiasm as God announces to the Heavenly Host the need for the true vessels. Can see Lucifer helping to create him, offering God suggestions as Michael leans over his shoulder cracking jokes- and apparently, his long hair was an idea of Michael's- and slapping Michael's hand away, laughing as they create Sam together. He feels the rejection and abandonment of the Fall, and collapses back onto the bed with the pain or Lucifer's suffering. Sam had never stopped to consider how much it would have hurt, to be cast out by his brother. The pain sends him reeling, and he feels Lucifer stop and try to awkwardly fast-forward his own memories. 

'Sorry.'

'It's fine,' Sam tells him. 

'Even then, the only thing that got me through was waiting on you.'

Sam can feel the anxiousness that bubbles up in Lucifer when Azazel lets him know that Mary Winchester is pregnant for a second time. He feels the hope when Azazel returns nine months later to announce that Sam Winchester has been born. There's hope and joy, and desire to break free, to give Michael retribution, and then to walk on Earth once more, to see the brothers and sisters that he has missed. Azazel has kept him updated about the new angels, and he's especially fascinated by news of a younger brother named Castiel, one of the last Gabriel had announced before he vanished. His body thrums with anxiousness, barely concealed patience as he waits for Sam Winchester to grow.

Even seeing the demons that had been involved in many aspects of his life and hearing from Jess how much Lucifer learned about him had not prepared Sam for anything close to the true scope of Lucifer's knowledge of him. He hears from Azazel about his first tooth, first steps, first words. Then he gets older and the news changes to reflect it: first hunt, first kiss, first girlfriend, and apparently even the first time he had sex. Sam's cheeks burn with that one, and he can feel Lucifer's amusement.

Azazel announces his plans to test Sam, to draw him back into hunting. He doesn't discuss methods, and Lucifer doesn't ask. He agrees to whatever Azazel thinks best, and Sam knows he's getting into the parts of his life he remembers most. After this, Jess will be dead and he throws himself back into hunting.

More years pass. Sam dies, watches himself stumble through Hell. Lucifer is standing there, smirking as he rakes his eyes up and down Sam's body. "Where am I?" Sam hears himself demand.

'I don't remember this. Why don't I remember this?'

'You were with me for such a short time. You didn't remember anything once you woke up,' Lucifer answers.

In his memory, Lucifer answers the deceased Sam, "You're right where you were always meant to be. But it's not your time. Stay with me for a while, and when you return, fear not, for we shall be reunited in a few years."

"Who are you?" Dead-Sam demands. 

'Dead-Sam is very demanding,' Sam thinks. 

"An outcast, rejected by the others. I have lived here in solitude for millennia, but my time of suffering draws to its end."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that the next time we see each other, we will be on Earth together. I will have a proposition for you, one I hope you will accept, but you will learn about all of that in time."

Dead-Sam vanishes before he can answer, and Lucifer's memory of himself chuckles. "Even now, you've become a thorn in my side, Vessel of Michael," he addresses the ceiling. 

Sam can hear the screams of his name, echoing about the Cage from Alistair's table. They cut off abruptly, and Sam hears a single solitary 'click.' Lucifer laughs jubilantly. "Finally! You may be good for something after all, Vessel of Michael. I'll resurrect you after I kill Michael simply for this."

There's unrestrained glee when Lucifer finally steps free of the Cage. Sam feels his shock as he searches for him and doesn't find him, and then he goes after Nick. Automatically, Sam can see the difference between Lucifer's chasing after him and chasing after Nick. It's true, Lucifer had offered not to harm his family, to resurrect them. And though he offered Nick the same, and appeared as Nick's wife in much the same way he appeared as Jess, he had not terrorized Sam as he did Nick. Sam feels a sudden flash of guilt toward Nick. Perhaps, if Lucifer had appeared to him in the same way, he would have said yes a lot sooner.

Inside him, Lucifer laughs. 'No, you wouldn't have. I know you better than that.'

He can feel Lucifer's body thrumming with excitement as he searches for Sam. Sam, who he knows to be with Castiel, the younger brother he is enthralled with as well. He knows Castiel is responsible for hiding them, and it entertains him that his younger brother is so rebellious. He's a lot like Lucifer, yet still entrenched firmly on the side of good. No matter, for Lucifer intends to woo him over to the side of evil. Since he can't find Sam in the traditional manner, he will find him in his dreams instead. It's easier, with Sam's subconscious calling out to him.

Sam's eyes fly open, and he sits up in shock. 'WHAT?'

'That's why I was able to find you. I did tell you, MFEO. Your body literally called out to me as you slept, that's how I was able to enter your dreams. Unfortunately, it wasn't enough for me to be able to find you, Castiel's warding did its job a bit too well.'

'That's why you wanted to know where I was.'

Lucifer hums in agreement, and shows Sam their meeting. He shows the excitement and anticipation of their union, the first 'yes' that instead turned out to be the first 'no.' He holds nothing back. He shows Sam the affection he felt as he approached him as Jess, the love as he smoothed Sam's hair away from his ear. He shows Sam how he felt when Sam finally realized it wasn't Jess, but instead him. The pain of Sam's own rejection and horrified face sends his body back against the bed again, gasping in shock as he tries fruitlessly to breathe. Michael's betrayal had hurt, had splintered him, but Sam's had shattered him. He can feel the pain and shock of rejection, the surprise that Sam wouldn't want him. After all, he had waited millennia for Sam.

"I'm sorry," Sam gasps aloud. "Oh God, I'm so sorry."

Lucifer chuckles within Sam's mind humorlessly. 'Leave my father out of this.'

'Sorry.'

'Now you know,' Lucifer thinks. 'I wanted you to understand, I'm not lying when I say I love you.' He's not, that's somehow the most surprising thing. He really does love Sam. Feeling the emotions like he has, Sam can't argue it anymore. 

Sam startles at hearing the knock on the door, so out of place with the world inside of Lucifer. "Yeah?" he calls. 

Gabriel opens the door. "Hey. Aurora told me she saw you come up here. Where's Lucifer?"

"Oh, he-"

'Dont tell him I'm here!'

"Left," Sam finishes lamely. 

Gabriel shoots him an odd look. "Listen, at the risk of you hating me too, I'm going to strongly recommend you two talk out your issues. And I know you don't do that often, but I seriously think it will help."

"Possibly," Lucifer answers with Sam's mouth. "But I don't want to think about him right now. Come here."

Gabriel comes closer, so Lucifer springs up and tackles him to the bed, kissing like he's trying to devour him. 

Gabriel jumps away. "Lucifer? What have you done? He'll hate you forever now!"

"It's okay," Sam reassures him. "I said yes this time."

"It's not okay! This is exactly the kind of thing that could ruin this marriage scheme of Father's!"

Lucifer flashes out of Sam's body, and once Sam has singular control over his vocal cords he repeats, "It's okay. I said yes this time."

Gabriel blinks at him. "Oh. Sorry. I thought-"

Sam cuts him off by kissing him again. He feels Lucifer's arms wrapped around them both, raising goosebumps as he moves. Sam relaxes, tilting his face up-

"Sam!" Dean yells. "Get your nerdy a*s down here!" 

Sam freezes, mouth an inch from Lucifer's. Then he pulls away, grumbling under his breath as he moves out the door. "What?" he growls. 

Dean is practically vibrating with excitement. "Charlie wants to play a game."

"LARPing? Moondor?"

Charlie shakes her head no. "You ever read Percy Jackson?"

"Oh my God, capture the flag? You have the f**king best ideas."

"The angels and demons have already agreed to play, we just needed you guys yet. So if you want to get your butt into room 147, Michael's remade it so we've got a huge forest now. Oh, and Dean and I are one team, which leaves you on the opposing team."

"Race you guys there!" Sam announces, and he trips Dean before he takes off down the hall. Dean roars profanities as he follows him. 

Gabriel shoots Lucifer a confused glance. "Have you ever read Percy Jackson?"

"No. I'm assuming you haven't either?"

"Not a word."

"What's capture the flag?"

"So normally you split into two teams. Each team has a flag. Then you try to get the other team's flag while protecting your own."

"That's what he's so excited about?"

Gabriel shrugs. "I guess."

They enter room 147. Sam's arguing with Dean. "You can't have Cas!"

"Of course I can, I just picked him!"

"Charlie, tell him he can't have Cas!"

"Well, he did just pick him." She looks over to see the two archangels standing inside the door. "Gabriel, you're on Sam's team too. Your pick, Dean. Why don't you pick two as well?"

"Fine!" Dean says, obviously still mad Sam got Cas. "I'm taking Michael and-" Dean's voice trails off as he searches the room, and he turns back to Sam with a nasty sneer, "Lucifer."

"Sam, pick two."

"Balthazar and Crowley."

"Dean?" Charlie prompts. 

"Bobby and Lilith."

"Lilith?" Sam echoes. 

"What, you think I'm going to let her go up against me? H**l no!"

"Mom and Dad."

"F**k you, Sammy. Okay, I'm taking Ellen and Jo."

"Wait a second, Sam, you've still got one less person. Pick three," Charlie orders. 

"Benny, Ruby, and Adam."

"Azazel and Kevin."

"Ben and Claire."

"Anna and Zachariah," Dean says. 

Everyone else quickly gets divided up, and Sam grabs the flag and his sword. "So, it's like normal capture the flag, but with swords," Sam tells his team. He picks out blue armor, and the rest of his team follows his lead. 

"Rules!" Charlie yells before the teams separate. "If you're fighting someone, adjust to their skill levels. Angels and demons both, no pinning humans to trees or anything for longer than five minutes. Angels, no flying. Everybody, no intentional maiming, permanent scarring, etc. The creek Michael made here is the boundaries between our teams First person to get the other team's flag on their side wins. Anything I'm forgetting?" she ends, looking to Dean for confirmation. He shakes his head, so she says, "Okay! Red team, move out!"

"I'll guard the flag with Balthazar," Gabriel offers. Sam hands off the flag. 

"John and I can take defense of the flag too," Mary volunteers.

"Actually, can you guys lead a fake offense? I need a distraction. I'll be the real offense."

"I'll take offense too. Dean will most likely let Azazel guard the flag with Lilith, and I can distract them," Crowley decides. 

"We'll take the kids," John says. "They're both fast, that'll help the fake offense look more real."

"Okay. Everyone else, keep out the Red team. We've got this."

Sam follows his parents into enemy territory, but as they continue straight he and Crowley veer left, following the river. Considering Crowley is still wearing a suit, he keeps up with the hunter pretty well. They continue on for a while, not seeing anyone. After a few minutes they spot the flag, completely unguarded. "Too easy," Sam remarks. "Even Dean's not arrogant enough to leave the flag unguarded."

Thus saying, he and Crowley are both pinned to the trees. "You're quite right. It's not that easy," Azazel remarks, stepping out from the trees with Lilith. 

"Five minutes starts now," Azazel tells him cheerily. 

Sam struggles, discovering he can move his fingers. He wiggles them, then freezes as he discovers he can move his arms too. Crowley's mouth drops in shock, but snaps closed as Azazel turns again. Sam plasters his arms back in the nick of time. He smiles at them both and turns his back again. With a great amount of concentration, Sam wrenches his legs free too. He tries to go for Crowley, but he shakes his head no and stares pointedly at the flag. Sam frowns, goes again for Crowley, but when Crowley pulls his teeth back, and the move is echoed in his demon form, Sam realizes he's serious. He grabs the flag and sprints like the hounds of Hell are after him. 

Azazel realizes he's gone and Sam feels something in the air, so he drops to the ground. Whatever it is, he suspects it would have pinned him again. Crowley's suddenly there, yanking him up and throwing him forward. "Go, go, go!" he commands. 

Crowley's pulled away, and Azazel is thrusting the sword so it nearly beheads Sam. He ducks, and steps in so he's knocking Azazel down. 

In a clearing up ahead Sam's fake offense is battling desperately with Dean's team. "Fall back!" Sam bellows. "I've got the flag!" John goes tearing past him, fighting Lilith as she tries to get to Sam. Sam's running like a madman, especially because he can hear Dean yelling up ahead. A second later, it becomes clear why. Lucifer is coming from the other direction, and has a flag all of his own. Michael's tailing him, sword ready for battle, and Dean's on the other side with Charlie. Sam doesn't let any of them distract him. He's determined to win, to get to the river before Lucifer. He soaks his jeans as he plows through, lowering his shoulder so he slams into Lucifer. He knocks him out of the river and onto the bank, toppling over on top of him.

Sam begins to laugh. He's won, his team's victorious, and he's knocked Lucifer out of the water too. It's been fun. Lucifer's laughing too, shaking Sam's whole body as he sees the humor in the game. Sam leans down and gives him what he intends to be a chaste peck on the lips.

It's anything but. Sam pulls away but Lucifer's hand is curling round the back of his neck and Sam forgets how to breathe. His head explodes. Possibly his body too, as Cas' did during the Apocalypse. He's not aware of anything outside of Lucifer. Probably they are still in the forest. His parents may be watching. Sam wouldn't know. The forest might be on fire. Sam would burn before he realized it, because his whole world is revolving solely around Lucifer. Sam's fairly certain their kiss is not supposed to be this good. He's literally kissing the Devil, but it doesn't seem to matter because his brain is singing a litany of 'Lucifer, Lucifer, Lucifer.'

Lucifer breaks the kiss, and Sam works on getting his brain back online, and encouraging his lungs to relearn how to pull oxygen in. The rest of the world turns on slowly, then all at once. Dean is yelling about how he doesn't need to see that, John and Mary are gaping at him, Adam looks smug. Gabriel, though- his eyes are shining like he's been given the largest piece of chocolate on the Earth. "Finally!" he whoops. 

Sam's face goes red, and he scrambles off Lucifer. He pulls his fiance to his feet. Lucifer grabs him before he can pull away, tucking Sam's arm in his. "Don't pull away from me, please. I can see you're already beginning," he requests, words for the two of them only. 

"I'm here," Sam promises. "I'm not leaving." He links their fingers together, then holds his other hand out for Gabriel, who bounds over joyously. "Take me home," he mumbles against Gabriel's lips as he reels him in for a kiss. Gabriel snaps his fingers, the world fading away for real this time as they appear in their house.

This time Sam is the one to break the kiss. "Upstairs. Now."

Both archangels freeze, pulling away until they're not touching him at all, watching him with brightly-burning, barely-concealed lust in their eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want you, Gabriel. I want you too, Lucifer." Sam extends both arms, waiting. They don't let him wait long, reaching for him greedily, and Sam's eyes fall closed under their onslaught. Hands are everywhere-his back, his arms, his stomach, his hair. Sam can't figure out which hands belong to which angel...and then the kissing starts. One of them is at his back, mouthing at his neck, making Sam feel weak, and he nearly collapses, groaning into the mouth of whichever angel is in front of him. A finger snap, and they're on the bed.

"You're sure?" Lucifer asks raggedly, hands on Sam's shirt as he prepares to remove it. "What happened to being nervous?"

"I still am. Go slow, be gentle. I've never done this with a guy. But do it. Please. I want you," he confesses, and Lucifer drags him into another searing kiss. He throws his head back, yanking away from Lucifer as Gabriel does something with his tongue and Sam's navel that makes him gasp and struggle for breath. "Gabe! Gabriel!"

Gabriel laughs, smoothing hands across Sam to soothe him. "It's okay. I've got you. We've both got you."

"Gabe-"

"Let go, Sam. We'll catch you," Lucifer vows against his skin.

It's a turning point. If he does this now, there's no going back, no pretending it didn't happen. It's more dangerous than jumping off a cliff like he did earlier. Sam waits a moment, retreats within himself. 'Yes,' he thinks, 'no going back. Mine, forever. For all of eternity.' The words spill out of him, granting permission, "Yes." There is no more pausing, no more waiting for clarification. The angels pounce together, carrying him higher and higher into bliss. Sam closes his eyes, lets himself be carried upon the tide of their love for him, and when the time comes, he falls. When he comes back to himself, the angels are right there with him as they had promised they would be, catching him and grounding him.


	14. "Jensen Ackles? That's fake me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sincerely apologize to everyone who is waiting such a long time for this chapter, it really gave me some trouble.

Sam woke with a gasp, staring around the room slightly disoriented. He's almost surprised to find that Dean isn't bleeding out from a sword wound somewhere inside the room. 

"You alright?" Lucifer's deep voice questions in his ear. 

"Just a nightmare," he mumbles, voice still heavy with sleep. "Lemme up a minute. Just gotta call Dean real quick."

"It's three a.m."

Sam nods, rifling in the pocket of his discarded jeans. The phone rings and he bounces anxiously. "This is Dean Winchester. Leave your name, message, and monster- what the f**k do you need, Sammy?" Dean's voice cuts off his automated message as he picks up, sounding grumpy and sleep deprived. 

Sam exhales in relief. "Just wanted to be sure you were okay."

"Yeah, of course. That it?"

"Yeah."

"Nightmare?"

"Mmm," Sam hums in agreement. "Just wanted to be sure."

"Okay." Dean's jaw cracks with the force of a yawn. "Let the phone on. I'll keep it running." Sam nods even though Dean can't see him, crawling back into Lucifer's arms and nesting in to his bare chest. "Night, Sammy."

"Night."

In the morning, the dream is far away, and Sam hardly remembers it. They eat breakfast and jump back to the hotel, where Michael sweeps them up in wedding planning yet again. 

"Location, location, location," Michael mumbles as he paces. "Where to go, where to go?"

Gabriel leans forward and whispers to Lucifer. Whatever he says gets a nod, so he goes to Sam next. "What do you think about getting married inside an active volcano?" 

Sam blanches as he imagines the thing erupting. Gabriel laughs as he reads Sam's mind, and before Sam can be self-conscious about that, he snaps his fingers. Inside this alternate world, it's very warm and balmy- they're probably in Hawaii but Sam has no way of knowing for sure because he's never been there. It's dark, night time, and there are rustic- looking torches surrounding the aisle. The front of the aisle has the red glow of lava reflecting off it. Another quick snap. Lucifer's there now, the lava light throwing his face in shadows and making him appear ethereal. 

"So, what do you think?" Gabriel asks. Sam turns to face him. In the lava light he's more handsome, looking dark and mysterious. 

"It's beautiful."

"Should we do it for real? Just like this? Or do you want anything different?"

"Hawaii?" Sam confirms. 

"Yeah."

"The flowers should be hibiscus. And the chairs should be beach chairs, but the fake bamboo kind. Oh, and we should be barefoot, with the aisle made of sand."

Gabriel's answering grin is electric. "Father, I love you. You're perfect."

Sam quips, "You're slightly biased."

"You're sure that's not too early?" Michael's asking Cas. 

"I'll just stay up all night the night before. It won't be a problem."

"You better not," Dean says, then whispers something in Cas' ear. 

"Oh!" Cas looks scandalized. "Really?" Dean nods. "I'll be sure to sleep the night before, and go to bed so I can get up early without trouble," he amends to Michael. 

"What did we miss?" Lucifer asks. "What time did you guys decide on?"

"Dawn. In a church, so the morning sunlight can come through the stained-glass windows and bathe us in the beautiful colors," answers Michael. 

Sam smirks at Dean, who shrugs with a little 'what can I say?' expression. 

"Traditional. You would," Lucifer scoffs. 

"And what did you decide, Oh Brother-Who-Thinks-He's-Superior?"

"An active volcano in Hawaii."

"Rebellious. You would," Michael mocks in a perfect parody of his brother's voice.

Sam and Gabriel snigger in unison, prompting Lucifer to shoot them a look filled with faux betrayal. "Don't laugh, he becomes insufferable because it encourages him."

"Here's a list of things you must address before the wedding," Michael says, serious again as he steamrolls on. 

Lucifer takes it grudgingly, holding it by his fingertips and away from his body like he expects the paper to come to life and bite him. Sam reaches out to pluck the paper neatly from his hands. 'Location, flowers, groomsmen?, catering, cake, decorative pieces for tables, other decorations, guest list, seating, catering location, honeymoon...' Sam stops reading then. It seems Michael has gone completely overboard.

Gabriel takes hold of it then, conjuring a pen and beginning to tackle the list. "Location: active volcano in Hawaii. Flowers: hibiscus-"

"And roses," adds Lucifer. When both men look at him strangely, he clears his throat and says, "What? I like roses."

"And roses," Gabriel writes. "Groomsmen? Castiel, Michael, and Dean. Catering: luau, Cake: definitely, Decorative pieces for the tables: fish, Other decorations: torches, Sam's naked body-"

"No way!" Sam protests, causing Gabriel to cackle. 

"Just kidding. I didn't really write that."

"And what do you mean, fish?"

"Like, in fishbowls."

"That's tacky," Michael argues.

"Well it's a good thing it's not your wedding then."

"Put fish everywhere," Sam requests, "they're my favorite animal."

"No, they're not," Dean says.

Sam laughs. "They're not, but if Michael won't like it I think we should have a whole lot of them."

Michael glares at him, but Sam ignores him. Gabriel continues on, "Seating: Bamboo chairs, Guest list: do we have to?, Catering location: a good idea, Honeymoon: sure, thanks for offering, Music: At least one salsa song...and 'Heat of the Moment'."

"No, not that song. I hate that song."

"Add 'Sympathy for the Devil', 'Devil Pray', and 'The Devil went down to Georgia,'" Lucifer requests. "I'm narcissistic enough to admit I like those songs because they're about me."

Gabriel writes them. "'Ghostbusters', 'Monster', 'Can you feel the Love Tonight?', 'Every Time we Touch', 'E.T.', 'Candyman', 'Sexy Back', 'Cowboy Casanova', 'God Gave Me You',...we can add more to that list later. There! Done!"

"Which of those are slow dance songs?" Sam feels the need to question. 

"There's two. How many do you think we need?"

"Well, I'll probably have to slow dance with you, and then Lucifer, and then the two of you together. So at least three."

"Fine. You and Lucifer can dance to 'Papparazzi.'"

"Gabriel, that's not a slow song."

"No, but it'll be funny. 'I'm your biggest fan, I'll follow you until you love me'" he sings. 

"You're an idiot."

"In a few short days I'll be your idiot."

"Joy," Sam drawls. 

"You and I can dance to...um....'Candyman'. Lucifer and I can do 'Hey Brother.'"

"I don't know any of the songs you just named," whines Lucifer. 

"We'll teach you to use YouTube. And at the end of the reception, you and Lucifer can dance the salsa, Sam, then I can drag you two off to ravish you and have my wicked way with you."

"I think you're forgetting something really important, Gabriel. I can't dance the salsa. I can't dance, period," Sam argues. 

"Then I'll teach you," Lucifer volunteers. "I'm very good at it." He starts some music, and within seconds he and Michael are whipping dramatically around the room. 

"Look," Dean remarks, "I'll bet this is how they acted before all the bad blood with the Fall and the Apocalypse."

Gabriel's looking distinctly teary when he nods. He clears his throat, scrubs at his eyes, and smiles at the Winchesters. Sam reaches out, drawing him close with an arm around his waist and nestling him into his side. They stand like that until the oldest two whip back around, ending in front of the Winchesters with a dramatic dip. 

Michael states, "Well brother, I have certainly never had a partner dance the woman's portion of the dance as well as you."

"It's times like this when I remember why the Apocalypse sounded like a good idea."

"You couldn't. You'd miss me too much."

"And what does that say about my mental well-being?"

"You're marrying a Winchester. What does THAT say about your mental well-being?"

Lucifer retaliates in a high falsetto, "What does THAT say about your mental well-being?"

Dean and Sam exchange glances of exasperation. Then by silent agreement they leave, searching for Bobby and some jobs. 

There is one, miracle of miracles, so they jump in the Impala. Dean begins blasting 'Immigration Song' and Sam cranks the windows down as he belts out the lyrics with Dean. It's a wonderful day, and he's content. 

The case is a stupidly-simple salt and burn, resolved quickly and leaving tearful family members in their wake. From there, it's a simple matter to grab the laptop as soon as they get back to the hotel. Sam starts researching immediately, while Dean goes to orbit Cas like he's a planet, talking with him in a low voice as he recounts their job. Sam smirks at them both. "You're nauseating," he calls.

Surprisingly, it's Cas and not Dean that flips Sam out of the chair for that comment. 

"Castiel, please be gentle with Sam! He just got over being sick again," Azazel comments as he enters the room. 

"Are you feeling better?" Ruby asks anxiously, arm looped around Azazel. "Do you remember where you are now?"

Sam gives Dean and Cas a look of confusion. "Guys, what are you talking about?"

"You know. Half an hour ago you came in here babbling about a birthday party, tried to kiss me, then walked out to the car and asked someone to help you pull in a keg."

Sam's brow furrows further. "When was this?"

"About half an hour ago, we already told you."

"Dean and I just walked through the door. We were on a salt and burn." He jumps up and grabs a silver knife from the Impala. Probably a shifter trying to impersonate him, but he grabs iron too just in case. 

As he comes back inside, he can hear his own voice arguing with Ruby. "I thought you said you weren't coming until later," not-Sam says. 

"Sam, stop!" Ruby begs. "If you kiss me Lucifer might kill me."

"Hey!" Sam thunders, entering the room. What he sees really confuses him. There's a guy that looks just like him, talking with Ruby while leaning against a wall. He looks relaxed, she looks tense. 

"What the h*ll?" Not-Sam says wondrously as he stares at Sam. 

"Back away," Sam orders tersely, brandishing the silver knife. Not-Sam follows directions, backing away with his hands up in the air. "What are you?"

"Um, human?" Not-Sam answers, sounding as though for the life of him he doesn't know the correct answer. 

Sam's distracted by two other men entering the room. Apparently it's not enough to have Not-Sam, because now there is also Not-Dean and Not-Cas. 

"Poughkeepsie," Not-Sam intones calmly. 

The response to this is sudden and even more confusing. Not-Dean plants himself in front of Not-Cas and begins pushing them toward the door. Not-Cas, on the other hand, drops his pants and screams.

"What the h*ll, Misha?" Not-Dean demands in exasperation.

"Just following orders," Not-Cas/Misha answers cheerfully.

"Dude," Not-Dean has the same exasperated look on his face that Dean often gets, "that's the response for 'Pudding!'"

"Misha?!" Dean echoes. "But- you're dead!"

"D*mn it! I wanted to reach forty-four!" Misha exclaims, stomping his foot like a child.

"You died several years ago," Sam says. "We accidentally got sent to your world by Balthazar, and you were killed by an angel!"

"Guys, that was a TV show. It was fake. Plus, c'mon! We're filming 'Supernatural.' Nobody stays dead for very long."

"Except Richard," Not-Dean adds.

"Except Richard," Misha agrees.

"Wait, wait, wait. That's fake me?" Dean asks, staring incredulously at the guy. "You're Jensen Ackles?"

Not-Dean/Jensen nods. 

"Which makes you Jared Padalecki," Sam clarifies, and Not-Sam nods. 

"So you guys are the Winchesters. And that's Castiel, the actual Angel of the Lord," Jared says. "And that's not my wife, that's a demon," he continues, pointing to Ruby, who turns her eyes black for a second. He skitters back a few feet. 

"So, you really did marry fake Ruby."

"Eight years and counting. Plus three children: Tom, Shep, and Odette."

"Boop." In the time Jared was talking with Sam, and Dean has entered into some sort of awkward staring contest with Jensen, Misha has wandered over waaaay into Cas' personal space and booped his nose as Cas used to do to Kevin. Only he still hasn't moved his finger. 

"Jensen," Jared hisses.

"Misha, what are you doing?"

"Proving Tumblr right."

"What's a Tumblr?" Cas asks, but nobody answers. 

"Please stop," Jensen calls. 

Misha reluctantly moves his finger. "So," he says as he walks over, "there's obviously been some divergence between our world and what we're filming and yours. We just wrapped our thirteenth season, and you guys are jumping through portals and Dean said yes to Michael. But that doesn't seem to be the case here. What's new?"

Sam looks between Dean and Cas, then says, "Well, we're getting married."

Misha's mouth drops. "WINCESTIEL IS REAL??????!!!!!!!!!"

"What is Wincestiel?"

"You know. Sex between the Winchesters and their Angel of the Lord," he answers.

"Like, Dean and I, both having sex with Cas? EW! No. Dean is marrying Cas and Michael, and I'm marrying Lucifer and Gabriel. Oh, and Bobby will be marrying Balthazar and Crowley, and Azazel is marrying Lilith and Ruby."

"You're doing what, now? Are you crazy?" Jared cuts in. "You were tortured in Hell, were you not? You did go insane afterward, with Hallucifer following you everywhere? So now you woke up one day and went 'I'm gonna marry the enemy, yay!'"

"Chuck mentioned world peace."

Jared nods sagely like he's suddenly gained the answers to the universe. "Of course."

"Wait a second," Dean interrupts. "Don't tell them anything else, Sammy. I don't believe them."

"What do you mean, you don't believe them? Of course they're fake-us."

"I don't believe it. Misha doesn't even sound like Castiel."

Misha laughs, clears his throat, crosses over to Jensen and growls, "Hello, Dean," in Castiel's gravelly voice. 

Jensen looks up blandly. "Cas. We talked about this. Personal space?" he prompts. 

"Well, I believe them," Sam decides promptly. 

"What about you?" Dean questions Jared stubbornly, arms crossed over his chest.

Jared takes a breath and turns so he's facing away from them. He turns slowly. "Whatever you do, you will always end up here. Whatever choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up...here. I win. So, I win."

"I never said that," Sam begins, but stops when he realizes Dean's looking distinctly nauseated. 

"No, you didn't. Lucifer did."

"What?" Sam's confused again. 

"Dean was sent into the future after he split from you about the whole demon blood thing. Zachariah sent him to the future, where you had said yes. Lucifer killed the 2014 version of Dean, then proceeded to taunt the 2009 version- your brother- with the lines Jared just delivered. He was wearing you, of course, so it's lines Jared had to learn as being Sam's," Jensen explains. "Though, really, man? You should've chosen one where you were Sam and not Samifer."

"Well apparently Samifer is the only time I was sexy," Jared complains. "Someone at Comic Con told me that yesterday."

"We know!" Jensen and Misha say together. 

"Sam!" Lucifer says, entering the room and crossing to Jared. "You're back and safe!" He goes in for a kiss, but Jared pushes him away.

"I'm not Sam. He is," Jared says. 

Lucifer looks up, eyes going comically wide. "Your souls look identical. I've never seen that before," he breathes. 

"I'm Jared. I play Sam on a TV show," Jared says, offering his hand to Lucifer to shake. Lucifer shakes his hand politely. "That's Jensen, and Misha." He gestures to both men in turn. 

"Lucifer," he says as way of introduction. 

"Honey, you're not Lucifer. My ex-husband is Lucifer," Misha whispers to Jensen, who's shoulders start shaking as he laughs. 

"Shut the f*ck up," Jensen whispers back once he's done laughing. 

"Get back here you rugrat! You better pray I don't catch you, because if I do I'm going to kill you!" Michael shouts. Gabriel runs into the room with Michael hard on his heels. Michael's hair is a brilliant shade of purple, which might be why he's yelling. 

Gabriel throws himself into Jared's arms, not even seeing Sam. "Protect me!"

Jared frowns. "Gabriel, what have you done?"

"My hair is purple!"

"Why?"

"He asked what color my suit was! That's an open invitation!"

"Your suit is purple? Wait. Nevermind. Of course it is. But you should apologize to your brother. And fix his hair."

"Just because he doesn't have a sense of humor-"

"Now, Gabriel."

With a put-upon sigh, Gabriel snaps his fingers and Michael's hair returns to it's normal dark sheen. Jared stares at him oddly for a moment. 

"What?" Michael snaps, crabby. 

"Just weird to see you with a shirt instead of looking like a halfway-committed stripper."

Cas and Misha snicker in tandem. Michael turns and his eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets. "Gabriel, what have you done now?!"

"Oh my Father I cloned my fiance! Best day ever!"

"Not exactly. We're from an alternate universe," Jensen says. "We play you guys on a TV show. I'm Jensen. Sam-lookalike is Jared, and that's Misha."

"So why are you here?" Michael asks. 

The three men look back and forth between each other. "I thought because of Gabriel."

"A prank with an easy fix," suggests Jensen. 

Gabriel holds both hands up. "This wasn't me."

"Then who was it?" Jared asks the room at large. No one answers him.


	15. Death and Resurrection

Unfortunately the only answer they have as to why Jensen, Jared, and Misha are all running around is just theories. Nobody seems to know how they got there, or why. 

It's only when Misha gives himself a paper cut that the why gets answered. Castiel, who's sitting with Dean on his lap helping the three TV superstars do research on how to send them back, begins bleeding as well. He doesn't notice, but Dean does, and when he looks up he realizes Misha is bleeding too. 

"Michael!" Dean screams. He's there in a flash, materializing next to Dean and grabbing him, watching protectively around the room for an attack of some sort. "I figured out why they're here. Misha's bleeding and Cas is too."

"Paper cut," Misha mumbles around the finger in his mouth. Michael gently pries his hand out of his mouth, then holds his other hand out for Cas. Cas correctly interprets this and places his own hand in Michael's, palm up. Identical paper cuts gleam up from the identical hands. 

"If they hurt them, they hurt you," Michael deduces, "and vice versa. Brilliant, Dean," he declares, pressing a kiss into Dean's cheek.

Dean blushes and scrubs his cheek like a child as soon as Michael's back is turned. He leaves to discuss 'added security measures'. Dean goes back to flipping through the book, sitting next to Cas with their legs tangled this time. 

Jared bites his lip anxiously. "They brought us here to die," he proclaims grimly.

"You're a ray of sunshine today Jared," Jensen complains.

"I'm just saying. Any villain of our TV show wants to kill us- them- and can't seem to. And if they succeed we -they- don't ever stay dead for long. But if our lives are linked, we're easy targets. We're practically sitting ducks."

"No we're not," Misha argues. "You're forgetting that everyone has a vested interest in keeping the Winchesters and us alive. We've got a bunch of angel protectors because they need the Winchester brothers to make it down that aisle."

"So they figure out a way to separate our lives, then we die."

"Probably easier to just send us back home," Misha quips. 

"Guys!" Bobby calls somewhere in the hotel. "Come quick!"

They all run off, even the TV boys. Bobby is looking at a video of a huge storm gathering on TV in what must be his own room. He taps a blurry figure at the edge of the screen. 

"Alistair," Sam mutters under his breath. Then he glances down and realizes the man has a bottle with a substance Sam recognizes all too well. 

"What the f**k?" Jensen questions. 

"Demon blood," Sam answers, dread in his tone. "Dean, we need to get there, now!"

Raphael steps into the camera then, and calmly wrenches the microphone from the perky blonde reporter. She struggles but she's no match for an angel. "Sam and Dean Winchester. Come to us." he calls tauntingly. 

"They'll kill you," Michael says. "You can't."

Alistair wrenches the neck of the reporter back and forces demon blood down her throat. The whole group gasps collectively. 

"We can't not go," Dean argues.

"Of course you can! Send us instead!" Jared argues. "They won't know the difference!"

"You'll be killed!"

"And you won't be! That way the wedding can go on!" In this moment, everyone forgets that hurting Jared would result in Sam being hurt, and so on. 

"Take us there, Michael!" Misha orders calmly. His face is pale, but he doesn't contradict Jared. 

They link arms and disappear. Sam isn't about to watch this all play out on a television screen. "Dean, can you put us in that building?" he requests, tapping a building at the edge of the screen with his finger. "I think we should be closer, but still unable to be seen."

Dean throws them into the building. Sam looks out the window, and that's when everything goes downhill. Jensen has a sword through his chest, just like Sam dreamed last night. The weapon is pulled out and he collapses face first. 

Beside Sam, Dean gasps, hand travelling to his chest. Then he leans back against the wall, slides down, and doesn't move again. 

"We're so closely linked that Dean's dead too," Sam speaks aloud to the empty room, praying the information to Michael. 

Michael doesn't respond. And that's the last thing Sam is aware of. 

When he wakes up again, he's in his soon-to-be kingdom, strapped to a torture table. "Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," Alistair mocks. Then he picks up his knife and stabs Sam with it. 

Sam blinks at it hazily. "You'll have to do better. I was tortured by Lucifer and Michael."

"We're just getting started."

The knife travels around until Sam's skin is hanging off his body before he speaks again. "So tell me, how did you know Jared wasn't me?"

"We didn't. When your brother materialized you in that room, you never looked around. Brady saw you appear through the window and we quickly figured out you were the real Sam and Dean. The others were quite impressive though. Where did you find them?"

"You could say they just appeared. How did you get me, then?"

"We knocked you out with chloroform." He stabs Sam's heart. Sam doesn't respond, acting like he never felt it. In fact, he doesn't respond to any of the things Alistair does. He drifts asleep as Alistair chops his toes off. 

When he wakes up again, Meg is standing over the table, and Alistair is dead at her feet. "C'mon, Sleeping Beauty. Alistair's dead and your fiance is waging war."

Sam looks pointedly at his arms, which are still strapped to the table

"Oh, right." She frees him and helps him up. His skin has repaired itself while Sam dozed, so Alistair would have a fresh canvas to begin again. It helps them now. Sam wiggles one foot, then the other to encourage blood flow, then he takes off. 

Meg sweeps him back, slamming his head against the wall. "I'm going first, Hotshot."

"I apologize. I wasn't aware I needed to obey the 'ladies first' rule for lady demons too."

She sneers at him. "I'm sorry, do you want to be attacked by hordes of demons as we sneak you out? Because if not I suggest you let me go first."

Sam makes a sturgeon face at her, but allows her to go first with a sweeping gesture. 

BAM! Sam's and Meg's heads snap up in tandem. "What was that?" Sam asks. 

"Your fiance. I told you he's waging war."

"Well, no one's going to hear us escaping with him making that kind of racket."

Meg takes off with a loping trot. They pass other rooms with people on the racks. Sam hesitates for a minute, rocking toward the door unconsciously. Meg reaches back and grabs his hand, yanking him away. "You can't. I know, you're such a bleeding heart you want to rescue everyone, but you can't. This is exactly why some of them don't think you'd be a good ruler for us."

"They're being tortured, Meg. No one deserves that."

"There are some who do, Sam. And you can think about that when you're ruler, when you have the power to change it, but for now you don't. You have to walk away. As of right now, your life is more important than theirs."

Sam allows himself to be dragged away, though he still feels the guilt. They can't all be saved, sure, and sure, some of them may deserve it...but so does he. He drank demon blood, started the Apocalypse... no one deserves it more than he does. But Meg is dragging him out of Hell, saving him when he doesn't deserve it. He's going back to his family and fiancee's that love him enough to battle for him and start a war for him, but those other people don't have people like that. It makes him sad. That will be one of the first things he'll change.

"Hey!" yells one of the demons, spotting them. "A prisoner is esc-"

Sam cuts him off by blasting him with hellfire.

Meg yanks him behind a wall as several other demons thunder past. "Hotshot was supposed to be a nickname! And why on Earth didn't you do that when Alistair was torturing you?"

Sam stops. "Oh yeah. Forgot I had that ability."

"You're an idiot," Meg declares, "Hell is doomed. We're going to be ruled by idiots."

Sam doesn't answer because a demon has rounded the corner and nearly knocked into them both. He raises his hands again, but the demon begs, "Wait!"

Sam lowers both hands in a gesture of goodwill, though he's still ready to incinerate her if she makes a wrong move. 

"You're Sam Winchester?"

"Yes," he confirms tersely. 

"They've been talking about you. They're going to release your greatest fear."

Sam grimaces. He doesn't know what that means, but he's not entirely sure he wants to find out, either. By the time he looks up again, the demon has disappeared and Meg has stolen the lead. Sam runs right past her, but surprisingly Meg doesn't complain again. Any demon that spots them is lit on fire, until finally they've reached the entrance to Hell and spill out into the sunlight. 

Meg wasn't kidding when she said Lucifer was waging war. There are angels and demons everywhere Sam looks, as far as his eyes can see. It's difficult to tell who's winning, but his friend certainly seem to be holding their own. Gabriel and Lucifer are battling Raphael together, pressing their two-person advantage and keeping him off balance. Cas is whipping around in the air, spiraling as he battles Metatron. Sam can't see Michael anywhere. 

Arms wrap around him from behind and Sam throws his elbow into the muscled abdomen, startling a grunt from the man. "Sorry, Michael. Warn a guy before attacking from behind."

"Father, I'm glad to see you. Are you okay...ish?"

"Ish," Sam repeats playfully. He pulls back both hands and releases a blast of hellfire from his palms surrounding the enemy in impenetrable flames, gathering the attention of allies and foes alike. 

Gabriel let's out a loud war whoop when he sees Sam. "That's my boyfriend!" Then he launches into 'My Boyfriend's Back', which was probably never meant to be sang at the volume Gabriel is currently singing. 

"Sam!" Lilith calls. She claps him on the back, then extends Ruby's demon knife toward him. "Take your weapon, My Lord."

Sam wraps his fingers around the handle. "Thanks." 

Sam looks up to find Lucifer. Their eyes meet, Lucifer smiles faintly, then his expression twists. Raphael had overcome his surprise at seeing Sam first, and stabbed his distracted older brother in the back. He wrenches his blade free, and Lucifer crumbles like the blade was the only thing that was keeping him up. He collapses to the ground, wings burning large patterns into the ground behind him. 

Sam can't think, can't move, can't get to Lucifer. Because this is all a mistake, Lucifer can't be dead, they're getting married soon. This was probably Gabriel's idea, a lousy prank that he doesn't realize isn't funny. He staggers over to Lucifer and collapses to his knees, feeling desperately for a pulse though he knows logically he won't find one. Of course he won't, live angels don't get wing imprints burned into the ground.

Someone's arms wrap around him and begin yanking, taking him away. Sam struggles in the person's grip, screaming and fighting. It's only when the person swears in his ear that he realizes the unknown assailant is John. He doesn't care, he's not sorry for hurting him. He was trying to take him away from Lucifer.

"Sam!" Bobby calls, voice sounding far away and distorted as though he's shouting through a tunnel. Sam doesn't understand why. He should move through the tunnel to talk. Other hands join his on Lucifer's body. Sam very nearly hurts these hands, but then he looks up. They are Bobby's. He should not hurt Bobby. That's not nice. Raphael, on the other hand, he should hurt. He killed Lucifer, and that's also not nice. 

Sam realizes he's being pulled away, calming voices babbling at him. He digs his heels in, refusing to move further. Where's his other fiance? Lucifer is dead, but where's Gabriel?

Suddenly he's there, filling Sam's vision as though he's much larger than life. He touches Sam's elbow, crooning something. Sam couldn't tell if it was words or just sounds, his brain isn't working that well yet. Instead he pulls the archangel blade out of Gabriel's hand and turns so he's facing whatever threat may come, one hand planted firmly in the middle of Gabriel's pecs to be sure he's still there. 

Raphael is gone now, Sam sees as he looks around the battlefield. The demons have smoked out as well, so that only their group is left. Someone is kneeling over Lucifer, perhaps making sure he's dead. He definitely is. Sam checked. 

Before his astonished eyes, Lucifer gasps out a breath, body shaking with the effort to an extent even Sam can see. He sits up, says something to the person over him, and searches the battlefield until he meets Sam's eyes. He jumps up and lopes over. Sam tightens his grip on the archangel blade, waiting tensely.

"Sam?" Lucifer asks. 

"Stay away from us. You can't have him too," Sam orders. 

"What are you talking about?"

"You're not real. You're not Lucifer. You're just a hallucination wearing his face."  
................................................................................................  
Lucifer stops with his hand outstretched toward his fiance. He withdraws, both hands down at his sides now so Sam realizes he's not planning to attack. "It's really me," he insists. 

"No, it's not. I saw the wings scorched into the ground," Sam argues. He's still holding the blade, clenched in his fist like he's ready to skewer an archangel and have BBQ angel wings. Right. New tactic. 

"What are you going to do with that blade, Sammy?" Lucifer asks, voice condescending. "Going to stab me with it? I'm a hallucination, a part of your own head, I'm not real. You can't kill me, because I'm just you're screwed-up way if coping with your fiance's death."

"Oh marvelous. Well done, Lucifer. This is truly the way to convince him you're alive," Gabriel bites out. 

Lucifer shrugs. He can't think of anything else, and Sam's still looking like he wants to kill someone. But then he turns the blade toward his own palm and slices. Lucifer is fairly certain he squawks like a chicken. He's trying to get the blood to stop flowing. How deep is the cut? Skin is separated, but are the bones and tendons fine? How about the nerves? He should be able to tell, but because Sam is close to immortal and can't be healed, he can't tell. Can humans bleed out from hand cuts? How much blood is too much?

Sam's pushing him out of the way, then presses down on the cut so blood spurts everywhere. "It's not working," he mutters. 

Lucifer slaps Sam's hand. It's only when he hears the crack echo through the clearing that he realizes he might have slapped him a bit too hard. "Stop that!" he orders, ripping his T-shirt and applying pressure to the cut. 

Sam laughs, insane and maniacal, but he stares at Lucifer like he's witnessing the second coming of Christ. "It's really you."

"I've been trying to tell you that, you complete imbecile!"

Sam throws himself at Lucifer. He's kissing him like his life depends upon it, which is nice, but Lucifer is still trying to get the bleeding to stop. He flutters frantically for Sam's palm while they kiss, still applying pressure. 

Sam finally breaks their desperate lip-lock. "How are you alive?" he questions, carding his fingers through Lucifer's blonde hair.

"My Father brought me back."

Sam looks around, spots Chuck, and stalks toward him like a panther on the prowl. Lucifer and Gabriel both hustle after him. 

"Why?" Sam's demanding when they catch up, as Chuck heals his hand. "Why are Jensen, Jared, and Misha here? Why'd I go to Hell again? And why did Lucifer have to die?"

"I sent the boys here specifically so you'd have to go to Hell. You were too well-protected, and I needed you to be warned of what's coming. The visions aren't telling you enough."

"So you sent me off to get a message from a random demon that's as helpful as a cryptic videogame throwaway comment?"

"I know it feels that way now, but I promise it will all make sense eventually."

"My greatest fear. What does that mean, exactly?"

"You'll figure it out."

"You are no help!" Sam explodes. "Raphael's been trying to kill us because he thinks Dean and I are witches and cast a spell on the archangels to prevent the Apocalypse!"

"I know, Sam, I know. He's under control now. He didn't realize you were following orders. He's retreated to Heaven, and he will not come after you again."

"And Dean's still dead."

Chuck heaves a great sigh. "That's because my sons are idiots."

He waves his hands so a hotel room bed appears. Dean's laying on it on the left side, Jensen on his right. Then he waves again, and Misha and Jared appear too. 

"Michael put valiant effort into healing Dean, but he forgot Dean wasn't the one who was killed. He was killed because Jensen was." Thus saying, Chuck lays a hand on Jensen, who jerks upright. 

"What's going on, Rob? I've been having the strangest dreams-" 

He doesn't get any further because Jared yanks him off the bed and into a hug. Misha can't wait his turn, so he crawls up his back, wraps his arms and legs around Jensen, and hugs him from behind. Then Lucifer's attention is diverted, because Dean lets out a groan. 

Michael's climbing the bed in his haste to get to Dean, mashing their lips together the second they get close. He pulls away after probably two solid minutes of kissing, just long enough to tug his shirt off. Cas climbs on the bed too, grabbing Dean's plaid shirt and rips, so the buttons all ping as they hit the soft dirt. 

"Not that I'm a prude, but could you three maybe keep it in your pants long enough to get to a private place?" Gabriel queries. 

Dean pulls away. "I'm going to die more often if this is the greeting I get when I come back," quips Dean. 

Michael snarls his displeasure at this idea and bites Dean's lower lip sharply. Dean surges up with a low growl and bites him back. 

"Guys!" Sam snaps. 

Dean pushes Michael until he topples off the bed. "We are waiting for our wedding night, remember?"

"Right back atcha."

"Where's the fake us-es at?" Sam asks, looking around as he desperately searches for any kind of distraction from the almost-porn going on in front of him. 

"I sent them back to their universe. They had a surprise birthday party for Misha that they all needed to be present for."

Chuck waves his hands once more and the entire group is back at the hotel. Lucifer tugs on Sam's hand, leading him toward the stairs. "We're not waiting for marriage, and I want you upstairs in my bed naked right now."

"I second that," Gabriel laughs. 

Sam looks between them both for a moment before a mischievous smirk crosses his face. "Catch me if you can," he taunts and he darts off, taking the stairs four at a time with his long legs. He pulls his shirt off mid-jump and throws it in Lucifer's face. 

Gabriel snaps his fingers and the stairs turn into a giant slide, sending Sam back to their feet. "Caught you," he announces as he throws his arms around Sam and picks him up. 

"No fair, Gabriel!" Sam protests. 

Lucifer laughs and pulls his brother into an absolutely filthy kiss. "Good job. Now that we've got our prize, what should we do with it?"

Gabriel taps his chin. "I want to tie him up and have my wicked way with him."

Sam gapes at him. "Oh yes, that sounds lovely. Let's go," Lucifer agrees with a wicked leer at Sam's shirtless body that makes the Winchester blush like the virgin he isn't. 

Gabriel snaps again, sending them up to their room. They spend the rest of the night, and the entire next day, in a sex haze. It's wonderful, and Lucifer finally falls asleep feeling so lucky to be alive. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So apparently the last chapter was the most controversial I've ever written. I was curious as to whether or not I could write the Supernatural cast in a way that would do them justice. I cannot- and I don't just say that because I got a few negative comments. I didn't like it either. So if you hated the chapter, don't worry it will never happen again. If you loved it, sorry, it still won't happen again. That's it; hope this chapter is better.


	16. A Little More Demon Every Day

Sam wakes entirely too early with a gasp, loud in the otherwise quiet room, but blessedly quiet enough not to wake the men beside him. He should have been too emotionally and physically exhausted to have nightmares, but here they are. He looks over to the clock, which is blinking 3:52 in cheery green against the far wall. Great. He's gotten less than an hour. 

Sam closes his eyes and flops back against the pillow, but the vision of him bleeding, black blood dripping from his nose onto his hand keeps replaying. He's turning into a monster, either that or he's subconsciously afraid he's turning into a monster. There's not much difference at this point. 

He sits upright again, ignoring Gabriel's grunt of protest. There's no way he's getting back to sleep, and now he's curious as to whether or not he actually has demon blood. Again. 

He creeps downstairs to the bathroom, locking himself in. The only knife he has with him right now is Ruby's, and that brings up it's own interesting question: will it hurt worse if he slices himself with it now, if he's becoming a monster?

Sam bites his lip, raises the knife, and slashes. It's intense pain, the worst he's ever felt- worse than being stabbed by Jake, even. 

"Sam!" Ben's outside the door, and pounding frantically. Sam collapses against the door, trying to find the breath to lie and reassure him he's alright. 

"Sam, what was that?" Claire calls. "Ben, go get our Dads."

If Sam would get his breath back he would tell her not to bother, because he's fine. Really, he is. He looks curiously at the wound on his arm that started this whole thing. It's sliced open, gushing blood black as demon eyes. So that's his answer then. He's a monster, becoming a little bit more of a demon day by day. 

Now Michael's at the door, and while he's considering breaking it down- Sam can hear him talking loudly through the door, trying to convince Sam to open it- Dean has apparently given up waiting and appeared in the bathroom with Sam. Dean always did have trouble with waiting. If it was possible he would have hastened every fight he and Sam had ever had with every monster, because Dean didn't like to wait. Someone needs to teach Dean to wait. Patience, after all, is a virtue.

"What the h**l were you thinking?" 

Sam presses his bleeding arm behind his back, trying to hide it, but Dean catches sight of the movement and grabs Sam's arm. The two brothers stare at the gaping cut pulsing blood. Then suddenly Dean's moving, ripping the door physically off its hinges as he yells for Cas. 

"What is it, Dean?" Cas is right outside the door too, and he shoves into the bathroom with them. The space is much too small for the three men, but Cas is undeterred. 

"Look at Sam's arm!" 

Cas purses his lips as he stares at the proof of Sam's evil. "Okay, okay. This is okay. We thought this might happen."

"We did?" Sam croaks, the first words spoken since he's sliced into his arm. "Because I certainly didn't. I'm a monster!"

"No, you're not."

"Cas, look at me! I'm bleeding black!"

"But your soul isn't twisted into a demon. You're still you, just changing."

"So how long before my soul twists?"

Cas squints at him. "I can't tell like this. I could- no. Gabriel or Lucifer could check that for you. It would be a challenge to them if I were to do it."

"What's going on? Why are we awake?" Lucifer grouses. His hair is still mussed and sticking up a variety of different directions thanks to Sam and Gabriel. He looks very nearly human, and Sam's heart gives a painful lurch in his chest as he reaches out to his fiance for comfort, stepping out of the small bathroom as he grabs for him. 

Lucifer cradles him gently. "I'm turning into a monster. Look," Sam confesses, holding the arm black with demon blood out for Lucifer to see. 

Lucifer stretches out his hand, then withdraws a second. "I can check. If you want. If you trust me. It's a dangerous thing- to touch someone's soul would cause you excruciating pain. It could cause you severe damage, you could literally blow up."

"I know. Cas has done it before. You should do it now."

Lucifer reaches into Sam's chest with a blinding light. Sam grits his teeth and tries his hardest not to scream. 

"My God. Father," Lucifer mutters softly, and he withdraws his hand again. 

"What?!" Dean demands, as Sam pants for air that seems to be evading him. "What did you see?"

"How bad is it?" Sam whispers in a hoarse voice. 

He looks at Lucifer and his stomach drops out. There's tears in Lucifer's eyes.

"Father in Heaven," Lucifer mutters. "I can't- you're so beautiful, Sam. Your soul isn't twisted at all, and it never will twist. It's pure, it looks like Dean's did as 'the Righteous Man' actually. I can't imagine- there is no part of me that can fathom that you are mine. You are so perfect. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Awe-inspiring. Exquisite. Astonishing. I thought I was irredeemable, but to see you is to see my Father's forgiveness."

"How is that possible? I'm bleeding black!"

"I don't know. I can never claim to understand the Will of my Father. But it's true. It's undeniable."

"Guys? I woke up and you were gone!" Gabriel whines as he joins the group. "Luci, why you crying?"

"I'm just overwhelmed. I'm fine. We should go back to bed."

"We should all go back to bed," Michael says. 

Ben and Claire are the first two to leave, fingers reaching out to intertwine. 

"Hold up!" Dean bellows. "What the f**k, you two?" he demands, looking at the two teens. 

"What's wrong, Dad?" Ben asks innocently. 

Dean gestures between the two of them angrily. "What are you doing?"

"Um, holding hands, Dean," sasses Claire.

"Um, no. That's not allowed."

"But Dad, Claire and I are dating now."

"You're what?!"

"Well you see, when two people like each other very much..." Claire begins mockingly. 

Dean cuts her off with a snapped, "I know what dating is! I just didn't realize you two were doing it. You're not allowed!"

"We don't answer to you," Claire tells him. 

"I am his father-" Dean begins, and that's when Sam decides to cut him off for his own good. 

"Dean, let's discuss this later."

"They're stepsiblings, it's practically incest!" hisses Dean furiously. 

"They're not related at all, it's fine," Sam mutters back. "Let's go to bed."

Ben glances up and mouths 'thank you.' Sam nods, twisting so only Ben can see the thumbs up he's giving. Ben laughs then drags Claire off. Sam drags Dean off toward the elevator, Dean still muttering angrily under his breath. 

As soon as Dean is dropped at his door- and really, Michael or Cas could've taken him, but where's the fun in that?- Sam nearly bumps into Lucifer, who he hasn't realized had been tailing him this whole time. 

"I'm not going back to bed. I already had a nightmare, the hour I got is going to have to suffice."

"I didn't think you would agree to go back to sleep," Lucifer demures. "I was going to volunteer to stay up with you and teach you to dance the salsa for our wedding."

"Oh." Sam's plans to think about the ruling of Hell take a backseat. "Sure."

Round about the tenth time Sam has tromped on Lucifer's feet, Sam is starting to wish he had taken the political route. "Here, Sam, try again," Lucifer says as Sam frees himself to stalk off. To his credit, Lucifer had been immensely patient, even in light of Sam's over-large Moose feet crushing his. 

"Nah, I think I'm done. Let's talk politics."

Lucifer refuses to be baited. "Once more. Then we'll gather the demons and discuss whatever you want."

Sam huffs his frustration through pursed lips, though he does as his fiance suggests. The music returns and Sam allows Lucifer to guide him through it, eyes shut tightly as he relies on Lucifer to lead him. 

"Very good." Lucifer's praise coincides with the last note hanging in the air. Sam's eyes fly open as he hears clapping. Unbeknownst to him, the demons had come in some point during the dance. 

"It's good to see you finally submitting to your destiny," Azazel tells him. 

"I'm not destiny's b***h," protests Sam. 

"That's not his point, Sam, and you know it," Lucifer chides, his hand slipping around Sam's waist. "What did you need?"

"You called us about a meeting," Ruby reminds him. 

"Ah, so I did. Sam wished to discuss some ideas for the ruling of Hell." Lucifer answers, snapping his fingers so Sam's notebook full of ideas is in his fiance's hands. 

"Why don't we step into the conference room?" Azazel suggests. 

Sam leads the way, ensuring that they don't end up in the one he's familiar with. It's enough to re-live Gabriel's death once. 

"Where's Crowley? Should we run and get him?"

The demons exchange a look, but no one answers verbally. 

Sam glares at each of the three in turn before repeating "Where's Crowley?"

Lucifer's hand on Sam's wrist is the only thing stopping him from drawing the demon blade. "Crowley is fine," he reassures his boyfriend. "He's just not a demon any longer."

"What?" 

"Crowley and Balthazar are both becoming human. It's part of the 'ambassadors to Earth' thing."

Sam pulls away, glancing at everyone suspiciously. "Balthazar and Crowley both said they weren't changing. I asked."

"And they've always been trustworthy?" Lilith asks. "Crowley, in particular, has been nothing short of 100% honest with you in the past, I'm sure."

Sam grabs his phone and begins dialing. "Bobby, where's Crowley?" he asks sharply. "Because he's missing a demon meeting...Demon or not, I still want his opinion on stuff...Well then, wake Sleeping Beauty with a kiss, but tell him I'm starting in five minutes and he needs to be here." Sam clicks the phone off, then turns on an alarm. Then he sits at the conference table and props his feet on the table. He leans back so the chair is balancing on two legs, both hands folded behind his head. 

Crowley comes in with a flourish just as the alarm starts going off. "This had better be important, Moose," he grouses.

"I'm hosting a demon meeting."

"I'm not a demon."

Sam smiles, all teeth. "But I value your opinion."

Crowley sits at the table next to Sam with an angry huff. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

"Flattery has ALWAYS gotten me EVERYWHERE. I don't expect it to fail me now." Sam's feet hit the floor with a crash. "Right. Now that Crowley's here we can get started. I've been looking into how to divide souls more fairly between Heaven and Hell, but I can't figure out the current method. Can someone explain it to me?"

"Heaven claims most everything. We get the 'truly evil', based on our discretion, and those who make deals at the crossroads," Azazel answers.

"Well, that's unfair," Sam states bluntly, which causes every demon to snort.

"It is, but that's how it works," Lilith says.

"Maybe not anymore, though. I was talking with Michael about this earlier. We're going to work with him to divide the souls in a more fair manner, starting with defining 'truly evil'. So what is considered truly evil?"

"Murderers, anyone with crimes against children, abusers, human traffickers, drug kingpins-" Azazel begins.

"Anyone dumb enough to make a crossroads deal with a demon," Crowley chimes in.

Sam's scrawling frantically, handwriting becoming messier as the demons suggest more. "And once you're in Hell, how do you get out?"

"You don't," Lilith says bluntly. "There's only been one person in all of history to accomplish it, and that's because he had an angel garrison come for him."

"Dean," Sam realizes, tapping his pencil across his notebook. "Because stupidity shouldn't be enough to get you in Hell."

"Now listen, you can't just take away the crossroads deals. The demons will revolt," Crowley cautions him.

"No, that's not what I'm thinking. What if- no, hang on. I need a minute to put my thoughts together." Sam purses his lips, folding his hands together and setting them on the notebook. "Okay, so what if we advertise it?"

"Advertise it?" Ruby echoes. "Like, 'crossroads deals, buy one get one free?'" she mocks.

"Kind of, yeah. So get this. You put the information about Hell out there. You explain how to make a demon deal. You talk it up like it's a great thing- we can do anything you want, and you'll keep it for ten years, for the measly price of your soul. Your brother died? We'll fix it. He'll live, and you- you'll get ten years of happiness with him. Afterward, we get your soul. But that way everyone knows what they're getting into. People will still be interested. Then we add on a catch. If you are interested in getting your Hellbound friend/family/whoever they are back, you can try to go to Hell and rescue them yourself. But if we catch you, we keep you too."

"That's insanity!" Azazel declares, "But it might just work."

"Ruby?"

"Let's try it."

"Lilith?"

"Why not?"

"Crowley? Will it even work?"

"It might. We should try it."

"Lucifer?"

Everyone waits, feeling as though they're all holding their breath. "Michael might not like it. But we should present it. The worst he can say is no. Let's try it."

"Alright, so back to true evil. Are there any other suggestions of who to doom to Hellfire?"

"There's something you might want to consider before you solidify that list," Crowley begins.

"Shut up," hisses Azazel. "Don't you dare."

"What am I forgetting?" Sam asks, glancing between the two men. Whatever it is, Azazel isn't pleased Crowley is pointing it out.

"Crimes against children." Crowley takes a deep breath for fortification before adding, "That would include child abuse."

"Obviously, that's just wrong," Sam agrees.

Crowley pinches the bridge of his nose. "If you include that in your definition, then John Winchester is going to Hell."

"D**n it, Crowley!" Azazel declares, slamming his hand angrily on the table.

Crowley glares at him. "Would you rather him find out when his father dies, and launch a revolt against the kingdom he's leading?"

"My father isn't an evil man. He was consumed with the desire to get revenge for his wife, but that's not something that should get him sent to Hell," Sam argues.

"It's not the revenge that does it. It's the child abuse, neglect, endangerment...I could go on."

"I'd prefer you didn't," Sam answers in a clipped tone.

"He wanted your brother to kill you. That alone is grounds for being sent to Hell. To say nothing of the multiple times he hit you or your brother, the times he left you without money, the times-"

Sam cuts him off with Hellfire this time, a short burst before Sam reels it back in. His eyes are literally fiery, dancing with the flames he's holding back. "I said I'd prefer it if you didn't go on. I'll deal with that later. We'll redefine some terms, I'll discuss it with Michael. And I'll bring the idea of advertising to him too." Sam looks over to Crowley. "Thank you for bringing that issue to my attention." He makes eye contact with each of the demons in turn, "Thank you all for attending. We're done here for now."

And then he storms out of the conference room. Lucifer follows him, able to see that Sam's upset, but Sam vanishes without a trace. Lucifer sighs and trots off to wake Gabriel and discuss this new development.


	17. True Evil

Unbeknownst to his fiance, Sam had stormed out to the Impala and crawled inside. He pulls his phone out and jabs contact information for Dean, tapping his fingers against the dashboard anxiously while waiting for Dean to answer. When he finally does, he says, "I'm in the Impala. I need to talk to you."

A flutter of wings is the only warning he gets before Dean appears in the car with him. "What?"

"They want to send Dad to Hell."

"No way! Dad's already been there once, he doesn't deserve to go back!" protests Dean.

"I know, I know. We'll figure out a way around it."

"How?"

Sam shrugs helplessly. "I haven't gotten that far yet."

Dean sighs. "Okay, new topic then. Any other ideas on your crazy visions?"

"No. Dead end on that front too."

"Do you have any idea of when your visions take place?"

"No, absolutely none. It's driving me crazy, not having any answers."

Dean sighs again. "We'll figure it out, all of it. We'll keep Dad out of Hell, and we'll get you seeing only normal things." Thus saying, he turns to look at Sam, really look. "Dude. When was the last time you slept?"

Sam shrugs helplessly. "We had sex all night two nights ago, and most of the day. I didn't sleep then. And last night I got an hour before I was woken up with that nightmare or prophetic vision or whatever telling me I had demon blood."

"Why don't you climb in the back and catch a few more Zs? I'll look out for you."

Sam should do the responsible thing. He should return to the hotel, find his fiances, and discuss the definition of true evil with Michael. Barring that, he could be trying to find ways to keep his father out of Hell, or even planning his wedding. There are a lot of things he should be doing. He does none of them. Instead, he follows Dean's suggestion and crawls into the backseat, curling up into a ball. It's not comfortable, even less than when he was a child sleeping sitting up, tilted onto Dean's shoulder. But he's too tired and he drifts off without further problems.

He feels as though he's just closed his eyes when he falls into another nightmare, this one featuring him standing in Lucifer's Cage as he looks around. There's dark figures in chains, and Sam approaches one of them. The angel looks almost dead, but there's no mistaking Gabriel.

The scene changes suddenly, Mary Winchester smiling at him before she slides up to the ceiling and bursts into flame. John's voice, disjointed as he screams, "This is your fault!" 

Sam sits upright. "I don't think it's going to help. I can't sleep."

"I'm right here Sammy, I can-"

"Dean, I just had another nightmare. I can't do this. It's fine. Let's just go back inside."

Sam walks begrudgingly back into the hotel. He should go talk to Michael if he's not going to sleep.

Michael is easy to find, if only because he is in the room next door to Sam's own. Sam raps on the door impatiently, ready to battle for what he thinks is right- a more equal division of the souls going to Hell, and also a way to keep his own father out of it. Michael will most likely disagree with him, and with that thought Sam pounds harder on the door.

Cas opening the door stops Sam in his tracks, because he hadn't necessarily considered that anyone other than Michael might open the door. But now, face-to-face with his brother's other fiance, Sam is left floundering for no reason. "Cas. Hey."

And when had he suddenly been unable to talk to Cas, of all people? At one point, Sam would've considered Cas a best friend. 

"You don't look good."

Sam shrugs helplessly. "Nightmares, ya know? Anyway, I'm here to talk to Michael. Is he around?"

"He's in the bathroom. Showering. You could wait for him, if you wanted."

Sam sits down, flopping down on the edge of the bed. He tilts his head, hearing the faint sound of singing coming from the bathroom. His eyebrows crawl up his forehead. "That's Dean."

"He's brushing his teeth."

"So let me get this straight- your fiance and your other fiance are in the same bathroom. One of them is naked, and you just trust they're not having sex without you because you're 'waiting til marriage'"?

"Wouldn't you?"

"No!"

Cas tilts his head, squinting at Sam like a confused puppy, long enough for Dean to finish brushing his teeth and exit the bathroom, then kiss Cas long enough to make Sam vastly unconformable. Seriously, is it necessary to make out in front of him?! He is learning far too much detail about little sounds Cas makes deep in his throat when kissed. Michael comes out just as Sam is considering finding an angel blade to blind himself with. 

"Good morning, Samuel."

"For the last time, it's Sam!"

Michael heaves a sigh way too similar to Dean. "Good morning, Sam not Samuel. What do you need?"

"What is the definition of true evil?"

"Why do you need to know? Wait, don't tell me, let me guess. You had a meeting with the demons today. You can't figure out how we send people to Hell. You want to revitalize the process somehow. How am I doing?"

"I want to keep my dad out of Hell."

Michael dismisses Sam instantaneously, without even turning to look at him. "Not going to happen."

"But he's a good person!"

Michael snorts.

"I'm serious!"

"No he wasn't. Your father is a bad man."

"The strength of one's convictions-" Sam begins. 

Michael rolls his eyes before interrupting. "Is that what you're calling it? Strong convictions? There is nothing that makes what he did all right. He lost Mary and that was a tragedy, but that doesn't mean he had a right to hurt you!"

"He was blinded by vengeance and a thirst for revenge. He needed to make it right- and he did. He did what he set out to do. That's a good thing."

Michael huffs, storming over to sit on the chair near the bed. "What you don't seem to grasp is that just because you are doing something because you believe in it does not make it right."

"Sure, but it was a demon. That was the right thing to do."

"No, listen," Michael begins, looping his fingers around his knee, "let me put it a different way. There's a man trying to get into heaven, alright? He believed that he needed to rid the world of people who believed other than he did. So he died as a suicide bomber. Should he go to heaven?"

Sam freezes. "That is a completely different scenario," he chokes out after an indeterminate amount of time has passed. He can see Dean nearby, blatant shock written across his face. He's not moving either.

"Is it? Listen, Sam, I feel bad for you, truly I do. I know you want to help your father. I understand you idolize him, in spite of his numerous flaws. But I will not help send an evil man to heaven."

"So there's no other way?"

"No."

Sam nods. He should say something else, thank you for taking the time to talk to me, perhaps. His mouth doesn't work, though. He opens his mouth and closes it. Then does it again. He nods, then yanks the door open.

Fine. If Michael won't help him, Sam will be sure that his idea to rescue people from Hell gets through with the demons. He and Dean will do it when their dad dies. And if Dean won't help, Sam will go it alone.  
...........................................................................................................................................................................................................  
Instead of going to find Lucifer or Gabriel, Sam grabs his laptop first. He needs to come up with various propositions, more extensive than the ones he mentioned this morning. He begins to wonder if it would be possible to rescue someone from Hell- if humans would be able to do it. He could possibly get someone to try, maybe Adam? Of course, make it clear Adam won't be kept in Hell and maybe... Or, potentially, they could put the person on trial. Sam had to defend Dean against Osiris once, and the Greek mythology says that their afterlife can only be attained by a trial too. So this might also be a possibility. The difficulty would be in determining unbiased judges. They might be able to use Bobby, Balthazar, and Crowley for that. He types for so long that he quickly loses track of time.

Sam finally snaps back to awareness when his computer is being shoved out of the way by a black nose. "Hello, Juliet," Sam says, petting the huge Hellhound. He moves and feels his whole spine pop in protest. He's really been sitting too long. He stretches longer, shoulders and knees popping too. Then he pops his neck, spine again, wrists, and each individual knuckle on his fingers. He rolls his long body once and sets off to find his fiancees. The day is nearly over and he's hardly seen them.

Sam exits the stairwell to hear angry voices. "I don't know where Sam and Dean are, and I'm not interested in trying them."

"Who are you? I demand to speak to the Winchesters!"

"Lucky for you, we are the Winchesters. And we said no."

Sam steps into the light, making sense of the situation quickly. Samuel Campbell is back, and Adam, Claire, and Ben are holding him back. 

'Dean, get here now,' Sam prays silently. 'Bring a gun.'

Dean appears in the next second, brandishing the weapon. As soon as he stops Samuel threatening his children, he speaks. "Step away from the kids."

Samuel turns, nasty smile in place. "Dean. Sam. Exactly who I was looking for." He points a gun, previously unseen, at them. 

"Claire, Ben, Adam- go upstairs and find Michael."

"Dean-" Claire begins, but Dean interrupts. 

"Go now."

Samuel cocks the gun. "I wouldn't do that if I was you," he says. 

"You really going to shoot your great-grandchild, Samuel?" Dean asks brashly. 

"I plan to shoot my grandchildren, so what's the difference?"

"Dad?" Mary came down the stairway and stares. "What are you doing with that gun?"

"Mom, please don't get involved," begs Dean. 

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just evening the playing field, honey. I owe these two-"

"My children! Dad, these are your grandchildren! My oldest son Dean, named after Mom, and Sam, named after you."

"We've met. I'm not impressed with either."

"Why do you have that gun? Dad! You're not going to shoot your grandchildren?"

Claire, Ben, and Adam wisely take this moment to exit stage right, scurrying out the door to the stairwell. 

"Well, Mary, I'm not exactly thrilled with your sons. They killed me!"

"They did what?!" Sam takes the coward's way out. He follows the Winchesters in everything but blood up the stairs, dragging Dean behind him.


End file.
